+1.... I spit in your general direction, Diet Gods!

TheFinalThird

Woke up this morning to see that I am up one pound on the scale. Now, if this were one of the 2,483 other times that I've tried to lose weight, this would be my cue (ooh, that word reminds me of bar-be-cue) to say, "oh what the heck, it's not working, so I might as well just binge away" (SCOTT TO ICE CREAM CONE: "Hellooooooo Gorgeous...."). But that just ain't gonna happen. No sir. No ma'am. Not me. Not this time.

Step One: Review yesterday's food list to find out why this happened. Let's see... Calories? Nope, stayed within allotment. Fiber? Well, I did eat a lot of fruit and veggies and have not yet visited the Reading Room this morning. Sodium? hmmm... let's see... BINGO... lookie there. Started the day yesterday with home made french onion dip made from Fage non-fat yogurt and french onion soup mix. The whole really filling and satisfying recipe only amounted to 250 or so calories (including ribs of romaine lettuce substituting for fritos), but the dip mix had 2,440 mg. of sodium. Why that's supposed to be my entire intake of sodium for the whole day. No wonder I am retaining water. That much sodium should make me as effective at that as the Hoover Damn (pun intended).

Step Two: So what are you gonna do about it Big Boy? And more importantly, why are you talking to yourself in the third person? This is creepy. Stop it. No, you stop it. NO, YOU STOP IT. Anyway, Step Two involves recognizing that this is a marathon that I am on, not a sprint. I can stop getting on the scale every day. Yeah, that's not gonna happen. Ok, so instead, I can recognize that occasional ups in my downs are a normal part of this process. I can do that. Also, I can begin to monitor my sodium intake as well as I have my calorie and fat intake. That's a good idea. Finally, I can increase my intake of water today to flush out (hahahah... you're funny... no, YOU'RE funny... ok, we're BOTH funny) the extra salt. That's what I'll do.

Step Three: Stay on program!

Step Four: Spit in the general direction of the Diet Gods. I refuse to slip on this banana peel (or, perhaps more appropriate, Blooming Onion peel) that you've tossed in front of me to make me screw up. I'm 51 years old, dammit. I'm SUPPOSED to learn from my previous mistakes. So this time I will.

Step Five: Obtain a very good therapist to help with this speaking in the third person thingie.

Ok, it's a plan. I'll do all of that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some scrambled egg whites with green peppers, red peppers, onions, cayenne pepper and gran masala to consume. Y'all have a great day. I am going to prepare to continue for the rest of my succesful marathon.

Peace out!

blackcoffeeandcherrypie

Lol! Awesome post.

I too discovered the evils of sodium this week after eating some chicken fried rice and promptly gaining 3kg overnight. When I think back to previous diets in which I lost virtually nothing (the chicken soup one springs to mind) I am fairly sure that it was high sodium causing me to retain water.

I'm so thankful I have this ability to track nutrients on MFP - it puts you so much more in control when you can see what's going wrong in cold hard numbers.

Anyway, I'm off to buy low sodium snacks. Have some water and, uh, something without salt in it and you'll be fine tomorrow :-D

LoNCole

Thanks for the laugh this morning! And good for you for sticking with it!

Roseysue

Funny bones!! Your therapist is going to tell you that you are allowed to talk to yourself. This "diet" thing is, after all, a battle between your logical side, your emotional side and maybe even your hungry side - heck there's probably multiple personalities involved that are either scheming to bring you down or working together to help you succeed. Whatever is going on in all our heads I just had to let you know that I loved your post!! Thanks for the humor today - I needed the giggle. This losing weight thing is a hard and frustrating journey for most of us and it's good to be able to laugh at it.

LosinItAll2012

Crazy Awesome Entertaining post this morning!! Love it!

I hope You...and the other You can work through this minor slip up!!! :happy:

Have a super Low-Sodium Day!!

KaciWood19

great post. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it!

squishycow7

Good, logical breakdown.

Go get 'em, tiger.

moseler

You are hilarious! Keep up the positive attitude and hard work... you're on the right track. This is ALL about learning and seems you are already ahead of the game! Good luck to you and your multiple personalities. :laugh:

melduf

Funny bones!! Your therapist is going to tell you that you are allowed to talk to yourself. This "diet" thing is, after all, a battle between your logical side, your emotional side and maybe even your hungry side - heck there's probably multiple personalities involved that are either scheming to bring you down or working together to help you succeed. Whatever is going on in all our heads I just had to let you know that I loved your post!! Thanks for the humor today - I needed the giggle. This losing weight thing is a hard and frustrating journey for most of us and it's good to be able to laugh at it.

I totally agree!

bikinibeliever

Ha ha...that was good!

More importantly, I think you've got it this time! I have also changed my whole mindset and it's working.

I have had weeks of great loses, small loses, gains, and I have even decided to take a week to maintain (done that 4x since my start).

Good luck and enjoy the ride!

firstsip

Fantastic post.

Celestialfairie

I just have to say that I adore this post. And your speaking in third person. ^^

GretchenReine

Great post!!! We all need to sit back and remember that our bodies do retain things and we will have days where we want to chuck the scale. Like you...I will not stop weighing every day. The key is to not let the little ups upset you but to figure out what to do to correct them.

Good luck with the therapist! Please make sure to let them know that not only are you speaking in the 3rd person...you're arguing and complimenting yourselves!!! ;-)

skykitten

I've never posted before but been lurking a while so just wanted to pop on here and say, that was hilarious! Well done on reasoning yourself into making positive decisions and congrats on being so funny...you should write a column or something...if you don't already of course!

bussaca

Love this - I was laughing through the whole thing!

Thanks for sharing, and thanks for reminding me to be checking my sodium!

bugtrain

One of my favorite posts ever! Thank you for a great start to my day!

tbetts23

*giggle* awesome out look!

12skipafew99100

Beautiful! If we would all have more converstionas with ourselves like this one, we would all be successful!
Have a great day you guys!

LuLuSUPER

Good deal! you are hillarious

lynnprice

^^^^^-high 5

FinallyFindingLisa

Fantastic start to my morning! Kudos to both (or all?) of you for seeing the evil of salt :grumble: - that bad boy has hit me more than once on the morning trip to the scale.

Unknown

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cuddles3281

Wow this is my morning humor for the day!! Awesome post and great insight on how not to panic, but review yesterday's meals to see where you could have went wrong. Have a great day!!

LuckyCheryl

I loved your story - great start to the day. I took struggle with keeping my sodium in check! Have a wonderful day.

Aedrah

haha! Scott, you are hilarious! Keep up the great attitude, and thanks for the morning laugh!

SallyRamona

Great post! I needed a good laugh. Also, congrats on sleuthing out that +1 and making a plan to counter it. You will definitely reach your goal this time with that attitude...and humor. :drinker: (that is water in those mugs by-the-by)

Chelsrf

Thanks for the laugh, definitely put a smile on my face this morning

LorinaLynn

Hey, hey, hey... Logic doesn't belong here! Our entire self-worth is supposed to be emotionally tied to the number on the scale! :explode:

Seriously... great post. :drinker:

beansprouts

Woke up this morning to see that I am up one pound on the scale. Now, if this were one of the 2,483 other times that I've tried to lose weight, this would be my cue (ooh, that word reminds me of bar-be-cue) to say, "oh what the heck, it's not working, so I might as well just binge away" (SCOTT TO ICE CREAM CONE: "Hellooooooo Gorgeous...."). But that just ain't gonna happen. No sir. No ma'am. Not me. Not this time.

Step One: Review yesterday's food list to find out why this happened. Let's see... Calories? Nope, stayed within allotment. Fiber? Well, I did eat a lot of fruit and veggies and have not yet visited the Reading Room this morning. Sodium? hmmm... let's see... BINGO... lookie there. Started the day yesterday with home made french onion dip made from Fage non-fat yogurt and french onion soup mix. The whole really filling and satisfying recipe only amounted to 250 or so calories (including ribs of romaine lettuce substituting for fritos), but the dip mix had 2,440 mg. of sodium. Why that's supposed to be my entire intake of sodium for the whole day. No wonder I am retaining water. That much sodium should make me as effective at that as the Hoover Damn (pun intended).

Step Two: So what are you gonna do about it Big Boy? And more importantly, why are you talking to yourself in the third person? This is creepy. Stop it. No, you stop it. NO, YOU STOP IT. Anyway, Step Two involves recognizing that this is a marathon that I am on, not a sprint. I can stop getting on the scale every day. Yeah, that's not gonna happen. Ok, so instead, I can recognize that occasional ups in my downs are a normal part of this process. I can do that. Also, I can begin to monitor my sodium intake as well as I have my calorie and fat intake. That's a good idea. Finally, I can increase my intake of water today to flush out (hahahah... you're funny... no, YOU'RE funny... ok, we're BOTH funny) the extra salt. That's what I'll do.

Step Three: Stay on program!

Step Four: Spit in the general direction of the Diet Gods. I refuse to slip on this banana peel (or, perhaps more appropriate, Blooming Onion peel) that you've tossed in front of me to make me screw up. I'm 51 years old, dammit. I'm SUPPOSED to learn from my previous mistakes. So this time I will.

Step Five: Obtain a very good therapist to help with this speaking in the third person thingie.

Ok, it's a plan. I'll do all of that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some scrambled egg whites with green peppers, red peppers, onions, cayenne pepper and gran masala to consume. Y'all have a great day. I am going to prepare to continue for the rest of my succesful marathon.

Peace out!

Excellent.!...LOL....I think that this man has nailed the drill!! This post (ie SCOTT'S RULES)should be required reading on MFP for anybody (ie everybody) who ever gets hit in the face with a scale generated setback.

FITnFIRM4LIFE

:-) Good Read! Thanks:laugh:

zoombaby

After eating peanuts I can gain up 3-4kg up until evening, even tomorrow scale showing more weight then I actually have, it depends are you worried about your total body mass, or total body fat. Because that its clearly water, similar thing happens if your Sodium intake varies. What you should really bean concentrate its how do you look in front mirror, 1 pound + - its irrelevant.