Moms of Autistic Children

perfectingpatti

My 12 year old with autism is playing in his first middle school football game tonight. I'm so nervous.

dolly3186

My 12 year old with autism is playing in his first middle school football game tonight. I'm so nervous.

How did it go?

perfectingpatti

My 12 year old with autism is playing in his first middle school football game tonight. I'm so nervous.

How did it go?

His team won. He got a little playing time in the first quarter until he missed a tackle. After the game, he said, "I almost tackled a guy but he slipped out of my hands. In football, we call that 'butterfingers' ". I guess he thinks that's a technical football term! He was happy about the win.

dolly3186

My 12 year old with autism is playing in his first middle school football game tonight. I'm so nervous.

How did it go?

His team won. He got a little playing time in the first quarter until he missed a tackle. After the game, he said, "I almost tackled a guy but he slipped out of my hands. In football, we call that 'butterfingers' ". I guess he thinks that's a technical football term! He was happy about the win.

LOL Butterfingers...that is too cute!! I'm so glad that he had a good time. I love hearing all these stories. They uplift me so much and give me so much hope for my son. I know he is so little now that a lot of progress can be made.

dolly3186

How is everyone doing? I'm interested in this thread still, so hopefully some of you that replied can update me/us on how your little ones are doing.

My son is 17 months now and he still has no language at all. He sees a developmental specialist who does therapy with him 3x a week. We have an official appointment with a behavioral pediatrician on October 24th. I'm very nervous although I am fairly certain now that he will be diagnosed. The more I read, the more and more everything looks like my son. He still has no language as I said, but he also won't point or show interest in sharing toys with me or anything, he also doesn't wave bye bye or hi or anything.

The good news is that he is making progress. After 2 nights of teaching, he finally knows how to give a high five! That was so exciting to me.

He also learned recently how to play with a toy car with me. Before he would spend time sitting on the floor spinning the wheels of the car and not playing with it. His father and I rolled the car back and forth to each other and to him and even though it took a long while, he started to get it and started rolling it back and forth with us like it was a fun game.

I almost cried whem he did that. It's funny the things you get excited about...things like rolling a car back and forth.

Just wondering how everyone's doing. Any more advice or info i'd appreciate it! I've been having good days, but there are still some bad ones thrown in that I cry. But then I get over it.

perfectingpatti

That's so cool that he can give a high five and play cars with you!

David is doing well in 7th grade. He's been playing football and doesn't even care that it's the "B" team or that he doesn't start. He gets some playing time and that's enough for him. I even saw him trash-talking his defender during the last game. Ha!

He still has no friends and says kids make fun of him, but he says it's better than 6th grade. He's happy and likes school, so no complaints so far.

Charlie003

You guys should be given medals. I know families with autistic children. It is a lot of work and sacrifice.

daughterofthesea

Hi everyone!

I'm 26 years old and could really use some support. Maybe I'll find someone on here that's going through the same issues.

My son is 15 months old and he's been seeing Early Intervention because he isn't speaking yet. The woman we've been seeing had a meeting with me last night and told me she's seeing "red flags" for autism.

I'm at a loss and don't know what to do. I feel like my world is crumbling down around me and could really use some support. Are there other moms out there that can shed some light/hope?

Also - what are everyone's thoughts on diagnosis? Doesn't 15 months old seem a little early to be even suggesting autism?

The youngest I've heard of autism being diagnosed is 18 months so I wouldn't panic just yet. However I would check for the following:

- Does he make eye contact?
- Does he enjoy cuddles and affection?
- Does he do repetitive activities such as putting things in the same order repeatedly?

I'm not qualified in any field but I have Asperger Syndrome and am writing my dissertation on autism and music therapy for my final year of university.

Best of luck honey

perfectingpatti

You guys should be given medals. I know families with autistic children. It is a lot of work and sacrifice.

Thank you. It's not always easy, but I've learned so much about life through David's eyes.

dolly3186

That's so cool that he can give a high five and play cars with you!

David is doing well in 7th grade. He's been playing football and doesn't even care that it's the "B" team or that he doesn't start. He gets some playing time and that's enough for him. I even saw him trash-talking his defender during the last game. Ha!

He still has no friends and says kids make fun of him, but he says it's better than 6th grade. He's happy and likes school, so no complaints so far.

Haha, trash talking! That's too funny!! I hope my son talks one day. He is still so young, but to not hear your baby babble or say "mama" or "dada"...oh, gosh, it breaks my heart.

That's what I'm so scared of. I don't want my son picked on in school...(even though it is a long time away still.) Kids can be so cruel.

However, I did come across an awesome article online. I think it was somewhere in Colorado, (not positive) where just recently an autistic teenage boy was named prom king. It was really sweet, kind of made me tear up. This teenager had so many friends in high school and was well loved by everyone. I'm not sure the exact link, just google "autistic boy homecoming king" or something like that. I highly recommend it. I hope my son gets treated so well when he's in school.

dolly3186

The youngest I've heard of autism being diagnosed is 18 months so I wouldn't panic just yet. However I would check for the following:

- Does he make eye contact?
- Does he enjoy cuddles and affection?
- Does he do repetitive activities such as putting things in the same order repeatedly?

I'm not qualified in any field but I have Asperger Syndrome and am writing my dissertation on autism and music therapy for my final year of university.

Best of luck honey

That's so cool that you're writing your dissertation on autism and music therapy! How great!! My son does make eye contact with me and that's about it. He only seems to make consistent eye contact with myself and his father. It's like he could care less when other people come into a room or try to interact with him. He LOVES cuddles though, so that's good. He doesn't line things up, but he does this scratching thing with almost everything...especially strings. He loves strings! And leaves...he will just happily walk around clutching a leaf or a string in his hand and scratching it with his fingers. It looks odd to others, but it makes him so happy I just let him do it. I wonder if that's bad or not? Should i be trying to get him away from doing that? I don't know...

Music therapy though...that's interesting. I noticed that when I sing silly songs to my son or he hears any music at all he gets very excited. He absolutely loves music. He actually makes the best eye contact with me when I'm singing to him. He just smiles and laughs and enjoys it.

RunningDirty

My little guy has AS and we started intervention when he turned three. We first started through the county's early intervention program and then I went private through insurance. Both sides have their benefits. By facing those developmental 'flags' many mentioned here as early as possible, you will be amazed at the progress you will see in your child. I now see AS as a gift, where before I used to fight the diagnosis as much as possible. It's a scary road going through this with your child and developmental issues can change so much through the toddler years it feels like a roller coaster that's never going to end.

There are some great resources mentioned here and I can also suggest trusting your mommy instinct! If something doesn't seem right about the diagnosis, push harder for more opinions. I had three different teams all come to the same conclusion before I was satisfied we were on the right path. I'm also a little stubborn though.

Best of luck to you and your child. :flowerforyou:

MaryRegs

My youngest is an Aspie, and was diagnosed at age 5. We put an IEP in place starting in first grade...and he is now a freshman in high school. There is alot of information out there-and I echo everyone who has encourage you to educate yourself. Autism Speaks is a wonderful resource, and has a kit designed for families who have just received a diagnosis. You can do this-we have been there..and still are. My boy is perfect just as he is....

jogo8995

Hi everyone!

I'm 26 years old and could really use some support. Maybe I'll find someone on here that's going through the same issues.

My son is 15 months old and he's been seeing Early Intervention because he isn't speaking yet. The woman we've been seeing had a meeting with me last night and told me she's seeing "red flags" for autism.

I'm at a loss and don't know what to do. I feel like my world is crumbling down around me and could really use some support. Are there other moms out there that can shed some light/hope?

Also - what are everyone's thoughts on diagnosis? Doesn't 15 months old seem a little early to be even suggesting autism?

maab_connor

keep in mind that Autism is a spectrum. and that the diagnosis does NOT mean he won't have a happy, fulfilling life.

http://www.amazon.com/Autism-Spectrum-Disorders-Understanding-Developmental/dp/0399530479/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1349977837&sr=1-1&keywords=autism+spectrum+disorders

i reccomend that one, as it deals with the whole spectrum.

if he IS on the spectrum, it's invaluable to know WHERE b/c then you can start early working w/ a behavioral development specailist. the earlier this is caught, the earlier you can start teaching him in HIS way and the more he will be able to retain.

baptiste565

my son is 2 and nowhere near talking. he is receiving early intervention.

kathim429

Hi, Obviously I am not a mom but my son is 7.5 yrs old and is high functioning autistic. He is very stubborn and will not try many foods. Normally he eats junk. I was wondering if anyone here has any experience getting their child to: 1. Eat and 2. Eat something more than nutella.

Thanks

Our son used to only want to eat Cheerios, chicken nuggets, milk, and pasta (preferably mac and cheese). I found out later that seriously picky eating (called self-limiting) is very likely to indicate an allergy to those very foods they are limiting themselves to. In your case, depending on what his self-limiting foods are, he may benefit from a gluten free/casein free diet.

By the way, now one of his favorite meals is actually salmon with broccoli and rice.

Also, for anyone interested in exploring diet changes, there is an absolutely excellent book by Karen Seroussi, called Unraveling the Mystery of Autism and Pervasive Developmental Disorder: A Mother's Story of Research & Recovery.

Thank you for the book suggestion! My son falls somewhere in the Spectrum, the doctor is leaning toward PDD. I will have to check it out.

My son LOVES to help in the kitchen and loves to cook. However, if a food does not smell right to him (even if he tasted it and/or cooked it and liked it) he will not eat it.

SusieGirlRN

OK ~ didn't have time to read all of these posts, but will. Just want to say that it has been said that:

If you know One child with autism, then you know One child with autism.

The spectrum is so wide & the symptoms vary so greatly, but we can all support each other because of the common bond, the joy the children bring to our lives & of course the difficulties.

Take each day, or moment at a time & learn the needs of your child.

This works with autism, or not.

My son is 9 y/o & has a long string of DX: Autism / Tourettes / Mood Disorder NOS, he is somewhere on the spectrum is what they say.

Some days may be more challenging than others, but tap into those resources & perhaps one day you will find that you don't need them. You will be grateful they are there when you do :flowerforyou:

pixelberry

Both of my now 5-year-old fraternal twin sons were diagnosed as being on the ASD spectrum when they were 18 months old, however, the one I suspected there was something wrong at 12 months.

The one twin with the more severe ASD also has texture sensitivities so I could never try the GAPS diet on him. In fact, I'm still having problems with his food sensitivities and have been considering employing an occupational therapist on top of his ABA therapy. He's also in an ABA kindergarten class.

The other twin, once he started talking, has yet to stop. There are still a few issues with him (no problems with the eating like his brother), but he's now to the point he's in a generalized kindergarten class with "normal" kids and he's functioning well.

My state school sponsored system offered the "Hanen: More Than Words" workshop while they were both in early intervention. You can also pick up the book on Amazon -- this helped both kids IMMENSELY with their speaking. The sooner you get help for your kid with whatever delayed learning disability, the better off they'll be in the long run.

Best of luck to you!

dolly3186

Thanks for the book recommendations everyone! I'm becoming so educated on this subject, I could build a library with all the books I have.

Also, can anyone shed some light on their children with speaking? That's my main concern for my son. He doesn't even babble and he's going to be 18 months old next month. He laughs and squeals when he's happy, and when he's running around he makes the "Uhhhh" noise, but that's it. No other sounds or vocalization at all.

I've heard stories of children just starting to talk randomly one day. Anyone have any experience with that? I'm sooo praying one day for my son to say "mommy" to me.

SarahCW1979

^^ Thank you for the above post ^^ It's really encouraging to read as it gives me hope that one day my son will have what you have. Thank you again!

No problem. I know my mother would have greatly valued this kind of story when she was struggling with me 20 years ago, as there wasn't much info about it at all in the early 1990s. I was hell to raise too. The Ritalin did NOT help. So if they try giving your child ADHD meds, you may wanna skip that. Made me really aggressive.

This happened to my son, he was diagnosed with Autism at 3 years old, when he was 6 they decided to try him on Ritalin, it made his already explosive temper absolutely VOLCANIC!

To the OP, I knew when my son was 9 months old that there was something amiss. Both of my older brothers are autistic so I guess I just saw the signs. Although he made eye contact and smiled he preferred to be left alone on the floor by himself. He slept through the night from 4 weeks and needed very little attention (there we were thinking we had a really 'easy' baby!) I agree with the other posters, an early diagnosis is best. Dont worry too much for now, enjoy him still being a toddler. Some days will be challenging but I like to look at it as getting the best of both worlds! Just remember, special kids get given special mommies for a reason :flowerforyou:

jogo8995

You forgot to mention the part that it felt just like they kicked you in the stomach when they said the word autism. That was my story exactly. There is tremendous hope! My son is 17 years old in 11th grade in regular high school getting A's and B's.Over the years, I tried to avoid labels but accept ALL help that was offered. My son qualified for special preschool through the public school. I put my pride aside and took the help. We did speech therapy at home. We paid a professional once a week and I watched what she did and repeated it each day with my son until she came the next week. We were blessed with wonderful teachers over the years that worked closely with me to make modifications and find what would WORK for my son. You are the best advocate for your son.My son taught me to appreciate and celebrate the little successes in life, the ones that are so easy to take for granted. There is a lot more help out there these days. We never did get a diagnosis. (probably Aspergers or somewhere on the spectrum)We just worked on whatever was the biggest problem at hand and made it as manageable as possible. There is tremendous hope!

Angie_1991

I don't not have an Autistic child, but would love to help give support......

dolly3186

You forgot to mention the part that it felt just like they kicked you in the stomach when they said the word autism. That was my story exactly. There is tremendous hope! My son is 17 years old in 11th grade in regular high school getting A's and B's.Over the years, I tried to avoid labels but accept ALL help that was offered. My son qualified for special preschool through the public school. I put my pride aside and took the help. We did speech therapy at home. We paid a professional once a week and I watched what she did and repeated it each day with my son until she came the next week. We were blessed with wonderful teachers over the years that worked closely with me to make modifications and find what would WORK for my son. You are the best advocate for your son.My son taught me to appreciate and celebrate the little successes in life, the ones that are so easy to take for granted. There is a lot more help out there these days. We never did get a diagnosis. (probably Aspergers or somewhere on the spectrum)We just worked on whatever was the biggest problem at hand and made it as manageable as possible. There is tremendous hope!

Oh, my gosh, when I heard the word autism from someone else I felt like I was literally dying. It's like the whole world stopped moving for what seemed like forever. I just...sat there. And stared at this woman who was saying this to me. I will never forget that moment for as long as I live. I swear the air went out of the room.

perfectingpatti

What do y'all think of the DSM wanting to do away with the diagnosis of AS and PDD? I know the aspie community is very upset about it.

Justa_Paperbag

My son was diagnosed at 14 months. Typically, they don't diagnose that early, but my step-son is also on the spectrum and because my son has a half sibling with ASD, they were able to diagnose him that early. Most places don't give a formal diagnosis until 2 or 3, I believe. My son just turned 3 last week, and is a different child. We still have struggles, but everyone is amazed at how far he's come.

For what it's worth, most EI doesn't start for speech until 18 months, so you're fortunate to have him in early there, too. The earlier the better, for all EI therapies, is my personal opinion.

The word autism is a kick in the gut, because it's so misunderstood. And I'll be honest - it's hard. Some days, it sucks. I have a beautiful, happy, sweet, funny, silly, smart little boy who happens to be autistic - it's part of who he is, but doesn't define him as WHO he is.

Some of the things you mentioned sound sensory in nature to me. A lot of times, there are sensory issues that go along with autism that are also red flags, but sensory processing disorder can also be a stand alone diagnosis - have you ever done any reading into that? The Out of Sync Child is a great book to gain some insight.

Also, has he been tested for any kinds of food intolerance? There's a lot of research on the "autism diet" which is gluten and casein free. Not all kids on the spectrum have an intolerance, and my own son is only intolerant to casein, but he had a language surge after eliminating all of the casein in his diet. I'm not saying that removing something will make your son suddenly more verbal, but it might be something to at least research if there are any bowel problems.

It's overwhelming and can feel isolating and scary. I understand all of that, trust me, I do. At the end of the day, just know that giving your son the help he needs, regardless of what that might be, is worth it. You're a good mom.

prjoy98

My step son is a 10yr old Aspie with Anxiety but his mom has done nothing to help him be self sufficient. My husband and I are trying to do everything within our reach to help him succeed but when we only have him every other weekend it is a bit difficult. I am currently at work but will definitely be coming back to read and engage in the conversation later tonight.

AmyOwensJackson

I'm struggling with some of the same things. My daughter is 34 months and she has delayed speech. She was diagnosed with speech delay in March but I already knew it. She started talking right on track, she just didn't pick up on new words as fast. She tends to learn them use them constantly for a few days or weeks and then won't use them at all. She has yet to put together a two word sentence, other than to repeat "That's you" when she points at pictures of herself. She picked that up because she would point at pictures and we would tell her who they were. When it was her, we would say, "That's you." She won't use words to communicate at all unless we remind her. She'll point and grunt or scream and I'll prompt her with "do you want the book?" and she'll say, "book". Repetition is her key. There are days that I read the same book 100+ times. Because that's what she wants and eventually she will try to say some of the words along with me. We are working with baby sign language videos and she enjoys them and will sign. But, I have to remind her to sign as well as use her words. Unless it's "more" she'll sign that almost anytime she wants more without prompting. We have pictures of different foods taped all over the front of our refrigerator and encourage her to point at things she wants. That helped to start with quite a bit with her frustration and with ours. Now she just opens the door and grabs what she wants. Which doesn't help MY frustration one bit but fixed hers completely.

The speech delay is frustrating and worries me constantly, but the worst part is the tantrums. She throws violent tantrums when she is frustrated. She'll bang her head into the wall or whatever else is handy. She's broken her crib. I've had numerous busted lips and 1 black eye from trying to keep her from hurting herself.

I guess my point is... you are not alone... don't feel alone. Just take things one day at a time. So many people have asked me if she's been tested or ask what the doctor said. He told me she would grow out of it...the tantrums that is. I'm working with her daily and she is improving on speech. They did not recommend early intervention for her, yet. They are going to re-evaluate when she turns three. I guess we'll see. The tantrums, speech delay and she does flap her hands but only when she's excited.. are the symptoms that she has. I am stuck in the wait and see phase. Right now they don't believe she's on the spectrum but they honestly aren't sure. She's up to around 175 words.. if only she would use them.

Justa_Paperbag

I was thinking too, and your speech therapist might be doing something like this, but visuals were really helpful for my son (and my daughter, who had problems with her speech). We'd laminate pictures of things and put velcro on the backs, then we had a board where they could choose what they wanted. We had a picture of the sign "I want" and then the picture of the food/snack/drink. It really helped us out a lot. We also had binky and lovey and bottle on my son's, as well as books, and favorite toys and tv characters (we gave him the choices, so it wasn't like he was calling all the shots, lol). We would sign "I want" while saying "I want" and then if I knew the sign for the food, I'd sign that, too. When I had signed to me, "I want more fish crackers, please" to me one day for the first time, instead of using the picture choices, it was the same amount of emotion that I felt when I had words spoken to me. It gave him a voice - and it helped tremendously.

Justa_Paperbag

So many people have asked me if she's been tested or ask what the doctor said. He told me she would grow out of it...the tantrums that is. I'm working with her daily and she is improving on speech. They did not recommend early intervention for her, yet. They are going to re-evaluate when she turns three. I guess we'll see. The tantrums, speech delay and she does flap her hands but only when she's excited.. are the symptoms that she has. I am stuck in the wait and see phase. Right now they don't believe she's on the spectrum but they honestly aren't sure. She's up to around 175 words.. if only she would use them.

My best advice as someone who KNEW something was off with my child, but was brushed off by our pediatrician is to get another opinion. You're mom, and you know best - if your gut is saying something is up, then pursue it. My son throws horrendous tantrums (and has hurt himself numerous times - it's awful, isn't it? Knowing they're upset about something so much and you don't know WHAT). A lot of what you're describing sounds sensory to me - hand-flapping, head-banging, and all. A lot of doctors don't understand sensory issues because it's not yet outlined in the DSM (in the next revision, I believe it will be). I'm not a sensory pusher, honest, even though it might seem that way from my comments, it's just that having gone through it with my own child, I know I didn't know anything about it and had never heard of it before, and I find so many people with kids who have sensory issues that can be worked through and can be life-changing. If you don't know about them, I recommend The Out of Sync child, or even just googling sensory processing disorder. It's really helped us tremendously to address sensory issues - his tantrums have decreased, and we're more aware of what he needs and how to help him. It also helped us to see more speech and to have him USE his words (which we knew he HAD, he just wasn't using).