Sex, Life, Depression...

kryssy77

Well i usually dont just ramble about my problems on her although i need to just get it off my chest and i know you all will understand!
I have been looking for a job for 5 months...no luck which leads to me not having enough money to even by my son a birthday gift.
I had 100 dollars saved ffor christmas then my daughter got pnuemonia and 50 went out the window for meds then she got the flu and now i have bucks.
My fiance get paid about 1000 a month after rent 500 car insur 130 preschool 150 bills 160 and gas <depends> we have nothing!
This has left me crying most nights which leads to to sex and he gets mad... I cry because i cant do it i have no help just my fiance and i and my 2 prescious children.

This all leads to overeating and or not eating at all depending on the day and my weight never goes down or up i was losing then after my sons birthday i realized my kids arent gonna get more then 1 gift for christmas<from angel tree> i cry and im depressed and stay ing bed all day im just not with it!!!

Thanks for listened needed to vent that

lmr9

I'm sorry for your hard times. You are not alone and YOU ARE DEFINITELY WORTH IT! Chin up... :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

BrenNew

Well i usually dont just ramble about my problems on her although i need to just get it off my chest and i know you all will understand!
I have been looking for a job for 5 months...no luck which leads to me not having enough money to even by my son a birthday gift.
I had 100 dollars saved ffor christmas then my daughter got pnuemonia and 50 went out the window for meds then she got the flu and now i have bucks.
My fiance get paid about 1000 a month after rent 500 car insur 130 preschool 150 bills 160 and gas <depends> we have nothing!
This has left me crying most nights which leads to to sex and he gets mad... I cry because i cant do it i have no help just my fiance and i and my 2 prescious children.

This all leads to overeating and or not eating at all depending on the day and my weight never goes down or up i was losing then after my sons birthday i realized my kids arent gonna get more then 1 gift for christmas<from angel tree> i cry and im depressed and stay ing bed all day im just not with it!!!

Thanks for listened needed to vent that

I'm sooo sorry for all that you're going through! Times are tough for sooooo many people these days! I'm lucky in that my husband and I both have jobs, and our kids are grown and know that with the poor economy, there won't be much of a Christmas. But little ones don't understand. In my town we have a Secret Santa program, where most people buy gifts for the certain kids in town who's families are having tough times. Maybe your town has something like that. Or, what about relatives, such as Aunts and Uncles and Grandparents?
I hope things turn around for you soon and you can find a job so that things won't be so tough.

Mina133842

our church also sponsors families for the holidays, have you talked to your pastor? Sometimes the church can help you out more than you know (at ours we can adopt a family, and it's also anonymous, so we don't know who it is, and they don't know who adopted them). and also - try volunteering too- you'll find that it makes you feel better- I know it helps me out. The vet's hospital, or the animal shelter- women's shelter, whatever charity inspires you, help them out with your time - also looks good on a resume
Best Wishes! Good luck on the job search, you're in my prayers!

AmandaB4588

Oprah's Christmas show last year featured gifts fit for this economic slum we are in (rather than her normal HUGE giveaway.) There were really GREAT gifts on there that will be remembered far more than any expensive gadget. See if you can find something on that episode! I know one thing was just a really nice letter to each family member telling them what you love about them.

Also, I was tight on cash last Christmas so I made a calendar with home photos to hang in our kitchen. I made it on Walgreens.com and it was about $20---- I imagine totally handmade would be less. I found old photos from when my siblings and I were toddlers and scanned them to my computer. Each month's photos had some sort of significance. For example, my bro's bday is in November so there was a baby picture of him, a grown picture of him, then some Thanksgiving pictures. Even though there were other awesome presents (WiiFit, Ipods, etc...) mine was the biggest hit.

This year, my sister had a baby (she is the oldest, so this is the 1st of the grandkids.) I am the family's photographer (hence the calendar!!) and have also been filming on my camera while everyone thinks I am taking pics. I am putting together a video montage of my nephew for everybody for Christmas. Since I already had a camera, I just downloaded a video editing software (free) and bought some blank DVDs. I have some really good moments--- everyone's first time seeing the baby, his first time rolling over, the nurse telling us how long he is, etc--- and I know that my gift will be the biggest hit again.

I don't know what to say about everything else other than to keep your head up and know that you will get through this rough time!! & remember that the BEST gifts are the ones that involve thought and time, not cash.

Kpablo

First I'd like to say I'm so sorry your going through a rough time. I think we've all been there at some point whether financially or emotionally, or like you both.

Second, I don't know you at all, therefore certainly don't know your religous beliefs. But, for me, when my husband and I were struggling financially we'd pray about it. Prayed for help. Last year was probably the toughest year we've EVER have had together, but late December last year my husband landed a dream job and since has been promoted twice. I believe without prayer we'd never be in the situation we are in now, not having to live from pay-check to pay-check.

Lastly, I'd like to mention an inexpensive, natural and effective remedy for depression. Last year with all our struggles I took this, and it helped me through the rough times. You can get St. John's Wart over the counter at Walmart or any other store that sells vitimans.

I'll pray for you and your family.

joeleen

growing up my parents were in the same situtation year after year,
but honestly i dont remember a single gift from any holiday.

we recieved help from the church and oother organizations almost every year
what i remember was my parents and my sisters, and the songs the food,
the ordinary things
dont waste any time feeling down, find work
and show your family that all you need is each others company.

now i have the things we never did then

but thats nothing to what i use to have

best wishes

spagagna

Our town (and most other towns) has a great food pantry program. At ours anyone can go in, no questions asked, and get a week's worth of groceries. I wouldn't say its enough for all meals all weak, but it is actually close. Also, there is a thing called Angel Food that gets you enough food to feed a family of four for a week and is $30. www.angelfoodministries.com lists places that have it. That's just the food -- there are plenty of federal and state programs that I am sure you qualify that provide help for everything from utilities to food to health insurance to rent. I think the biggest thing I have found is to find happiness outside of what is situational or you will have a hard time being happy when things ARE good. Seems like a platitude, I know, but finding that lasting joy makes a difference.

foxyforce

I don't know if I am understanding right, so correct me if I am wrong. But he is getting mad at you because you are too stressed out to have sex? What a misogynistic pig.

Hunny, you need to learn that your body is YOUR body. It doesn't matter if you are married, single, dating, dead. Your body is yours. You can say no when you choose and he can't say or react angrily about that. His reaction is unwarranted so please do not let this add to your list of already stressors.

When I graduated from college a few years ago I applied to over 100 different places, catering my Resume and Cover Letter to each one. It took me over a year to land a job. Hang in there, keep at it, the perfect job is there waiting for you, you just need to stay strong enough and keep your head above all the water to get to it.

kryssy77

I want to thank you all for the words of encouragement!! I pray everyday and i just hope it will get better!!

Thanks again

AwMyLoLo

This too shall pass.
You ARE worth it.
Your family is worth it.
Love is way more valuable than money.

I know it is hard right now, I am so sorry for what you are going through. You have to be strong now for your family.

As far as upcoming gifts for birthdays and Christmas... You could have a wonderful birthday party for your son. Invite your family and friends for a potluck party. I'm sure each person would bring some sort of gift for your son, he would never know the difference. I'm sure your family understands the difficulties you are going through. Same with Christmas, plan to get together with family, where everyone is receiving gifts. If you are worried about getting something for everyone, go the homemade route. Thoughtfulness is the greatest gift.

I agree with the volunteering around the holidays. Last year I volunteered locally and it was one of the best experiences of my life. I packed food that had been donated for needy families. It was an eye opening experience - all the people that came together to put these donations together. I'm not sure how old your son is, but this year I would like to take my 4 year old neice to do this with me. I think she would have fun sorting through all the food and I would explain to her why we were doing it, which even at her age I think she would appreciate. On the other hand, there are those organization out there that help needy families around the holidays. Do some research and contact them to see if they can help you.

You really should try to get active during the day while you are home. I'm not sure what type of job you are looking for, but volunteer work would look amazing on any job application. If you don't want to do that, exercise really will help you feel better. Get out and take a walk or turn on some music and jump around, get your heart rate up, do something good for you!

I will be thinking about you and your family. I hope things start to look up for you. :flowerforyou:

AwMyLoLo

I don't know if I am understanding right, so correct me if I am wrong. But he is getting mad at you because you are too stressed out to have sex? What a misogynistic pig.

Hunny, you need to learn that your body is YOUR body. It doesn't matter if you are married, single, dating, dead. Your body is yours. You can say no when you choose and he can't say or react angrily about that. His reaction is unwarranted so please do not let this add to your list of already stressors.

When stresses are high sex drive is low. I understand that. If you can start feeling better about yourself you should start feeling better about sex. It is frustrating for a man. I'm not sure to what degree he is getting mad at you about it... he shouldnt be pressuring you or getting mad at you about it. My husband and I went through something like this when I was planning our wedding. I told him he needed to drop it for a while and I would let him know when I felt like making love. It pissed him off, but he did it. Within a little while of not feeling pressure from him, I wanted sex. I hope you can talk to him and work it out.

arewethereyet

my kids got everything they wanted, and I am up to my ears in debt.....they are no better off than the kid down the street with 1 gift.

Your love and time you spend with him is what he will remember. When the kids talk about years past (they are all in their 20s now) Not ONCE have they mentioned the gift they got. It is always

MOM remember when you dropped the pumpkin pie, and tried to pretend it didnt hit the floor and we found dog hair in our pie???

Or remember when the dog knocked down the tree....dang that was funny!

remember when we burnt all the cookies and you said they looked more like real raindeer>>

You get the idea.

Make ornaments for you tree, cook something with him, make cinnamin buns in the morning and tell him a story....the Birth of Christ or The Night Before Christmas.

Honey, money will come and go..............memories will last forever.

We had nothing growing up, and I remember the turkey someone cooked and delivered to us from a nearby church. It was the best Christmas ever!!!

arewethereyet

Ok, I just saw you are in school. That is the #1 thing you can do for your families future, getting educated.

DO NOT be afraid to put your name in at local churches. They love to give at Christmas.

kryssy77

I thank you all so much really i do i just feel alone in this and i have put my names in place this will just be the first year my daughter is in preschool and wants a friends party and i cant do that or christmas for them it kills me.

As far as the sex thing we get through fine he understands

and the job thing still no luck and there is nothing around i have applied to over 75 places 78 to be exact in and around my area and stil nothing!! I go to school full time and my goal is to get a good education for my kids!!

This little conversation has helped me a bit!! I have no family here they all live 800+ miles away and as for friends i only have one since i moved here only 4 yrs ago and dont get out and she not very helpful!!

Thanks for trying to pull me out of the black hole im in!!

0mega60

EAT RIGHT ............(because we have the tools and education to make a change these days)....
MONITOR YOUR NUTRICIAN....(because we have these programs and phone apps on iphone)
EXCERCISE...........(half the price of a donut per day)

= FEEL BETTER....=LESS DEPRESSED=DESIRE TO BE SEXUALL

THIS IS A CIRCLE OF life and health......

half a coffee without the donut and everything else will start to follow in place with patience and passion to feel better