Lacking Self Control

jlorren

Im starting my journey today. Honestly, I have started so many other times I am tempted to be very negative.
I am trying very hard to stay positive, because I know half the battle is in my head.

I realize I seriously lack self control. If I crave it, I get it. I almost never tell myself "no".
How do I begin to change this horrible habit? It seems like such a steep mountain to climb.

leanne9876

Im starting my journey today. Honestly, I have started so many other times I am tempted to be very negative.
I am trying very hard to stay positive, because I know half the battle is in my head.

I realize I seriously lack self control. If I crave it, I get it. I almost never tell myself "no".
How do I begin to change this horrible habit? It seems like such a steep mountain to climb.

It can be very hard at first, I really rely on this site cause before MFP i'd just get anything I wanted aswell. I never told myself NO.
But after adding food to my diary and seeing how many calories and fat they have, I was really shocked. I know take away is bad but when you see the numbers it really makes you think.

Also another thing that has helped me is joining the gym and tracking my workout calories, I know how much I have to workout to burn off the food and now I don't even want to get any junk cause I don't want to un do all my hard work.

Jessamyfrm

Apparently it takes 21 days to get into a habit. Whether its eating healthily, exercising or just making small changes to yourself it's all gonna take time. Bare that in mind and don't be disappointed if you don't see results in a few days.

Honestly, when I first started I was EXACTLY like you. I started over many times, got disappointed and gave up.

But whatever reason this time I stuck with it (mostly thanks to this website and the support) and now exercising and planning my meals is the highlight of my days.

You didn't gain weight overnight so you're not gonna lose it overnight. It doesn't matter how long it takes you, you WILL reach your goals in the end and think how amazing you're gonna feel when you do.

bathsheba_c

I think weight loss for most people is psychological. For me, keeping a log makes the impact of giving into cravings very clear, so I am less likely to indulge.

A starting place for you might be to look into the nature of your cravings. Are you craving a specific kind of food? Do you crave foods at a certain time of day? Do the cravings come when you are bored/sad/angry? Realizing what causes the cravings could help you address the issue. It could be all sort of things, ranging from being deficient in a nutrient to needing to rearrange your eating schedule to emotional issues.

beachlover317

I really wish there was some magic way to keep yourself strong. But unfortunately there's not. If there was, we would all be healthy and at our goal weight. I will give you one piece of advice. I am 54. I, like you, tried many times over the last 25 years to do this. I didn't succeed because I didn't want it bad enough. That's all there is to it. You have to want it. You have to want it more than you want to eat. You have to want it even though your muscles are telling you to go sit on the couch. You have to keep reaching down inside and pulling the strength back out of yourself. No one can do it for you. No one can make you do it. It's all up to you. How bad do you want it??? It you do - this is a great place to start!

The best way to start is to begin logging all your food. THat was really eye opening for me. I was honest and it scared me sometimes. But do it. Every meal. Every day. When you get that under your belt, begin to find ways to make your food more healthy. The better you eat, the better you feed your body, the better you will feel. The better you feel, the more you will want to move and you can begin toning up your body.

I'm sending you a site that you need to check out today. It will help you determine how much you need to be feeding your body so that IT CAN LOSE the weight. If you restrict your calories too low - you will not lose. You body needs to know that you are going to give it the correct amount of fuel each day.

And about the steep mountain to climb? Where are you going to be on that mountain this time next year? You may still be at the foot. Or you could be at the half way point or really close to the top! It's all up to you.

Lastly, read the success stories on here. Every day you feel like you have too much to lose, read a story. Some people on here have lost 100, 200 and there is one man on here who has lost over 300 pounds. Read the stories. As you do, you will find other people that are in similar situations as you. Make friends. Find people to support and encourage. It will help you.

Best of luck to you. Here's the info: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12 :flowerforyou:

Tzigan

Practical tips:

Wait 10 minutes. If you really desperately must give in and eat that chocolate/have a second helping, don't tell yourself 'no' if you can't, but wait 10 minutes and then think about it again. Honestly, you might no longer want it. You might even forget you wanted it. If you still have to have it, don't think of it as failing and using that as an excuse to just binge out, but remind yourself you have made a decision and remember portion control!
This also works with exercise or anything you don't want to do - but in reverse. Tell yourself, "I can do anything for 10 minutes," and by the time you're outside having your walk or whatever, you probably will feel more inclined to carry on. And hey, even if you don't, you've done 10 minutes more than nothing!

Write a list of things that make you happy but are not food-related. Keep it somewhere visible. I tend to comfort and boredom eat a lot, but a look at this list reminds me that there are other more fun and more fulfilling options, and by replacing the food I want with something positive, it doesn't feel like I am saying no to myself

Best of luck!! Xx

puffidredz

Im starting my journey today. Honestly, I have started so many other times I am tempted to be very negative.
I am trying very hard to stay positive, because I know half the battle is in my head.

I realize I seriously lack self control. If I crave it, I get it. I almost never tell myself "no".
How do I begin to change this horrible habit? It seems like such a steep mountain to climb.

don't buy it in the first place ... then you can't eat it. not to sound mean but that's what i have come to do. make a well thought out HEALTHY grocery list. go to the grocery store and don't look at anything else. don't give yourself a chance to think; jus quickly grab what's on the list and keep it moving. once you get this in general practice, you won't even think of the bad stuff.

mfkn_Titanium

Just say no. That easy.

Okay, and for real - pre-plan your day. Focus on hitting your protein, then fat, and then let carbs fall where they may. MFP defaults are low for - for protein and calories - so do some reading on here about upping your calories.

rebeccap13

Also, I recommend reading the book "Brain Over Binge" if you have the chance. Very helpful read.

Pre-plan, don't buy binge triggering foods, don't shop when hungry, if you think you want to eat something log it first and see how it will impact your day.

You can totally do this. I have suffered from bingeging and purging off and on over the past few years. I have gone almost two months now without a true binge like I used to (easily consuming 2000 cals in one sitting) and haven't felt the need to purge even when I eat larger meals that make me feel full even though they're within my calories.

anthony438

Im starting my journey today. Honestly, I have started so many other times I am tempted to be very negative.
I am trying very hard to stay positive, because I know half the battle is in my head.

I realize I seriously lack self control. If I crave it, I get it. I almost never tell myself "no".
How do I begin to change this horrible habit? It seems like such a steep mountain to climb.

Just take the journey one day at a time.

Realize that you won't be perfect, and that's ok.

gshoemaker06

Im starting my journey today. Honestly, I have started so many other times I am tempted to be very negative.
I am trying very hard to stay positive, because I know half the battle is in my head.

I realize I seriously lack self control. If I crave it, I get it. I almost never tell myself "no".
How do I begin to change this horrible habit? It seems like such a steep mountain to climb.

I would recommend to start thinking about it as a way of life, not as a diet. One thing that has always worked for me is to have an 'off' day. I don't eat 'unhealthy' food during the week. And I give myself either Saturday or Sunday to eat some fries or some ice cream. That way if you have that craving during the week, you know you only have to wait a couple of days. Before long you start to not really care if you have that desert or not on your day off.

Just keep it mind it's not a whole 'day off'. You can't go crazy and eat crap all day, just one or two items.

fitmek

First of all, congrats to you for wanting to take your health into your own hands and make a difference for yourself!

I lack self control a lot as well! It helps me having friends that are on weight watchers, and friends who log all their foods. I like to have a serious buddy system when I try to be healthy. It makes it so much easier! This website helps a lot as well.

Another way I helped myself was reading Candace Cameron Bure's book, Reshaping It All. There are quotes and scriptures in her book that keep me going when all I want is a late night snack! I really reccomend it.

Just try not to overthink, use the site as motivation and support, find friends/husband/parents/siblings that could jump on board with you on your weight loss journey and make them stick to it!

Good luck!

ZugTheMegasaurus

I think that the idea that you just have to "tell yourself no" is the problem from the beginning. You are not telling yourself no; you are saying yes to something else. You just have to make yourself aware of it.

It's about weighing priorities. When people say "no" to eating sweets, it's not that they are simply good at dealing with deprivation, but rather that they are deciding that something else is more important. You have to focus on the "why" rather than the "what."

This is exactly what occurred to me when I started having success losing weight. Someone would offer me a cupcake and I would think, "How am I going to feel about that later? What effect is this sort of choice going to have in the long run?" When I stopped for a moment and thought of that, I suddenly didn't want it. It just didn't seem worth it. I knew that afterward, I'd have more negative than positive feelings about it, so I decided not to do that to myself.

Sometimes, I do think, "Yeah, I want that cupcake." And I'll eat it and feel good about it. Why? Because I'm honest with myself. I've weighed the options and picked that one out deliberately. I don't attach all sorts of meaning to it or feel guilty or see it as a "bad choice." It's just a different choice. I log the food and am done with it.

missmayeb

Congrats on taking the first step!!! Being healthy is a way of life, definitely but it is hard to change the current way you live. BUT remember CHANGE IS GOOD!!!!! First of all, start logging everything you eat on MFP, and I mean EVERYTHING. Even that small amount of chocolate, the few sips of soda, the one chicken nugget, etc. I actually started writing in a journal all of the little and big things I ate plus how I was feeling, the time I ate it, what I was doing at the time, and so on to get a real feel of why I was eating and what I was eating. Soon you start to realize why you want to eat instead of just craving a certain food.

For example, every day at 3 someone in the office would say COFFEE time. I would always say yes because 3 pm is my dragging time. So I switched from drinking a cup of coffee to drinking 8 oz of water and having a piece of fruit or a small square of dark chocolate. Still rich and sweet but much healthier option and I was getting my water in! Noticing how and why you eat is just as important as the food you put in your mouth. Another option for knocking out those cravings is to keep a toothbrush and tooth paste in your drawer at work or in your purse if you are out. Brush your teeth whenever you get those 10 am or 3 pm cravings. No one wants to eat right after brushing your teeth and that will give you time to think if you really want what you are craving.

It is a long journey so prepare yourself. It is difficult but rewarding at the same time. And trust me, everyone has an off day so don't beat yourself up over them but also don't let them be EVERY day either.

GOOD LUCK!!!

kubyshechka

Start by logging all your food without trying to diet. Log it for a week and then review your log. See what you can give up or cut down on. Maybe a bit less fatty or fried foods next week. Maybe one ice cream/muffin/bagel less next week. Just one serving less. It will not make a big change because you will be able to have it tomorrow, just not today. Then next week cut something else out.

Overeating is like an addiction. Some people can stop 'cold turkey', some need to take baby steps. Whatever works for you - you need to find your way. If you can't give up some things completely, start by cutting down.

One more thing . Do not think about MFP as a diet website, because it is NOT. If you don't expect to see the results right away - you will keep going.

As for me - when I started logging my food, I realized how much calories go to snacks, so I cut down on snacking. When I feel like a snack I am thinking 'How long before lunch or dinner? Will I starve if I don't have that snack? No. So I might just wait' I still snack but not as often as I used to.

Good luck.

rachelhohenbrink

Form one new habit at a time for 6-8 weeks. Once you have conquered one you can move on to the next. Also hold yourself accountable. Take time everyday to journal about how your doing and what you could do to make it better. Make a list of all the things you want to accomplish and start with the first one and move from there. You can do it if you want it bad eough. The only person that can hold you back is yourself. Good luck on your journey and YES YOU CAN DO IT!

innocenceportrayed

If you want it bad enough, you'll make it happen.

I keep my old bikini(size small that I haven't been in since I was 15--7 years ago) hanging on the back of my door along with a pair of capris that I can't fit into and they remind me daily that this is what I want and I know if you want it bad enough you'll make it happen.

And whenever I get negative and think I can't do it, I remember some famous quotes:

"Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're always right" - Henry Ford
"Everyday may not be a good day, but there is good in every day"
"You gain courage, strength and confidence in which every experience you stop and look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot." -Eleanor Roosevelt.

wlkumpf

This time will be different. You are going to change some long term habits and go for sustainability and lifestyle changes! Counting calories helps so much to get a grasp on why we have failed in the past.
Try some group workouts, I love the accountability. If you can make a few goals, especially nsv''s, it becomes a downhill batte. You reach it and can't wait for the next goal to be met

bassanne

One thing I do is if I want the bad thing, I eat a good thing first, carrots, 90 cal cerel bar, yogurt, whatever, and wait at least 30 minutes, if I still want it I have it, but usually I have forgotten about it and moved on. May be worth a try.

tanyaslosingit

Im starting my journey today. Honestly, I have started so many other times I am tempted to be very negative.
I am trying very hard to stay positive, because I know half the battle is in my head.

I realize I seriously lack self control. If I crave it, I get it. I almost never tell myself "no".
How do I begin to change this horrible habit? It seems like such a steep mountain to climb.

Instead of looking at the mountain you have to climb, just focus on one step at a time. I think you will find that, just as your weight gain isn't the result of one huge thing; neither will your weight loss be. In other words, your success will be the result of a number of small decisions you make every day.

You might try setting up a series of mini-goals for yourself like eating 100 calories less a day or; giving up one of your sweetened drinks for a glass of water.... These little things add up, can be very satisfying when accomplished, motivating in that you look for more small goals to set and conquer and, prevent frustration. Accomplishing the goals start to take on more importance than the cravings after awhile :-)

I'm of the "Slow & Steady" school of thought and it seems to be working for me; but others have different (and no less valid) approaches. I truly hope you find the path that works for you. Good luck! :-)

WendyTerry420

Im starting my journey today. Honestly, I have started so many other times I am tempted to be very negative.
I am trying very hard to stay positive, because I know half the battle is in my head.

I realize I seriously lack self control. If I crave it, I get it. I almost never tell myself "no".
How do I begin to change this horrible habit? It seems like such a steep mountain to climb.

don't buy it in the first place ... then you can't eat it. not to sound mean but that's what i have come to do. make a well thought out HEALTHY grocery list. go to the grocery store and don't look at anything else. don't give yourself a chance to think; jus quickly grab what's on the list and keep it moving. once you get this in general practice, you won't even think of the bad stuff.

^^^^ This is what I have done on the past two paydays. It works. If you spend all your grocery money on healthy food, then there's no money left for the junk. (at least not in my house )

If you get a craving, then note it in your food diary. I also agree about consistent logging. The food and exercise diaries in MFP are the reason that I have been able to translate my desire to be fit into an action plan. Think about it, plan it, then do it.

Welcome to MFP! :happy:

vypeters

I know it feels very all or nothing, but perhaps try making one change a week? That way you're only building a couple of new habits at a time. Start with a big one so it feels like you're accomplishing something and gradually work in all the rest.

jlorren

Wow. I came on here hoping at least one person responded. I have been encouraged by every single response. This is a huge help on keeping on on track. Thank you so much for taking time to encourage me and give me tips. It makes such a difference!

Thank you all!

BlueJean4114

haven't read other replies, just jumping in,
and i have no business doling out inspiration,
as i am new here, too, and still struggling and tripping a bit here or there.

but, i find truly logging all my food into my diary IS helping me. For first time in my entire life, i am now at least noticing, if not measuring my food amounts. I am still in the "becoming aware" of what i eat phase....wow, do USE that food diary. You can set your privacy so it is private, open to friends, or open.
but USE that food diary, and track every bite, condiments, drinks, etc. All of it.

Yeah, you will probably trip a bit too, BUT, even if you binge out, you can try again next day.
You can keep track of times/triggers that *you* are most likely to binge......write these down, log it.

As best as you can, prepare ahead for those times.
Call a pal.
Post something here for support to get you throught that moment.
Take a walk.
Leave the house.
Snack on popcorn (lotsa crunch, takes a while to eat, not very calorie-dense) or celery and carrots.
Or try eating protein foods before the time of day you are most likely to fall off the horse. Maybe some tuna, to help keep you satiated.


Experiment around, with types of foods, times of day, that help you have most successful day.

and don't look at the mountain, just look at today. Just for today, i will feed myself proper nutrition.

jsut one step at a time, one day at a time.

YOU CAN DO IT!! and so can i.

darkhakai

Apparently it takes 21 days to get into a habit. Whether its eating healthily, exercising or just making small changes to yourself it's all gonna take time. Bare that in mind and don't be disappointed if you don't see results in a few days.

Honestly, when I first started I was EXACTLY like you. I started over many times, got disappointed and gave up.

But whatever reason this time I stuck with it (mostly thanks to this website and the support) and now exercising and planning my meals is the highlight of my days.

You didn't gain weight overnight so you're not gonna lose it overnight. It doesn't matter how long it takes you, you WILL reach your goals in the end and think how amazing you're gonna feel when you do.

Thanks for this post. I've never tried to change my eating habits before this so I'm not sure how difficult it's going to be long term but I am seeing a bit of a struggle letting go of some of the things I've grown accustomed to eating on a regular basis.

Knowing that it takes about a month to even get into the routine makes me feel quite a bit better about my "slip ups" and cave-ins!

Like my yesterday's dinner... Not the healthiest of choices, but I knew I wanted it so I planned around it all day. I was mostly guilt-free since I managed to come in under my calories!

yoovie

Decide you want a reputation for having iron clad willpower.

Then live up to it.

if you dont care how you see yourself, or how you live up to your own standards, neither will anyone else. No one can help you build your willpower other than yourself.

BlueJean4114

also, i am trying to make other changes, to help me feel differently,
i am playing my favorite kind of music all over the house when i am home, and kinda loud, too.
and trying to get up every 20 or 30 minutes and move around, even if it's only for 10 minutes. some days i am setting buzzer to remember to do this.
I am already feeling more flexible, more alive, more hopeful.

I am wearing better clothing, taking care of me, to help me see myself as better.

i am walking with my favorite music in my headphones, and doing a lil better, it's a lil easier already going up/down stairs, etc.


maybe, also besides focusing on staying in your calorie limit, and exercising, even if only walking for now,
try to think of other things that may give you a boost. Might help you develop a hopeful feeling inside...

missmayeb

I think that saying you have a problem with self control is a huge step. I agree with the goal making. Make you goal list large enough that you can read it as you walk by it or even post little reminders throughout your house/office so that you have to see a few each day.

And as cheesy as this sounds close your eyes and picture yourself at your first goal weight. What would you be doing? Eating a salad? Walking two miles? Fitting into a gorgeous dress? Do those things NOW and feel that accomplishment. Then continue to do those things that make you that goal weight. Keep changing your mental image as you progress and make more determined goals. I know it is hokie but I do it instead of cutting out pictures in a magazine because I want to obtain my look not someone else's.