Comfort Eating...
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horsemadami
Posts: 17
So was doing really well, then my cat died, and everything fell apart.
I had my cat, Tabbi, for nearly 17 years, from 8 weeks old, and she was my little girl, my baby, my friend through thick and thin. She died 2 weeks off her 17th birthday, and it really hit me hard. I came home from work, and thought she had already died, but she moved slightly and I realised she was still with me at that point. I wrapped her in a blanket and rocked her until she was gone. I was devastated.
I found all my motivation in just about everything had disappeared, apart from food.....so yes I ate, and ate, and ate, and yes all the wrong things.....Did it make me happy? (or happier?) No..... Did it make things easier? ... No....
So now a few months have passed and yes I am managing my grief better, but still not got to grips with my comfort eating. I just seemed to have lost all good judgement about what to eat, so really feeling like I am starting from scratch again, and the enormity of the task ahead is just daunting me.
So now I need to start re-focusing on goals.... I am restarting my diet profile, so I have not got such a big task (68 pounds to lose! if not a little more!) so am going to break it down so I can focus on a smaller goal..... So am going to set my goal as 20 pounds, so target is to lose 1 pound a week so 20 weeks to lose 20 pounds seems achievable.
My main goal, is that in just over a year I can start looking for a horse, my all time dream.
Exercise..... get back to my Zumba (wii), get on my wii fit plus, and come the start of the new school year.... lots of walking as my eldests new school is in the next village, so no driving unless the weather is bad!
Positives..... Focus on the positives .... I have two beautiful boys and a lovely husband, and 2 lovely dogs....a job that I like for a very lovely company, and my husband has just set up his own business with 2 friends.... so focus on all these good things.
So here we go again, refocused....and goal set ... 20 pounds to go, I can do this, I must do this!
I had my cat, Tabbi, for nearly 17 years, from 8 weeks old, and she was my little girl, my baby, my friend through thick and thin. She died 2 weeks off her 17th birthday, and it really hit me hard. I came home from work, and thought she had already died, but she moved slightly and I realised she was still with me at that point. I wrapped her in a blanket and rocked her until she was gone. I was devastated.
I found all my motivation in just about everything had disappeared, apart from food.....so yes I ate, and ate, and ate, and yes all the wrong things.....Did it make me happy? (or happier?) No..... Did it make things easier? ... No....
So now a few months have passed and yes I am managing my grief better, but still not got to grips with my comfort eating. I just seemed to have lost all good judgement about what to eat, so really feeling like I am starting from scratch again, and the enormity of the task ahead is just daunting me.
So now I need to start re-focusing on goals.... I am restarting my diet profile, so I have not got such a big task (68 pounds to lose! if not a little more!) so am going to break it down so I can focus on a smaller goal..... So am going to set my goal as 20 pounds, so target is to lose 1 pound a week so 20 weeks to lose 20 pounds seems achievable.
My main goal, is that in just over a year I can start looking for a horse, my all time dream.
Exercise..... get back to my Zumba (wii), get on my wii fit plus, and come the start of the new school year.... lots of walking as my eldests new school is in the next village, so no driving unless the weather is bad!
Positives..... Focus on the positives .... I have two beautiful boys and a lovely husband, and 2 lovely dogs....a job that I like for a very lovely company, and my husband has just set up his own business with 2 friends.... so focus on all these good things.
So here we go again, refocused....and goal set ... 20 pounds to go, I can do this, I must do this!
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Replies
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I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. 17 years is a really long time. Give yourself some slack and some time to heal.
Good luck!0 -
what helped with comfort eating with me is to plan all my meals for a week and then do groceries and don't buy anything more than what you need according to your plan. If you don't have it in the house, you can't eat it.
And then find something else to comfort you, like doing something fun or taking a nice bath or something.0 -
Thanks elisabat
Good idea Ichdrasil, will have to defo give that a try 0 -
I am so sorry to hear about your cat. I really can empathize with how you are feeling. I lost my 2 year old cat, Snickers, to cancer last october. I know i didn't have him for as long as you had your baby but he was my special boy. I was devastated, sad, lonely, and the sinking heartbreak i felt almost seemed unbearable. I adopted him on valentines day, along with his cage mate, and it was the best valentines I had ever received.
When Snickers was diagnosed I was heart broken. And, at the time of us finding out what was wrong, he was already suffering. I had him put to sleep, and I held him as the angels carried him Home. Many of my friends asked how I could do that- that they couldn't be in the room for that. i wondered how anyone could not. He was there for me, day in and out for a year and a half- I would never leave him alone when he needed me the most.
He was the coolest cat ever. He was like a dog. he followed me from room to room. He even would stand inbetween the shower curtains when I showered, and just wait for me to be done. I loved him so much- still do.
My point in all of this- is that it will get better. I still miss him, and I still cry sometimes but I hold tight to the thought that one day, when it's my time to go Home, I will see him again. And when that day comes, I will never have to say goodbye to him again. And that I will have eternity to show him the love he should have always had. He had a hard life until I adopted him from a rescue- and I like to think that his last days on Earth he learned what is was like to have a family.
Your little girl was lucky to have had you from 8 weeks of life to the very end.
It's hard to stay on track when you're sad. I think starting with small goals is a great idea. You will get your grove back. I hope things are better for you0 -
Sorry to hear about your cat. I've lost two of mine in the past year. It's absolutely devastating. Cut yourself some slack for all of the comfort eating, and stick with your plan starting now.0
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I am so sorry to hear about your cat. I really can empathize with how you are feeling. I lost my 2 year old cat, Snickers, to cancer last october. I know i didn't have him for as long as you had your baby but he was my special boy. I was devastated, sad, lonely, and the sinking heartbreak i felt almost seemed unbearable. I adopted him on valentines day, along with his cage mate, and it was the best valentines I had ever received.
When Snickers was diagnosed I was heart broken. And, at the time of us finding out what was wrong, he was already suffering. I had him put to sleep, and I held him as the angels carried him Home. Many of my friends asked how I could do that- that they couldn't be in the room for that. i wondered how anyone could not. He was there for me, day in and out for a year and a half- I would never leave him alone when he needed me the most.
He was the coolest cat ever. He was like a dog. he followed me from room to room. He even would stand inbetween the shower curtains when I showered, and just wait for me to be done. I loved him so much- still do.
My point in all of this- is that it will get better. I still miss him, and I still cry sometimes but I hold tight to the thought that one day, when it's my time to go Home, I will see him again. And when that day comes, I will never have to say goodbye to him again. And that I will have eternity to show him the love he should have always had. He had a hard life until I adopted him from a rescue- and I like to think that his last days on Earth he learned what is was like to have a family.
Your little girl was lucky to have had you from 8 weeks of life to the very end.
It's hard to stay on track when you're sad. I think starting with small goals is a great idea. You will get your grove back. I hope things are better for you
I too could not imagine not being with my girl when she needed me the most. Your post made me cry. I am so sorry for your loss.
To the OP: I am sorry for you loss. I know it must be hard. I can't imagine loosing my girl and I have only had her three years. I am sure it will get easier. Take it one day at a time and don't loose hope.0 -
I feel for you, my wife and I have no kids and our pets are our kids. 17 years is a nice long life for a cat and he/she was lucky to have you as an owner...You know your kitty wouldn't want you to lose all that hard work you've done and would want you to continue with your goals. You can do this and you can dedicate this hard work to your kitty. Good luck and keep u s informed...Jerry0
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So sorry for the loss of your cat. Losing a pet is so incredibly hard. Sounds like you're getting yourself back on track. Hang in there!0
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So sorry to hear about your cat. I had a sweet dog that helped me through my troubled teenaged years die suddenly when I was in the hospital. I think breaking down your goal is a GREAT idea and 1lb per week is very doable. Good luck and Im glad your back on track.0
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I don't wanna sound insensitive...but maybe you could get another cat? Or a hamster. Or something.0
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I am very sorry for your loss. I lost Spurgo to cancer when he was 8 years old and it was such a devastating experience!
Pets are like members of the family and often you end up feeling very lonely if you can't share your pain with any other pet owner - other people just won't really understand.
About comfort eating, well, you are aware of it, recognise the problem and are willing to fight it, so I'd say you are already doing very great.
Keep fighting and dedicate all your victories to your beloved cat.0 -
My brother in law was very sick for 6 months and then died at the beginning of July, 2 days before his 38th birthday. I spent about 3 months indulging in candy, chocolate, and baked goods. 2 weeks ago I made a grocery list:
Chobani
Lemon Juice
Food
Apple Juice
NO M&M'S
This has been in my kitchen for 2 weeks as a reminder that if I don't bring it into the house and make it an effort to get my hands on it I won't eat it. When I do eat it I have to think about what I'm doing and do it thoughtfully. Whatever it is that you're using to make you feel better about your cat, just don't let it pass the threshold.0 -
Sorry about your loss - i know how it is, our pets become our babies. She waited for you to come home so she could say goodbye. Take care of yourself and allow yourself time to grieve without heaping on any guilt. She was your precious baby and you need to grieve for her0
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my oldest cat April 6th. He was 14. He was my first child, I love him so. I'm just recently, finally getting back on track. Give yourself a break, there is no set time frame for grief. What I started doing was before I would put the "comfort" food in my mouth, I would ask myself, am I hungry or just feeling sad. Well, when the answer was sad, I would let myself cry. Let it out. You can get back to it. Just believe in yourself :flowerforyou:0
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I had him put to sleep, and I held him as the angels carried him Home. Many of my friends asked how I could do that- that they couldn't be in the room for that. i wondered how anyone could not. He was there for me, day in and out for a year and a half- I would never leave him alone when he needed me the most.
We lost one of our dogs, Pip, to cancer on the 29th May this year, about 3 weeks before his 8th birthday. I held him as the vet helped him cross to The Ranbow Bridge, the third of our dogs I've done it with; my husband couldn't face it but I couldn't leave them alone at such a time. I understand completely the pain and grief that you are suffering, and my heart goes out to you... I still cry for Pip and probably will shed tears over all my lost pets for the rest of my life for they have been like children to me.
The yearning to hold them again never leaves you, but the anguish does fade with time. Allow yourself time to grieve as you would a human friend, companion, or family member who has passed, and one day you will be able to think of them with a smile instead of heartache
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I'm a massive emotional eater, I find myself heading for the phone for a takeaway whenever I'm upset, and other days it will be a struggle to eat anything at all. My nan died a couple of months ago, and it hurt me, and it hurt my mum loads, which made me even more upset because she's been a single parent.
I actually managed to get myself into such a state, my intestine swelled up and stopped working (had to have an endoscopy) and I lost 10kg through my body completely giving up. I put 8kg back on, but I'd like to fall back to that weight healthily. It's taken a while to get back to the point where I'm at now, it still hurts, I've never had a pet for that long but I've lost a lot of close family over the years. It gets easier every day, the things that are painful reminders become more pleasant memories. When you reach the point where you feel you're at rock bottom of grief (because you're grieving) you have to make the best of yourself because YOU ARE ALIVE, and anyone be it human and pet wouldn't want you to be damaging your health over it.
It's an awful feeling but it gets better, promise! xxSo was doing really well, then my cat died, and everything fell apart.
I had my cat, Tabbi, for nearly 17 years, from 8 weeks old, and she was my little girl, my baby, my friend through thick and thin. She died 2 weeks off her 17th birthday, and it really hit me hard. I came home from work, and thought she had already died, but she moved slightly and I realised she was still with me at that point. I wrapped her in a blanket and rocked her until she was gone. I was devastated.
I found all my motivation in just about everything had disappeared, apart from food.....so yes I ate, and ate, and ate, and yes all the wrong things.....Did it make me happy? (or happier?) No..... Did it make things easier? ... No....
So now a few months have passed and yes I am managing my grief better, but still not got to grips with my comfort eating. I just seemed to have lost all good judgement about what to eat, so really feeling like I am starting from scratch again, and the enormity of the task ahead is just daunting me.
So now I need to start re-focusing on goals.... I am restarting my diet profile, so I have not got such a big task (68 pounds to lose! if not a little more!) so am going to break it down so I can focus on a smaller goal..... So am going to set my goal as 20 pounds, so target is to lose 1 pound a week so 20 weeks to lose 20 pounds seems achievable.
My main goal, is that in just over a year I can start looking for a horse, my all time dream.
Exercise..... get back to my Zumba (wii), get on my wii fit plus, and come the start of the new school year.... lots of walking as my eldests new school is in the next village, so no driving unless the weather is bad!
Positives..... Focus on the positives .... I have two beautiful boys and a lovely husband, and 2 lovely dogs....a job that I like for a very lovely company, and my husband has just set up his own business with 2 friends.... so focus on all these good things.
So here we go again, refocused....and goal set ... 20 pounds to go, I can do this, I must do this!0 -
I am really sorry about your loss, I know it's a tough issue to come to terms with. But just be happy for the long years you had with him and know that time is circular not linear so he is not gone forever as long as you remember the good times.
I have trouble with comfort eating sometimes as well, it feels like theres no point in trying to get back on track again because you've messed up and it's hard to start over.
Just remember that it is experiences like this that shape us into who we are and who we will become. There is no shame in falling off the wagon, everyone makes mistakes..it is how we choose to overcome these mistakes and learn from them that makes us winners and it is NEVER too late to get back on track.
You're already on the road to recovery by setting positive goals for yourself so just be strong and do it for yourself, your dreams and your family 0 -
Thank you all for your kind words, experiences and encouragement.
I am determined to get back to business, and have made a start today as my husband wanted to buy me a hot sausage roll for lunch and I declined .... not once, not twice but three times!!
My little girl left knowing I loved her very much as I kept telling her as I rocked her in my arms. And she will always be in my heart and thoughts, but I cannot focus on the sad I have to focus on the happy and good, and that's how I will remember her, with soo much love.
Thank you all again for your very kind words and support, it is very much appreciated.
Danni
xxxxxxx0 -
So sorry for your loss;-( Your hurting, You will get on track! Thoughts to you!0
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The wonderful thing about MFP is that it doesn't matter what difficulties you are experiencing, there will always be someone here who understands and knows how it can affect your dietary habits. You have made a brilliant start, and although there will be hurdles I'm sure, know that we're always here to lend a shoulder to cry on when necessary :flowerforyou:0
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