i hate myself? how do i change this?

BeautyFromPain

I can not think of a time when I have ever loved myself. Being called names like worthless, etc since I was born has not helped.
I am currently working the job of my dreams, and doing a course that I love but I am so close to giving up because I feel like I do not deserve happiness.

Am I the only one who feels like this?
How do I get over it and start to care about myself?

skinnyskittles

Do something after work that you love to do everyday

BeautyFromPain

Do something after work that you love to do everyday

I love dancing and do it almost every day, but I have now started finding things which I used to love boring :S After dancing for the past 16 years :S

iLoveMyPitbull1225

I am sorry about those hardships that you have encountered in life. No one should ever be told that they are worthless. I also want to say congratulations on the job of your dreams. You DO deserve happiness! Have you ever considered seeking therapeutic help? A good therapist/counselor/psychiatrist could help you get on the right track to discovering ways to love yourself and developing healthy coping skills. The fact that you stated you have lost interest in things you once enjoyed is a common symptom of depression. I do not know if you are aware of this or if you have ever sought counseling, but i would urge you to consider talking with a healthcare professional. Medications could possibly help you manage these feelings and allow you to learn new ways to enjoy life. Best wishes!

BeautyFromPain

I am sorry about those hardships that you have encountered in life. No one should ever be told that they are worthless. I also want to say congratulations on the job of your dreams. You DO deserve happiness! Have you ever considered seeking therapeutic help? A good therapist/counselor/psychiatrist could help you get on the right track to discovering ways to love yourself and developing healthy coping skills. The fact that you stated you have lost interest in things you once enjoyed is a common symptom of depression. I do not know if you are aware of this or if you have ever sought counseling, but i would urge you to consider talking with a healthcare professional. Medications could possibly help you manage these feelings and allow you to learn new ways to enjoy life. Best wishes!

I spoke to one for the first time yesterday but I didn't like it very much I just don't like talking about myself...

warmachinejt

i follow very stressed life too especially after something happened a few years ago. I try not to mind but still my mind doesn't let me sleep most of the days and that's what keeps me down a lot being tired and annoyed at things

amonroe1343

I am sorry about those hardships that you have encountered in life. No one should ever be told that they are worthless. I also want to say congratulations on the job of your dreams. You DO deserve happiness! Have you ever considered seeking therapeutic help? A good therapist/counselor/psychiatrist could help you get on the right track to discovering ways to love yourself and developing healthy coping skills. The fact that you stated you have lost interest in things you once enjoyed is a common symptom of depression. I do not know if you are aware of this or if you have ever sought counseling, but i would urge you to consider talking with a healthcare professional. Medications could possibly help you manage these feelings and allow you to learn new ways to enjoy life. Best wishes!

I spoke to one for the first time yesterday but I didn't like it very much I just don't like talking about myself...

Keep trying working with the therapist. You might have to try a few out to find one that you can really open up to and feel comfortable talking to. It might be hard at first to do it but after time hopefully you can get to a place where you can be happy again with who you are and enjoy life. I had depression in jr high after being bullied and humiliated most of jr high and I didn't like the first therapist I went to see and so I didn't benefit from it. I finally found one that I really felt comfortable with and she helped me to slowly overcome that. It can work you just have to keep at it even though it's hard to just talk at first.

jeddy3mcc

First of all you have to decide what it is you don't like about you. Once you do that. Figure out if it is something that you can chance i.e. weight, hair color, place you live, etc.. If it is something you can change then I would say Work to change it. If it is something you cannot change i.e. smile, race, who you are, you have to figure out what events traspired to make you have this mindset. and start accepting the things that you cannot change. You may not like it, but that is the hand you were dealt. You say you are in a dream job, I happen to love my job as well, but there are so many people out there who dont have an opportunity to do the things that they love, and that may be something that they cannot change because of responsibilities, education or something else. You have to focus on the good things about you. Making yourself a priority will also help this process as well. Loving yourself is paramount to happiness. You must love you in order to effectively love others. If you would like to talk more add me as a friend. We can motivate one another. While no one can teach you how to love you. We can support one another and seeing yourself in a positive light, can help take those feelings of hate and minimize their effect on your daily outlook

Have a great morning,

Jay

BeautyFromPain

i follow very stressed life too especially after something happened a few years ago. I try not to mind but still my mind doesn't let me sleep most of the days and that's what keeps me down a lot being tired and annoyed at things

This sounds like me...
After I was physically abused as a child I now wake up every hour or so, I'm always on flight mode

muddyventures

I hope I don't sound to simplistic, but you 'practiced' hating yourself over time...you must practice loving yourself over time as well. Find one thing about yourself you like or almost like and accept it. I don't think we hate ourselves in the sense of real hate, I think we don't accept ourselves.. learn and PRACTICE accepting yourself. It is as much or more work as diet and exercise can be... good luck.

You are much more than you think you are, so THINK IT!

BeautyFromPain

I hope I don't sound to simplistic, but you 'practiced' hating yourself over time...you must practice loving yourself over time as well. Find one thing about yourself you like or almost like and accept it. I don't think we hate ourselves in the sense of real hate, I think we don't accept ourselves.. learn and PRACTICE accepting yourself. It is as much or more work as diet and exercise can be... good luck.

You are much more than you think you are, so THINK IT!

I didn't practise hating myself, I got told to hate myself..

warmachinejt

The only thing that eases my mind a little is lifting weights. I can just concentrate on that and ignore everything else during the moment.

BeautyFromPain

The only thing that eases my mind a little is lifting weights. I can just concentrate on that and ignore everything else during the moment.

Yeah I love lifting weights, dancing and running

muddyventures

I hope I don't sound to simplistic, but you 'practiced' hating yourself over time...you must practice loving yourself over time as well. Find one thing about yourself you like or almost like and accept it. I don't think we hate ourselves in the sense of real hate, I think we don't accept ourselves.. learn and PRACTICE accepting yourself. It is as much or more work as diet and exercise can be... good luck.

You are much more than you think you are, so THINK IT!

I didn't practise hating myself, I got told to hate myself..

Somewhere along the way you had to accept that statement of being told to hate yourself, I won't argue with you because we only know our own circumstances in life. I am sorry that you've had a tough experience that has left you wounded. I ended up in Foster Care at a young age and I could tell you my journey but I don't like to share it in detail, but I also had people who impressed unpon me at a young age that I wasn't worth anything, and whether or not we know when it occurs or not, we come to accept those lies about ourselves. You will haveto fight those lies with truth, and that truth will have to be practiced within your heart and mind. Blessings to you.

iLoveMyPitbull1225

I am sorry about those hardships that you have encountered in life. No one should ever be told that they are worthless. I also want to say congratulations on the job of your dreams. You DO deserve happiness! Have you ever considered seeking therapeutic help? A good therapist/counselor/psychiatrist could help you get on the right track to discovering ways to love yourself and developing healthy coping skills. The fact that you stated you have lost interest in things you once enjoyed is a common symptom of depression. I do not know if you are aware of this or if you have ever sought counseling, but i would urge you to consider talking with a healthcare professional. Medications could possibly help you manage these feelings and allow you to learn new ways to enjoy life. Best wishes!

I spoke to one for the first time yesterday but I didn't like it very much I just don't like talking about myself...

keep going. Also, just because you saw someone doesnt mean that person is the right fit for you. try it for a few weeks.

BeautyFromPain

I am sorry about those hardships that you have encountered in life. No one should ever be told that they are worthless. I also want to say congratulations on the job of your dreams. You DO deserve happiness! Have you ever considered seeking therapeutic help? A good therapist/counselor/psychiatrist could help you get on the right track to discovering ways to love yourself and developing healthy coping skills. The fact that you stated you have lost interest in things you once enjoyed is a common symptom of depression. I do not know if you are aware of this or if you have ever sought counseling, but i would urge you to consider talking with a healthcare professional. Medications could possibly help you manage these feelings and allow you to learn new ways to enjoy life. Best wishes!

I spoke to one for the first time yesterday but I didn't like it very much I just don't like talking about myself...

keep going. Also, just because you saw someone doesnt mean that person is the right fit for you. try it for a few weeks.

I just dunno what to say, it's so awkward

iLoveMyPitbull1225

I belive it will get easier. Yeah, its weird at first. But I am a firm believer in it

rml_16

Sounds like some counseling would do you good. There really isn't anything anyone on a message board can say to fundamentally change how you see yourself.

jcriscuolo

I agree with the previous posters. Therapy will help. Try it again. If this person is not a match for you, find someone with whom you can connect and bare your soul. Once you find the right person and start making progress, it will be like a weight lifted from your shoulders. Don't give up. It REALLY works.

BeautyFromPain

I agree with the previous posters. Therapy will help. Try it again. If this person is not a match for you, find someone with whom you can connect and bare your soul. Once you find the right person and start making progress, it will be like a weight lifted from your shoulders. Don't give up. It REALLY works.

I just don't quite understand how talking to someone about problems can just magically fix them... :S

Erisad

Surround yourself with positive people. That's what I did and I have gotten a lot better with this, although some days are still hard. My bf loves and supports me, as do my friends. Counseling never did it for me either so I had to do it without professional help (all they did was stick me on anti depressants or recommend that I read the Bible, which didn't help or made it worse). It will take a while but the fake it til you make it is another good tactic. Buy an outfit you feel awesome in, pamper yourself a bit, take a day to yourself because you are worth it. :flowerforyou: