Life on 600 kcals a day

batigol1985

I have come here to get some support and to basically use putting this in writing as a way to shake myself out of an eating disorder.

it began for some reason back in Jan 2011. Previously I was a muscular 72 kg (Im 5.8), played competitive football, trained at gym 3-4 times a week and had a very healthy diet and lifestyle. For some reason this changed...firstly I began to leave out my usual breakfast, then carbs, then going to gym and doing cardio every day. By May 2011 I was down to 58kg, I was depressed, had quit football and was constantly told I looked too skinny. All the muscle I had worked hard to build was being lost. I hated my job and decided to travel for a year.

Instantly I became happier, travelling solo made me feel good. Within a month or 2 I was 75 kg. I love trying new foods and I did this..maybe excessively. Over the course of year I went as high as 82kg. I knew this was too much, I looked fat but I was enjoying life...I just put it down to the lack of exercise etc.

Im back home about 2 months and I have slipped back into my old ways. I wanted to lose a bit of weight obviously but my goal was 72 kg, my normal weight. I have no job and I am struggling to get to terms with life back home. I guess I felt that i had lost control a bit and I began to eat less and less. For the last 2 months there has been maybe 3 occassions when I have ate over 600 kcals a day. I go to the gym 5 days a week, working hard and doing lots of cardio. Even the other day I had planned a cheat day but ended up burning 700 kcals in gym to make myself feel better. In the end I think I ate approx 1000kcals that day!

My average day is as follows:
10.00 - Get up
11.00 -1.00 gym - weights/cardio
1.00 - 1 poached egg and small slice of wholemeal toast
Snack - Apple
7.00 - huge salad of veg - peppers, lettuce,tomatoes,onion, carrott, cucumber with a natural yoghurt dressing
Snack - Red Grapefruit

6 cups of coffee or tea and water during the day

Im at 70 kg now. Which is good but I feel so crap about getting back into my old habits and the eating disorder. The thing is as I guess others who suffer the same realise....what I am doing is bad for my body. I know what a good healthy diet is (I had one). I love cooking and trying food but I just cant shake the mindset I have right now. I want to shake this...I have spoken to a few people about it but changing is very hard.

Just thought I would share this as I think its a good way to try and change my mindset
Thanks