I am an "unfit" Mom for working out??????

cmriverside

These are some of the best replies ever. You guys rock.

Take care of yourself. I've been in abusive relationships. The more they can make you doubt yourself and your choices, the more they keep you down and hurt your spirit.

Be strong :flowerforyou: ((hugs))

strongandfit

Don't take the bait. Of course, he will be unsupportive and not encouraging. Isn't that why you're divorcing him in the first place. He's going to spin everything out of your favor. Don't focus on him. Focus on yourself. You're #1. Good for you to go to the gym and put yourself first and then, you can become an even better Mom. Thank you for sharing your frustration with us. Don't comfort yourself by grabbing a donut now, ok? Write to us instead. :flowerforyou:

paddlemom

I just want you to know that I was a stay at home mom with my kids and made sure that had some "me" time during the week by joining a few activities that provided day care while I was doing them. The breaks saved my sanity, the kids had some time to socialize with kids their own age and they learned about coping in new places with new people. There were other opportunities for me to spend quality time with them - the job description does not demand 24 hr undivided access to Mom!!!

They are now all in their 20's and happy, successful, well adjusted adults.

My point is, don't let anyone guilt you into thinking this is "bad mom" behaviour!!!

cerdmann

Alyssa - You are NOT an "unfit" mom for joining a gym to improve your health. Your son is also benefitting from exposure to other children his age in this social setting. Even though you work in a day care and take your son, this environment is different from traditional day care. The gym is a place where your son can see you interact with others in a healthy way. This is exactly what you both need! The relationship your son sees between you and your soon-to-be-ex is anything but healthy. As you said he is verbally and physically abusive. As an adult child of an abusive father (always directed at my mother, both verbally and physically) I will never be able to completely trust that the people in my life are not going to be abusive. I know in my heart that my husband is the most wonderful man in the world, but the little girl in me still fears the verbal and physical abuse my father dished out on my mother. I cringe when I hear harsh words exchanged between other people and it makes me feel ill when I hear you say that your soon-to-be-ex calls you "fat" but puts you down for joining a gym! Trust me when I say -- THIS IS NOT A GOOD ENVIRONMENT FOR YOUR SON! He needs to see you healthy, happy and in a safe place. Otherwise this abusive relationship will follow him for his whole life. It's far better for you and your son to turn your lives around. Continue to go to the gym, continue to work toward a better life and love your son and yourself. Never let another person put you down! You are worthy of a happy life. GO FOR IT!

klybarger

It sounds like he's jealous because you're moving forward and he's not. He's still trying to manipulate you. Congrats on taking steps for a healthier you and you are setting a great example for your child. Wishing you so much happiness and don't think for a moment you don't deserve that - good luck.

rheign

IMO, you made two really good decisions: 1. working out 2. divorcing this guy. Honey, by taking care of you, you're taking care of your child. Keep it up!

size6Jessi

that obviously has nothing to do with you. He is obviously not conserned aboutyour weight as ahealth issue. My husband approached it as a health issue, and wanted me healthier, he didnt call me "fat" and would never. IM sorry that he did that, its not right!