What I realized is holding me back

hbarker216

I realized that I have been holding back on my full potential at losing weight. Not because I don't want to lose weight, but because I am AFRAID to change. I have been afraid of stripping myself of everything i currently know and rebuilding my environment & habits.
I have came to be comfortable with my body and accepting of it, when I shouldn't settle for less in life! Whether it be my personal appearance, education, or relationships in my life, I have decided to NEVER settle for less any longer. I deserve better, I am worthy of better things. I realized that it is okay to be selfish sometimes and to take care of myself.
Reasons I have failed in the past:
1. I failed to admit that I have a problem

My problem is that I have convinced myself that I am 'addicted" to fast food and that when i eat it, it makes me feel better like a euphoirc feeling...when in reality im convicing myself that it is making me feel happy so that i compensate for my guilty feeling of eating the greasy unhealthy food.

2. I have become complacent
I let myself feel okay with being fat, and ignoring the reality. I tend to convince myself that I am okay with where I am weight wise when I'm really not and has made me depressed. In order to combat this issue, I have commited to not buying any new clothes if I continue to gain weight...therfore I'm going to end up looking ridiculous if I don't lose this weight.

3. I wanted other people to do the work for me
I would constantly ask for family or friends to help me lose weight by not allowing me to do certain things such as eating unhealthy. Of course this method wouldn't work as we all have free will and I would overpower their helpful actions. Also I had been on a search on helpful advice from others such as "what do you eat that is healthy, give me ideas" when in reality i should do my own research and find my own healthy options and educate myself!
4. I keep avoiding research on where to start

I have always had the excuse of "I don't know how or what to do". Instead of excuses, I need to start reading and educating myself about how others have succedded but not ONLY that I need to customize it to fit my needs and to figure out what exercise regimen or foods work for me.
5. I have refused to change my lifesytle

I tend to think "i do this every weekend" or "i always go out with this person and we only have fun when we eat this or that at a particular place". When the real deal is that if I want to change then I really need to do and to never make exceptions.
6. I have vauled others opinions more than my own
Just because my mom or someone else says "you look healthy" or "you look great with a little more meat on your bones" doesn't mean I should value it over my own thoughts and feelings and come to the reailty that I do and want to lose the weight.
7. I have refused to exercise
I make every excuse in the world to not exercise such as "its too hot" or "im too tired" or "i need to do something else"....I have an excuse everyday for about anything. I am done with these excuses, Im ready to face my fears and just do it!

8. I have a false sense of self
I tend to walk around and tell other people and convincing myself that I am happy with myself and that I am oh so wonderful and great. When in reality behind closes doors I feel ashamed, guilty, and full of tears cuz i don't like my appearance. I need to be REAL about how I feel about myself.

9. I have been afraid and resistant to chnge
I become fearful and upset and not aware of what will happen if I do change. I need to realize that it is okay for me to change and everything that comes with that change because I can't grow knowledgable without it.
10. I wouldn't free myself and let go
I have held onto bad things that have happened to me, or life changing events that changed my life in a different way than I expected things to be. Or to hold onto stressful things and relationship pasts that i couldn't let go that were toxic. I must forgive people and things that have happened, and let go of the things I couldn't control.

know_your_worth

I'm happy for you!
That's great that you've come to realize what's been keeping you from reaching your goals. It's so important and such a hard thing to acknowledge and recognize sometimes. I think having that breakthrough moment where you can pinpoint things you need to address is one of the best feelings.
I can relate to more than a couple of the things you've listed.

As such, I find self-help books interesting and inspirational. Recently, I read "Unlimited" by Jillian Michaels. Wasn't a fan of her personally, but I have to admit, that book is very well written and makes you think. It also includes mind exercises you can do that challenge your way of thinking. I found it helpful and I would recommend it, if you're interested in that sort of thing.

Best of luck to you xx

aggie65

I Know the part about changing. I HATE change, but I realize now, especially in my personal life, that I NEED to change certain things. I've always lacked the ambition to lose weight. I believe I have it in me to do it. It was always easier to say " I'll do it tomorrow". We can do this. And it is SOOOO nice to have support. I want to lose weight for ME! We can conquer our fears.