Motivation and mixed feelings

LittleSister

There's a chance I might be able to get home to see my family this Christmas. They live about 2,000 miles away. Right now, we're not in a position for all 3 of us to fly (husband, daughter, myself) so my husband suggested just my daughter & I go. My family is very happy.

My sister (who is registered here as Big Sister but hasn't hit the message boards yet) said let's each try to lose 10 pounds before my visit. I said yes, let's try that. The last time my family saw me was just this past summer, and my sister said it was apparent that I was in a lot of pain and in not the best health.

I was really hoping that I'd weigh a lot less before I went home again. I know that sounds ridiculous - this is no reason not to go. And I AM going to go. It's just that this past summer, I figured I wasn't going to see my family for another year and a half, and I sort of fantasized about how surprised & pleased they'd be to see a fitter & healthier me. I have a lot of fit people in my family for some reason.

I actually have my caloric allotment set up to allow for a 2.5 loss each month, which means I might be down by 5 pounds by then, not 10. Of course, if I keep walking every day, and getting more fit, it might end up being more than that, esp if I adjust the allotment to not eat those extra calories burned . . .

I need to start another post about how hungry I am on what seems to be a lot of calories.

Thanks for letting me ramble. I'm very excited about going

34at35

I know what you mean. I saw family last Thanksgving - only a couple of weeks after I started my weight loss journey. I told no one what I was doing. I wasn't sure I could succeed. The only one who knew was my wife and she helped by making an additional apple pie that I could eat a piece of made with splenda instead of sugar. She told everyone about it saying that it was an experiment for the benefit of our daughter-in-law, who's a Type I diabetic who would be coming for a visit after Christmas. I think her and I and her cousin who's a Type II diabetic were the only ones who ate it of the 25-30 people there for Thanksgiving dinner.

So, my suggestion is: Don't tell anyone! Keep it a secret that you can save until the next time you see them. Seeing the surprised looks on their faces and the conversations you'll have with them is worth it!
I was able to enjoy that this summer when we all got together again for a wedding (where the photo of my wife and I was taken).

:devil: :devil:

Ahmee2034

You know, LittleSister, I have to say, you are a wonderful spirit. I can actually feel your apprehension from your words. I know you have heard this before but it bears repeating so here it goes. You have to lose the weight for YOURSELF FIRST...not your family. Yes, your family only wants what is best for you, they always do. I have a rather large family who has, in the past few years, dwindled down to only 5 people left. Both my parents died a few years ago only nine months apart from cancer. My mother had diabetes and my sister has diabetes. We were never a close family. Everyone in my family was and is overweight. We live in the southern most part of Louisiana. Food here is a way of life, not a way to live. It has been especially hard these past months for me. I'v lost about 43 pounds and put back on about 10. My son was involved in an auto accident on Easter day this year and broke his neck. The only thing that held his neck to his body was his spinal cord. God has truly blessed us. He will make a full recovery.

Anyway, my point is this. You seem very close to your family. If you show up there and you have lost the five pounds then CELEBRATE THOSE FIVE POUNDS! It sounds like your family is trying to be supportive. If they are fit as you say, then it may just be hard for them to understand why it can be difficult to lose the weight. This isn't a race. You can only do what you can do and wake up each morning and face the day and thank God for your family and the opportunity He has given you to share another day with them, fat or not. Let that love for that "another day" feeling motivate you. Not what you perceive your family will think. They love you for who you are. If they see that you are truly trying and dedicated to living a healthy life, they should understand that it is a slow process and that you are well on your way to being healthy. Never lose site of what is important. LIFE!

You have touched my heart. You have motivated me. You have forced me to face the truth about myself. I have a great life. I am very blessed. What I do with that blessing is all on me. I have to take care of me so I can be there to live that wonderful life God gave me. You should do the same.

arewethereyet

Oh please go, enjoy the holidays with your family. I have missed many a party 'waiting' to be a size 6 or lose 10 pounds or be able to walk a mile. 48 years old now and wish I had those days back.

So why dont you set a goal for yourself. Let's say....walk 1 mile a day until you go away. You will feel so good about yourself that you will feel a thousand pounds lighter!

:flowerforyou:

arewethereyet

Oh please go, enjoy the holidays with your family. I have missed many a party 'waiting' to be a size 6 or lose 10 pounds or be able to walk a mile. 48 years old now and wish I had those days back.

So why dont you set a goal for yourself. Let's say....walk 1 mile a day until you go away. You will feel so good about yourself that you will feel a thousand pounds lighter!

:flowerforyou:

Oh and my energy level went straight through the roof after 1 month of regular exercise. When you feel good, you look good............PROMISE!!:flowerforyou:

LittleSister

Thank you, all of you, for your kind and insightful replies!

34at35: What a sweet wife you have! And what a clever idea to not tell anyone - I think I'll do just that. I'm sure I'll be more energetic than when they saw me this summer, but let them draw their own conclusions, and then they'll be amazed when I see them again in a couple of years.

And Ahmee: Your post made my eyes moisten. You are so right - every day is a gift from God, every family member is a blessing. You are right - they do love me for who I am. They want me to be healthy, but they don't care how much I weigh. You certainly have gone through hell and back (and then to hell and back and then to hell and back) enough times to know of what you speak. You are a very strong, wise person. Thank you.

arewethereyet: Thank you for helping me to remember why I'm doing this! And you're right - when you feel more energetic, other things seem to fall into place too. I'm not ready to walk a mile yet - I only gave up my cane last week! But I can certain keep up with the walks I've been taking, and hopefully build on those.