skinny is[n't always] healthy

ashesfromfire

So, this post is a bit of a rant, but I'm really frustrated at the moment. Less than three years ago I was skinnier than I had ever been, i was not tiny by any means - My lowest I believe was 161 - but it looked good on me, I had a killer hour glass yet didn't look heavy. The catch is, I doubt I ate 1000 calories in a week.I had dropped a good 30 pounds that way, leaving myself to be ood and awwed by the general public. I WAS NOT HEALTHY! I didn't take care of my body. I felt so much power in denying myself food . And yet everywhere I got told I was beautiful. One day I came to my senses and started eating again - but after months f being in starvation mode by body ransacked those calories for all they were worth! And I jumped all the way up to almost 240 (YIKES). Of course, my food choices were not fantastic but the entire amount of weight gain was ridiculous. Now, I eat as healthy as I can, loving my health foods, I work out most days, I get more sleep (feel free to ignore this was written past midnight) and yadda yadda. I;m down to about 219 - still a long ways to go, but progress none the less. BUT I SWEAR ON ALL THAT IS HOLY! IF ONE MORE PERSON TELLS ME THEY WANT ME TO BE "HEALTHY AGAIN" like i "USED TO BE" i just might eat their children!!!!!! I'm not arguing that fat is healthy, but I'm so much healthier (at least in terms of life style) then I could have come anywhere near too at 160. If I wanted a quick fix I would just stop eating again. But I WANT to lose it by BEING HEALTHY! Health is not something that is magically achieved once you're thin, its the positive changes you make on the way there. Don't tell me you want me to be anorexic again, world, I can't take it!

Kalynx

good luck, i can definately relate but from the other end of the spectrum. was always heavier, now trying to understand food and be healthy forever naturally. there are so many ideas about beauty, what a good diet is, its mind boggling.

fteale

Don't jump down my throat for this, but it sounds like you have a slightly unhealthy attitude towards food. You can easily get back to 160 by eating healthily, that isn't an unreasonable weight unless you are over 6ft tall.

Kalynx

Don't jump down my throat for this, but it sounds like you have a slightly unhealthy attitude towards food. You can easily get back to 160 by eating healthily, that isn't an unreasonable weight unless you are over 6ft tall.

she explained her relationship was not the best with food, thats why most of us are here.

ashesfromfire

No, it's totally reasonable. 160 is, in the end, my goal weight, because I know I look good at that size. That's not my point at all. It just grinds my gears when people tell me they want me to be healthy like I was then. We have it in our heads than "thin" equates health. But we all have that friend that is going to be skinny forever while sitting on their butt eating cookies. But no one who assume they're sedentary or a large quantity cookie consumer, because of their size. I was the opposite, I looked pretty darn thin, but was so so so bad to my body.
Now I have a healthy attitude towards food. I no longer get a power trip denying myself one of our most basic primal needs.

I'm just ranting about how people make the assumption that if you're a certain size your healthy and whatever is above (or even below sometime) that is unhealthy.
at 160 I was a train wreck
at 219, I'm a train well fueled and heading hard and fast in te direction of my goals. I'm living healthy

Kalynx

No, it's totally reasonable. 160 is, in the end, my goal weight, because I know I look good at that size. That's not my point at all. It just grinds my gears when people tell me they want me to be healthy like I was then. We have it in our heads than "thin" equates health. But we all have that friend that is going to be skinny forever while sitting on their butt eating cookies. But no one who assume they're sedentary or a large quantity cookie consumer, because of their size. I was the opposite, I looked pretty darn thin, but was so so so bad to my body.
Now I have a healthy attitude towards food. I no longer get a power trip denying myself one of our most basic primal needs.

I'm just ranting about how people make the assumption that if you're a certain size your healthy and whatever is above (or even below sometime) that is unhealthy.
at 160 I was a train wreck
at 219, I'm a train well fueled and heading hard and fast in te direction of my goals. I'm living healthy

PunkyRachel

Skinny is not always healthy, I'm skinnier now than when I got married I was 165 and a size 16 then, now I'm 190 and a size 12. I was not healthy. I hated exercise, I rarely ate healthy. Now I exercise 6 days a week and eat as healthy as possible and try new foods all the time. So now I have people already say I should stop and not get too skinny...I'm not stopping! Keep up the great work girl ignore those stupid people

mskatee

i'm glad you posted this! it's a reminder not only that skinny isn't always healthy but also that other people have LOTS of reactions to our weight gains/losses etc that are often uninformed and have WAY more to do with them than us. it's like they think our journey is a spectator sport and they are the commentators!

head_in_rainbows

How tall are you exactly that you were too skinny at 161? That kind of rants piss me off. I am 5'6 127 and want to drop to around 120 (for estetic reasons, I won't lie). And I am not nor will be too skinny at that weight. People are different and just because you were not eating right and felt like crap when you were thin does not mean everybody is. It pisses me off how easily people trash those who are slim and how easily it comes to some to call someone anorectic, yet "fat" is almost an swearword. It's not the "skinny" that is a problem but bad eating habbits.

violetta88

I'm totally with you. Two years ago I was 120lbs, size 8 (US size 6, I think ...?), and people told me I looked gorgeous, fit and healthy.

I also ate around 500 cals a day and exercised every second I wasn't at work.

For me it comes down to two things - one, who you surround yourself with. I worked in fashion retail at the time, surrounded by skinny minnies. To them, thin was always going to be better, no matter how you got there.

Two - people don't know your life. You can't expect them to. Generally people will always assume that losing weight = getting healthier. It's not unless they can see how you're living that they would know if you were doing it the healthy way or not. And I don't know about you, but back then I would've done anything to hide the problems I was having with food.

Don't take your perception of health from what other people say about you. Only YOU know what you're doing to your body, so you're the only one in a position to judge.

urglewurgle

I understand Hun, a while back I went from 16 stone (290lbs) to 9.5 (133) in about 9 months and not in a sensible way. In fact my hair skin and nails were terrible and I was "skinny fat". I moved, met my boyfriend and put on about 50lbs which need to come off. However, I've started doing Insanity and eating as healthily as I can and the results I'm getting are less that my weight it going down and more that I'm toning up and getting healthier. It's helping my focuse less on the amount I'm eating and weight I'm loosing and more on what's healthy and "normal" eating and exercising habits. I had completely lost sight of what was "normal" before.
I'm proud of the progress I'm making but not obsessive as I was before.

Sounds like we're both doing better this time!

Yrla

I agree that there is certainly a general tendency to equate 'thin' with 'healthy' (though I guess we all have a limit below which we consider people 'too thin', even if that limit is different for different people). But for me the problems is just as much, if not more, to do with the fact that people comment at all - that people think it's ok to pass judgement on other people's bodies and appearance like that, and that we (as a society) attach so much significance to size and looks, as if that's what matters (rather than how we behave towards each other).

Personally I can't stand when people comment on my size, whether it's meant as a compliment or as critique (or concern). And I agree that the assumptions made about someone based on their size can be incredibly wrong (and therefore also hurtful). Reading this thread reminded me of a few years ago when I'd lost heaps of weight from stress (partly loss of appetite, partly deliberate food restriction as a way of dealing with a stressful event). I felt crap, was underweight by medical standards, had no energy, was an emotional wreck, etc etc. When I see photos of myself from then I think I look awful - gaunt and tired. I will never forget coming home to visit my family for Christmas that year, because when my uncle, who hadn't seen me in a couple of years, approached me, a big smile broke out on his face and he exclaimed "wow, someone's lost a lot of weight - you look great! well done!".

I'd gone from a mid-range healthy BMI to being underweight and undernourished, and he told me I looked great - apparently assuming I'd got skinny on purpose in order to look good.

I think there's a lot of truth in the argument that people often equate 'thin' or 'slim' with 'healthy', because Western society, especially commercial culture, has been so obsessed with a thin beauty ideal for some time (my impression is that this is slowly beginning to change - but I might be wrong). My uncle had recently had a very typical midlife crisis which had led him to start going to the gym 6 days a week, dramatically change his diet, lose heaps of weight, and buy a silver sports car (yes, the cliche is a little depressing...), so perhaps he assumed that because he's lost weight on purpose in order to look better, so had I...

Anyway, I simply never comment on people's weight because A) I hate it when people do it to me; other people's size is completely irrelevant and uninteresting to me, unless they themselves want to talk about it; C) someone's size/weight is in my opinion usually not a very good indication of their physical and/or mental wellbeing; and D) i think it's a little rude and judgmental, not to mention intrusive. Though obviously not commenting can also be hurtful sometimes - like when one of my closest friends lost quite a lot of weight and I didn't say anything, and she asked, me, quite hurt, if I didn't noticed. To be honest I didn't actually notice, for the simple reason that I hadn't noticed the weight gain that preceded the loss - she'd worked really heard to get back to her 'normal' size, but I hadn't realised she had changed from that size to begin with... At the end of the day though, I think it's always safer and more respectful to say nothing, unless someone brings it up themselves.

urglewurgle

When people comment on my weight loss this time I've noticed myself replying with something like 'check out my guns" or (to people who know about Insanity) "I managed such and such more of whatever exercise last night".

pkw58

When people comment on my weight loss this time I've noticed myself replying with something like 'check out my guns" or (to people who know about Insanity) "I managed such and such more of whatever exercise last night".

This is awesome. Best NSV response ever.

Kalynx

At the end of the day though, I think it's always safer and more respectful to say nothing, unless someone brings it up themselves.

I agree.do unto others as you would have done unto you. I do try to be nice, and smile and notice things about people "you look happy today!" or "I really like that shirt!." "wow you look so great today."

Someone yesterday in the halls at work said wow you look great lately, another lady said "she looks sexy!" lol (blush)..and before that I randomly passed a coworker I like to chat with and she stopped mid step, and said "every time I see you, you make me smile." ..I feel awkward just sharing that, but

Any men reading this: NEVER ASK A LADY IF SHE IS PREGNANT FOR WHATEVER REASON lmao

liss125

How tall are you exactly that you were too skinny at 161? That kind of rants piss me off. I am 5'6 127 and want to drop to around 120 (for estetic reasons, I won't lie). And I am not nor will be too skinny at that weight. People are different and just because you were not eating right and felt like crap when you were thin does not mean everybody is. It pisses me off how easily people trash those who are slim and how easily it comes to some to call someone anorectic, yet "fat" is almost an swearword. It's not the "skinny" that is a problem but bad eating habbits.

I don't think that is what she meant. She was referring to her old habit of eating close to nothing that made her use the term anorectic. She lost weight in a very unhealthy way, which many of us have done at one point or another.

liss125

Good for you for figuring this out while you are still so young! I spent most of my twenties relishing the idea of nearly starving, then working out twice a day. Too much time was wasted on something that was completely unnecessary in order to stay thin/healthy.

fteale

No, it's totally reasonable. 160 is, in the end, my goal weight, because I know I look good at that size. That's not my point at all. It just grinds my gears when people tell me they want me to be healthy like I was then. We have it in our heads than "thin" equates health. But we all have that friend that is going to be skinny forever while sitting on their butt eating cookies. But no one who assume they're sedentary or a large quantity cookie consumer, because of their size. I was the opposite, I looked pretty darn thin, but was so so so bad to my body.
Now I have a healthy attitude towards food. I no longer get a power trip denying myself one of our most basic primal needs.

I'm just ranting about how people make the assumption that if you're a certain size your healthy and whatever is above (or even below sometime) that is unhealthy.
at 160 I was a train wreck
at 219, I'm a train well fueled and heading hard and fast in te direction of my goals. I'm living healthy

Ok. I have the opposite - everyone thinks I am healthy at 160 lbs when for me that is overweight, and complain I am too thin now at 125 lbs when I am right in the middle of a healthy BMI. I think people just assume that whatever they are used to you looking like is what is healthy for you.

HealthyGinny

It's like you're talking about my life!

When I was 21, I almost stopped eating all together. I was drinking 2 small glasses of cold tomato soup and eating one apple each day, I was working out and drinking water like crazy, taking laxatives, purging, etc. I had dark circles under my eyes, I was shaking so bad I looked sick, my hair was awful, etc. Yet people everywhere were complimenting me, saying I was so strong for losing so much weigh and basically praising me for starving myself. A year after that, I started eating again because I couldn't stay awake during classes, etc. I gained so much weigh after that, it was crazy and I was so discouraged I got into binge eating, which is still one of my greatest problems right now. I don't have a good relationship to food, that's clear, but I don't think hearing people telling me every day how I looked great when I was 21 is helping me.

Today, I have healthy eating patterns, I work out reasonably, try not to binge, try not to use any pills or laxatives, try not to purge. It's not easy but I'm making progress each day and losing weight in a healthy way. I would like people to stop comparing my weight loss journey today with the one from 3 years ago. I guess I can't really blame them since they didn't know about how unhealthy I was at the time but still, I looked half-dead half the time and I'm wondering if they really didn't see anything or just pretended not to.

Anyway, I'm with you and thank you for posting, it's good to see people in the same boat as I am

fteale

I think also that people have very different ideas about what a healthy attitude towards food is. I think I have a pretty healthy attitude to food, because I eat healthily, don't eat if I am not hungry and watch my macros. I have been told by a lot of people (mostly bigger than me) that I have an unhealthy attitude to food BECAUSE I watch what I eat and try to be healthy, because to some people a healthy attitude is to not think about it.

head_in_rainbows

I think also that people have very different ideas about what a healthy attitude towards food is. I think I have a pretty healthy attitude to food, because I eat healthily, don't eat if I am not hungry and watch my macros. I have been told by a lot of people (mostly bigger than me) that I have an unhealthy attitude to food BECAUSE I watch what I eat and try to be healthy, because to some people a healthy attitude is to not think about it.

Exactly, you refuse a muffin or make sure you ate proteins after working out and you are authomaticly someone with unhealthy attitude to food and are obsessed.