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Dogs VS Cats

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. *kitten*! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now..

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  • mydogmesa2
    mydogmesa2 Posts: 205 Member
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    Dogs VS Cats

    Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
    8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
    1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
    7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
    11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


    Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
    Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. *kitten*! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now..
  • banks1850
    banks1850 Posts: 3,475 Member
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    Ha! that's awesome.
  • kistinbee
    kistinbee Posts: 3,688 Member
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    So cute! Thanks for sharing!!:laugh: :bigsmile:
    *Kistinbee*
  • deanea
    deanea Posts: 1,437
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    Oh my gosh....I have three cats...who would have known all those playful things were actually assassination attempts!:bigsmile:
  • ltsoccermom
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    That is GREAT!!:laugh:

    I have 4 cats and a dog. I our household the dog is captive and the kitties have a kitty door to come and go as they please. Ha and they all come back even though I try as I might to encourage them to find other homes. I adopted a feral colony now we only have 2 ferals and 2 domestics. The ferals know they have it good!! The domestics keep trying to give them their walking papers but they continue to come back. Dog loves his kitties but jealous of us giving any attention to them.

    Thank you for a great laugh when I needed one.

    LtSoccerMom
  • lotusfromthemud
    lotusfromthemud Posts: 5,335 Member
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    :laugh:

    this is now "my favorite thing!"
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: That is so funny!!! I have two cats and I can swear those cats are always trying to kill me. Probably because I won't give them my food. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • jbuehrer
    jbuehrer Posts: 285
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    cute.. that is so true:laugh:
  • pam0206
    pam0206 Posts: 700 Member
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    Loved it. :laugh:
  • jessneill
    jessneill Posts: 380 Member
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    So funny! :laugh: