People not getting it.

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hmrsimpsonzealot
hmrsimpsonzealot Posts: 30
in Motivation and Support
:grumble: I am having a hard time with the whole weight loss thing. Not in the "doing" part of things, but the motivation part. I started going to the gym in the mornings, because I get a free membership at my college. I have been coming in to work closer to eight. (Not that it is a problem.) So naturally, the girls I work with started asking where I was going in the morning, so I told them.

Of course, as soon as I tell them, they start to act strange anytime I mention ANYTHING about eating healthy, exercising, or the gym. They ask, and when I tell them, the "scoff" at me almost.

I am happy with what I am doing, but it is hard when you don't have the support of people you figure you would. I mean, I spend more time at work then I do at home. I might as well live with these people.

How do you deal with the downers?

Replies

  • hmrsimpsonzealot
    hmrsimpsonzealot Posts: 30
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    :grumble: I am having a hard time with the whole weight loss thing. Not in the "doing" part of things, but the motivation part. I started going to the gym in the mornings, because I get a free membership at my college. I have been coming in to work closer to eight. (Not that it is a problem.) So naturally, the girls I work with started asking where I was going in the morning, so I told them.

    Of course, as soon as I tell them, they start to act strange anytime I mention ANYTHING about eating healthy, exercising, or the gym. They ask, and when I tell them, the "scoff" at me almost.

    I am happy with what I am doing, but it is hard when you don't have the support of people you figure you would. I mean, I spend more time at work then I do at home. I might as well live with these people.

    How do you deal with the downers?
  • Tgeorge
    Tgeorge Posts: 49
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    That's a bummer. It is okay to be selfish and take care of yourself and not worry about the others who are not happy for you. They will try to break you so that you come back to the flock but resist. More than likely they can not find the motivation in themselves to be healthier or they liked looking at you before and thinking that at least they were healthier than her sort of thing.
  • babyhippo
    babyhippo Posts: 247
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    Eating healthy and taking care of yourself is nothing to be ashamed of. I'm sorry that these people are to ignorant and immature to realize that. Keep up the good work you have been doing.
    Just remember to take out the anger and frustration you have towards them at the gym and not the fridge!
  • banks1850
    banks1850 Posts: 3,475 Member
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    I guess there are many ways to deal with it. You aren't the only one to mention this in the past, and I have had to deal with it on a limited basis. (A co-worker of mine always mentions the fact that I eat bird food. Regardless of the fact that he has a hyperactive thyroid and can eat a vat of lard and not gain weight.:grumble: )

    A couple of things I do is 1: realize that at least part of their derision is due to jealousy. It keeps me smiling when I hear something like that and realize they are trying to bring me down because they don't have the will power to do it themself.
    2: confront them with it. Of course you have to be tactful in the workplace, but ask them why they feel like they need to make remarks about it. If this doesn't make them feel bad or rethink their comments, then they are a small minded person and not worth your thoughts.
    3: realize that you are doing this for you, and remind yourself that these people don't have any control over what you do and making remarks is only their way of justifying NOT doing it to themselves.

    I hope one of these things work for you! Remember, what your doing is right! You always have that, and no snide comments can take that away!
  • momathome
    momathome Posts: 72
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    I am so sorry. I know it is hard. I am an at home mom and it is hard some days to do my workout or to eat whatever I want. But then I phone my sister and talk to her and by the end of it I do my work out. It is hard when you don't have support but in the end you are doing this for you and only you so yourself is the only support you need.....gee I should really listen to that sometimes. Try to think about it as they are wanting to be doing what you are and don't have the strength to do it.
    I really don't know what to say but stick with it.
  • aslavich
    aslavich Posts: 250 Member
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    I agree with banks on this one... and in reality, probably half the people that "scoff" at you have probably dealth with the same struggle you are dealing with now.

    Just remember that you are doing this for you and NOT for them. Who cares what they say! :wink:

    Have a great day... you are an inspiration to me!

    Angela :flowerforyou:
  • yenn
    yenn Posts: 48 Member
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    That really sucks. DOH !!! I get the same thing. In retrospect I wish I'd never said anything ... you know how people say you should tell others what you're doing so they keep you accountable ?? I think you should only tell a select few people whom you trust and whose support you know you'll have and just quietly go about your business, downplay all the healthy stuff. Let people ask when they start noticing the difference in the spring in your step !! The downers are out there and are generally the people we see at work day in and day out. Most think they know it all, or know better than you, or have failed at it themselves and are secretly hoping you'll fail too so they aren't alone. Let 'em drag it out of you that you're making healthy changes to avoid the saboteurs !! (SP?)

    Looking at this water-cooler healthy talk on the flip side though, we have one very fit girl at work who never talks about going to the gym, or her food (but goes every day and counts calories like I do) and one guy who yo yo's but won't shut up about his trainer THIS, I am eating only broccoli this week THAT, I hurt my leg on my trail run bla bla bla every chance he gets. We all know from experience with him that he will gain 40 pounds next year, then lose 20 the following year, than gain 30 back, then lose 60. He has been up and down six or seven times in the 10 years we've worked together. I kind of feel like we're HIS downer, but maybe that's a defense of the naysayers. So many people go all or nothing and then can't keep it up, they feel the urge to put the kabosh on it early and make it a self-fulfilling prophecy !! So I guess my point is, make them drag the healthy talk out of you ... let the results speak for themselves !! And good luck. The only person who really has any say in what happens, is YOU !!!
  • zenmama
    zenmama Posts: 1,000
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    This is all about you and here on MFP we are here for you...NO scoffing!
    :flowerforyou:
    zen
  • cp005e
    cp005e Posts: 1,495 Member
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    They probably just feel threatened. If they're not exercising regularly or taking care of themselves, then being confronted with someone who is makes them feel uncomfortable about themselves, their own lifestyle, and their health. When you talk about eating healthy or working out, they may feel like it is some sort of attack on their choices.

    This is not your fault! They have their own baggage to deal with. At this point, I would say just keep your habits and successes to yourself. Eventually they will be able to notice the difference in your health, and they'll probably show more respect. If they continue to go out of their way to bring something up and then react negatively, you might have to say something like, "I'm doing what is best for me right now, and I'm happy with my choices. I'm not attacking your liefstyle; please don't attack mine." But I would try just not reacting first - if they are trying to get your goat, just ignore it or let it go.

    Know that you are doing this for yourself, and remind yourself of all those reasons you have to keep going. If other people can't be supportive, just let it go - they probably just wish they had your willpower! :flowerforyou:
  • Patwin55
    Patwin55 Posts: 100 Member
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    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: Remember we are here for you.
  • ohthatbambi
    ohthatbambi Posts: 1,098 Member
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    :grumble: I am having a hard time with the whole weight loss thing. Not in the "doing" part of things, but the motivation part. I started going to the gym in the mornings, because I get a free membership at my college. I have been coming in to work closer to eight. (Not that it is a problem.) So naturally, the girls I work with started asking where I was going in the morning, so I told them.

    Of course, as soon as I tell them, they start to act strange anytime I mention ANYTHING about eating healthy, exercising, or the gym. They ask, and when I tell them, the "scoff" at me almost.

    I am happy with what I am doing, but it is hard when you don't have the support of people you figure you would. I mean, I spend more time at work then I do at home. I might as well live with these people.

    How do you deal with the downers?


    As I tell my daughter about people who don't support her in her victories...they obviously are not your true friends, regardless of how much time you spend with them and most likely are just jealous that they are not motivated enough to take care of themselves. Take pride in who you are and what you are doing and let them sit and eat their bon bons. Hang in there and keep taking care of YOU!!
  • nicole0177
    nicole0177 Posts: 377
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    Just keep in mind that your going to look WAY better than them eventually!!! and you'll be the downer to them!!! dont let them discourage you!!
  • Nich0le
    Nich0le Posts: 2,906 Member
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    If the girls you are working with could use a little healthy eating and exercise too then unfortunately they are scoffing because you are doing something they all know they should be doing. When you start to show results they will either come around or be jealous girls.

    Just remember why you are doing this, and maybe just maybe, you will inspire even one of those girls to get off their duff and get moving too!
  • madkat67
    madkat67 Posts: 32
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    :grumble: I am having a hard time with the whole weight loss thing. Not in the "doing" part of things, but the motivation part. I started going to the gym in the mornings, because I get a free membership at my college. I have been coming in to work closer to eight. (Not that it is a problem.) So naturally, the girls I work with started asking where I was going in the morning, so I told them.

    Of course, as soon as I tell them, they start to act strange anytime I mention ANYTHING about eating healthy, exercising, or the gym. They ask, and when I tell them, the "scoff" at me almost.

    I am happy with what I am doing, but it is hard when you don't have the support of people you figure you would. I mean, I spend more time at work then I do at home. I might as well live with these people.

    How do you deal with the downers?

    I keep smiling! Seriously - the people who try to bring me down cannot do so because I won't allow it!
    Surround yourself with people who support you - like on this site! You can do it! I know you can do it because you created a plan and you're acting on the plan!
    And for those girls at work - well, there's a lot of negativity about proper nutrition right now so I guess it is to be expected. But I suspect the trend is turning from unhealthy to healthier lifestyles. You know how to handle those girls, but when the people I work with get me down I just offer them a carrot and smile:tongue:
    Hope this helps you keep your head in the game! :smile:
    Madkat67

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