i had one of those moments this morning...
myrvin
Posts: 9
…where I looked over at myself in the mirrors which make up the four walls of my work elevator. There were 4 of me: sopping wet hair, scary bags under my eyes, coffee with cream in one hand, breakfast burrito in the other, terrible posture, clothes tighter than I would like, but I didn’t have time to pick out my “fat clothes” this morning. I literally said out loud "Wow!" laughed at myself and promptly exited the mirrored case.
If I had seen someone that looked like me, I’d think “This person fell out of bed and doesn’t care about herself” and I would have tried to convince myself that I’m not that bad. But let’s call a spade a spade here – that is me and I did literally fall out of bed because I didn’t care enough to take the time for myself this morning.
You see, I’m not new to MFP. I deleted my account around my birthday last year as I thought I was ready to do this on my own…without a scale, without my MFP friends, without a care. *chuckles and rolls eyes* Let’s just put it this way: my birthday is in a few weeks and I’m sad to report that I’ve gained 15 lbs since my last birthday when I was rocking it out with MFP, my scale, and my sneakers.
They say “Too much of one thing is not a good thing” which is why I opted to rid myself of my obsessions. I was weighing in every morning, logging-in every hour on the hour, and was unreasonably cranky if I didn’t get some exercise in at some point during the day. Although I had good intentions of changing up my plan of attack, I think it’s pretty obvious that I managed to throw the biggest wrench in my own fitness and health plans.
Granted – A lot has changed in my life in the past year, some bad, some good, but I am able to seek out the positive note in each experience. Now, it’s time to pick up the positive and get the ball of motivation rolling! I’m scared to death to start again but I know it is the right thing to do.
I believe I am prepared to take the time for myself again – how crazy is that sentence? No matter how hard it will get, I have to remember to stay calm and to take it one step, bike ride, cucumber bite, or day at a time. I can’t wait to hear all about you and your story… I’d love any support, advice, or chuckles you would like to share so we can motivate each other along the way. Please add me!
Oh and, if it hadn’t been for this elevator, I probably would have not acknowledged that a swift kick in my own *kitten* was long over due. So for that, thank you mirrored elevator at work!
If I had seen someone that looked like me, I’d think “This person fell out of bed and doesn’t care about herself” and I would have tried to convince myself that I’m not that bad. But let’s call a spade a spade here – that is me and I did literally fall out of bed because I didn’t care enough to take the time for myself this morning.
You see, I’m not new to MFP. I deleted my account around my birthday last year as I thought I was ready to do this on my own…without a scale, without my MFP friends, without a care. *chuckles and rolls eyes* Let’s just put it this way: my birthday is in a few weeks and I’m sad to report that I’ve gained 15 lbs since my last birthday when I was rocking it out with MFP, my scale, and my sneakers.
They say “Too much of one thing is not a good thing” which is why I opted to rid myself of my obsessions. I was weighing in every morning, logging-in every hour on the hour, and was unreasonably cranky if I didn’t get some exercise in at some point during the day. Although I had good intentions of changing up my plan of attack, I think it’s pretty obvious that I managed to throw the biggest wrench in my own fitness and health plans.
Granted – A lot has changed in my life in the past year, some bad, some good, but I am able to seek out the positive note in each experience. Now, it’s time to pick up the positive and get the ball of motivation rolling! I’m scared to death to start again but I know it is the right thing to do.
I believe I am prepared to take the time for myself again – how crazy is that sentence? No matter how hard it will get, I have to remember to stay calm and to take it one step, bike ride, cucumber bite, or day at a time. I can’t wait to hear all about you and your story… I’d love any support, advice, or chuckles you would like to share so we can motivate each other along the way. Please add me!
Oh and, if it hadn’t been for this elevator, I probably would have not acknowledged that a swift kick in my own *kitten* was long over due. So for that, thank you mirrored elevator at work!
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Replies
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Welcome back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:flowerforyou:0
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Wow what a story. It rings so true for me, I had something similar a few weeks ago looking at photos on facebook. I wondered who the big girl was in a photo at a friend's party, I clicked on it and the larger image showed, yes u guessed it, me! I hadn't seen myself in profile for a long time and the double chin and huge arms shocked me out of the terrible lazy-*kitten* rut I've been in since getting married. Who knew bad photos were a good thing??0
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Never forget that you are important and deserve to succeed and - more than that - you are 100% allowed and encouraged to be selfish and awesome. (selfish in the healthy sense)0
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I totally feel you on this! I became obsessed with MFP when I first joined and was doing so well, but then I became overly obsessed. I was losing weight but not the totally healthy way. I started to eat less and it was becoming a problem for me mentally so I needed to stop and refocus (and then I gained back some weight).
I am hoping that with the kids going back to school next week I can have more time to start this again... I remember how good I felt just a few months ago when I started to really notice a change in my appearance. I need to get back there, but do it slowly and healthfully (is that even a word?).
You can do it and so can I!0
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