Hey I'm New...

Littlemopeep

Hi I'm a mother of two boys in the UK, a 21 year old and an 8 yr old, and I'm 44. After being slim all my life, Ive suddenly developed a bit of an obsession with food and just can't stop eating unhealthily, as a result the weights piling on, Im now 133 lbs, and Im 31% fat, granted it may not be much to a lot of people who are heavier, but its what I look like thats seriously getting me down and depressing me. I just cant seem to lose it, my tummy is a mess... just looks awul. Its beginning to have an affect on my relationship with my partner as well... it just makes me want to cry. Im pretty active, Im usually on the go but its still going on and not coming off.

I think it all started after I had my youngest, he has autism, and can be very hard work, and his dad left me and I was totally isolated and for the first 4 years literally had no sleep, and would be up through the night just smoking heavily and eating, then through the day I would crave sugar just to get my energy levels back up. I lost a little bit then I met someone 3 years ago but the old patterns have crept back, I wake two or three times a night, worrying he's going to leave me, as Im getting older, and bigger, and that he's going to find my son too much hard work, consequently, I comfort eat, feel guilty, comfort eat more... and on it goes.

Would like some tips and advice on how I can get motivated, and not obsess about food, and use it as an emotional crutch, before things get too out of hand for me. Thanks very much. Mo