Legs want to run but mind won't allow it

chrishg

I had an over protective mother. She didn’t like me climbing or running around in case I fell over. Looking back, one of the best ways she had to keep me still and safe was to tell me that I was no good at sporty things and better suited to books and academic pursuits. This carried with me all the way through life – even the gym coaches in my school gave up, telling me I had no aptitude for exercise and letting me off class to go sit in the library or play music. Trouble is, even though I was never destined to be competitive at sport, I should have been encouraged to develop a relationship with exercise that allowed me to be a healthy adult working out at a level I was comfortable with.

So now I’m beginning to try, but the thought of getting out there and running or cycling brings on the sweats and a paniced feeling even before I’ve looked out my shorts. When I do actually do something my mind is constantly telling me “You’re no good at this. People are looking and laughing. Just quit and go home.” Thus I have a battle with my thoughts about exercise that, so far, means my legs probably don’t get challenged! I’m determined to beat this though and to introduce exercise in my life that won’t be at an Olympic levle but will be good for me.

Any friends in a similar situation would be welcome

Chris

jodiegauv91

I had a sort of similar experience when I was a kid. My parents always told me I was no good a sports and my teachers would easily give up and let me stand in a corner while the others chased a ball.
In my last year of high school, I started jogging with a friend. I felt like I was terrible at it but being with someone pushed me. Starting to run alone was a whole other story. I felt like people were staring at me and making fun because I wasn't any good at it.

Now it's 4 years later and I've been trying out all kind of sports. I've realized that no one is judging me and that exercise is something that you do for yourself and not for others.

It doesn't matter what your level is, as long as it feels good! I believe with time you'll manage to get past that feeling. It's also a question of finding the right sport for you that you'll feel comfortable with! Maybe something you never did before?

dutchk

You know the old saying, "walk before you run"? Holds true here too. I walked for three months before I considered doing anything else. I lost a good deal of weight during that time and gradually built up my pace to 3.5 and 4.0 mph. Does wonders for your confidence with respect to self improvement, not to mention reaching your goal weight. Start with a 20 minute easy pace, ten minutes out and ten back. Get an App like RunKeeper or MapMyRun to help track your progress. Also, get a pediometer. They're inexpensive, (though for about $100 you can buy the fitbit Ultra that has more bells and whistles) and help provide incentive. Shoot for 10,000 steps a day. Once you feel confortable with 20 minutes, add 5 minutes out and 5 minutes back. Before you know it you'll be walking an hour, mapping your walks, looking for hills to climb, etc.

BTW, I believe most people these days would look at someone who is trying to take charge of their life to become healthier and applaud, not laugh.

jonchew

You know the old saying, "walk before you run"? Holds true here too. I walked for three months before I considered doing anything else. I lost a good deal of weight during that time and gradually built up my pace to 3.5 and 4.0 mph. Does wonders for your confidence with respect to self improvement, not to mention reaching your goal weight. Start with a 20 minute easy pace, ten minutes out and ten back. Get an App like RunKeeper or MapMyRun to help track your progress. Also, get a pediometer. They're inexpensive, (though for about $100 you can buy the fitbit Ultra that has more bells and whistles) and help provide incentive. Shoot for 10,000 steps a day. Once you feel confortable with 20 minutes, add 5 minutes out and 5 minutes back. Before you know it you'll be walking an hour, mapping your walks, looking for hills to climb, etc.

BTW, I believe most people these days would look at someone who is trying to take charge of their life to become healthier and applaud, not laugh.

What ^^^HE^^^ sez - I was the same way, total non-athlete. I started walking around a track, after several months of this - ramping-up the speed, I decided to try to run... it was humbling, couldn't run for 30 seconds without feeling winded and getting a cramp in my side.

I discovered that 80% of my problems were in my head - and I was trying to run too fast too soon. Walk till you feel that you can run for a bit. Run for a bit, until you get your confidence up somewhat... then go for something like Couch to 5K - a great program that has made it possible for me to run 5K 3X/week.

AnnaMGP

I actually had a Doctor that wouldn't let me play anykind of sports. I did tend to be accident prone so he made me take a summer PE course before my 9th grade year because it wasn't as strenous. Then when I mentioned trying out for any kind of team he told me I wouldn't be able to pass the phyicals so not to bother. Now I have a hard time getting activie at all. I am trying though. Just started do WII fit and get up and move at least.

gavini

can you find a running club of group or a cycling club in your area? being with others will seem terrifying or daunting at first but it will do wonders since you will inevitably find someone your speed and most likely many people will be slower than you which will help you feel more at ease or "normal." you will also chat while you run which will keep your mind from wandering and finding things to worry about.

also, many others you see may look awkward and or out of shape and hopefully this will help you wrap your mind around the fact that nothing you are doing is strange/abnormal/wrong or a reason for people to judge you poorly or laugh at you. you are just a person going for a run and you are doing it just like everyone else does, slower than some, faster than some.

FlyByJuly

When I do actually do something my mind is constantly telling me “You’re no good at this. People are looking and laughing. Just quit and go home.”
Chris

I used to be like this (well, sometimes I still do feel that ppl are looking at me). But you know what? Instead of hearing the voice inside telling me that I'm no good at this, I started telling myself "I can do this. It may take me longer than I want it to, but so what? I CAN do this." And sometimes when I feel like ppl are looking (or staring, or laughing at me), I will look directly at them, and see that they actually are not even looking my way. Sure, you'll get the occasional tool who will yell crap at you, or point and laugh, but...who the hell are they, anyway? Just keep on keepin' on!

The issues with your mother while you were growing up....uhm. I'm sorry that happened to you. I understand that she didn't want you to get hurt, but she went about it all wrong. Forgive her for that. I believe she meant no harm. I'm pretty sure she had no idea of the psychological harm she was causing to you. It's a hurdle you'll have to jump over. Maybe you'll need professional help with that, maybe not. But as far as your running and cycling, get out there, do it, get strong (physically AND mentally), and DO NOT "just quit and go home!" You can do it!!!

nejaustin

Many running store either have a couch to 5k program or know of one. Try it, it is great to have a group in a similar situation as you. Also don't compare yourself to the others you may see on the trail, but to those that are driving home in their cars to sit on their couches!

chrishg

Thanks all. Motivated by your kind words I got the bike out and managed a 7 mile round trip. 500 calories apparently (always amazed how much effort is required to burn of less than 2 chocolate bars!). As usual, the reality of the exercise was much more pleasant than the thought of it. Just have to turn it into a habit now.

ba18ba18a

Chris I sure am glad you got out the bike and went for a ride!

I never played any team sports growing up and was more of an artsy kid in school so I have never been or been encouraged to be an athletic person. I feel awkward even when i go for a walk even though I realize people have better things to look at than me while they're out there doing their own thing. I'm kind of getting over it though...I just remind myself that I'm DOING IT rather than sitting by watching someone else do it wishing it was me.

Good for you for getting moving!

slkehl

Great job! Biking is a wonderful way to get the exercise in. I also feel less awkward on a bike and don't feel like people are looking at me. The more you do it, the more confidence you will get, both from learning that you can do it and from looking more fit. You can do this!

SenshiV

In my case is mind want to run legs won't allow it..up to a certain point of course.

happypath101

I was inspired by the Olympics when I was a kid. I remember clearly my Mom looking at me and saying "pride is painful" when I tried to mimic those athletes. Maybe she only said it once. But, it stuck. (Mom, by the way, is 300+ pounds. She's great in other ways, but a healthy role model for food and exercise she is not.)

Sometimes I hear those words in my head STILL. (I'm 42). I took up team sports at 28 and have played twice a week almost every week since. I'm still surprise that I'm pretty good at it.

It's not a matter of being boastful or proud in the way my Mom meant. But, I'll spin it and be proud. Proud that I can get a hat-trick. Proud that I can run 10km. Proud that I can bikram yoga.

Think of the all geniuses who were sent home from school for being a dunce. Or those who were incredibly sucessful in business - late in life.

We get to make who want to be. We are NOT who are told we are.

:O)

robpett2001

Thanks all. Motivated by your kind words I got the bike out and managed a 7 mile round trip. 500 calories apparently (always amazed how much effort is required to burn of less than 2 chocolate bars!). As usual, the reality of the exercise was much more pleasant than the thought of it. Just have to turn it into a habit now.

Fantastic! Now you know you can do it!

I fought similar challenges with my doubtful, worried mind. My biggest progress has come when I've told my brain to shut the heck up and I've allowed my body to show what it can do. It sounds like that's exactly what you're doing -- you are off to a great start, and you're going to really enjoy your new, fit lifestyle!

How far are you going to ride tomorrow?

vick9180

I don't know if this is helpful or not, but I've been an athlete since I was a freshman in high school...I was pretty good at the whole running thing. When I see others at the gym, or outside doing anything physical, my mind immediately thinks, "Good for them! They're working towards a healthy lifestyle." And I think that no matter their size or shape. The last thing that would ever go through my mind is anything judgmental in a negative way.

I hate to hear that people actually tell others that they shouldn't try something because they wouldn't be good at it. Who are they to tell you what you are capable of? You are capable of doing anything you put your mind to! Those nay-sayers will be eating their own words when you come around and show off your accomplishments. You go for it! Go run, or walk, or bike, or play football, or whatever your heart desires for activity. There is no specific type of person that should be doing exercise. It should be a part of everyone's lifestyle. It's not only meant for athletic people or people who would be prone towards success in sports. How do you know what you'll be successful at if you don't at least try it? And success should never be based on comparison to Olympic caliber athletes. You should measure it against yourself. None of those atheletes started out breaking world records right off the bat. They had to train and work hard for those records. And I don't know if you watched the Olympics, but I saw several athletes who got personal records, didn't medal at all, and were completely happy with their performance because they bettered their own record. Compete with yourself to get better at whatever activity you enjoy.

And an example of what can happen...my daughter is pretty clumsy. She trips over her own two feet. But she wanted to play soccer. Who was I to stand in the way of her desires? So we enrolled her in soccer and she has ended up having great ball control and she's fast and agile. So to anyone who's been told they weren't good enough to do something, go out and do it anyway! Even if you're one way in your day to day life (ie clumsy), you could end up being great at something else, even something sports/exercise related.

dad106

If you want to run, then try C25K.. it builds you up over 9 weeks to running 30 minutes or 3 miles.

I've never ran a day in my life and I'm due to complete the program latter on this week.

I also never played sports.. mainly because I was tall and everyone aimed for my head.. and I hated it!