Treated differently...

Giggalump

Has anyone who has been both fat and thin notice how people treat you differently based on your weight?

Please comment...and tell me how you react, both internally and externally, to comments...both good and bad.

I ask this because I've noticed that because I'm fat now...from chemotherapy...I've gained about 70 lbs since starting treatment 2 years ago...I seem to get less respect for my opinions and ideas than I did when I was thin. I also get less "attention" from people. Not just from men, which is definitely a downer to a single woman, but also from women, who don't seem to want to be close friends or get to know me, which is a downer for a single mom who moved to another state, leaving a multiude of wonderful friends and awesome support network, in the hopes to get some of the best medical treatment I could find.

The weight gain has had a huge negative impact on my life, both internally and externally. I'm focused on extending my life as long as I can for the sake of my almost-8-year-old daughter, but sometimes I just want to scream at people that I'm the same wonderful person I was 70 lbs ago...and I'm fighting cancer...it's not a willpower thing...it's not low self esteem...I'm fighting for my life! So I just ask for a little support, not looks of disdain...that if you knew my story, you'd have a helluva lot more respect for me than you seem to just because I'm FAT!!!

Thanks for reading my rant. I feel (slightly) better now.

albayin

I don't know. Personally I treat people based on how they behave. There are skinny b****s and also gold hearted big people.

However, when I was a child, I was considered as "fat gir" at school. My PE teachers always laughed at my face every time when I failed at gym.

avir8

I think this is due to a lack of confidence. People don't pay attention to someone who doesn't seem sure about themselves, skinny or fat. Right now all that matters is your health so you can be there for you child. Here's hoping for the best for you so just speak your mind and believe in yourself

free2live72003

I was overweight my whole life---325lbs at my heaviest. Over the last 18-24 months i have lost 165lbs.

The difference in how I have been treated is huge.

I was mocked, harassed, and ridiculed as a child and as an adult--I am now 52 years old.

To this day i still expect to be jeered, laughed at and disrespected when i walk past a group of teenagers and I am surprised now that they do not even notice me. What a relief!

If I had a flat tire, or needed help carrying something when I was overweight almost no man would help me--now, it is not nearly as hard to find someone that will assist me.

Before, I was judged by strangers for everything I ate. If not verbally then definitely by their looks of disgust. Now--though not thin, I am encouraged to eat more.

The biggest thing I have had to try to get used to is that now people look me in the eye and smile--before, when i was obese, they rarely did.

I feel your pain--it is so wrong that you are being treated the way you are regardless of whether it is due to chemotherapy or a struggle with obesity. We are all valuable individuals and deserve tobe treated as such.

katrinkap

i totally understand where you are coming from as the way people are treating you. i work in a high school and when girls or boys complain of others bullying them (basically that is what these people are doing to you...) i try to help them understand that the person who is being disrespectful, feels horrible about themselves therefore they take their angry/depression out on others. keep your head up.

you are a great role model for your daughter and me. anyone who can battle cancer and still remain an amazing person inside and out, is an angel sent from God. i adore you. feel free to add me if you need to rant anymore

i hope you have a wonderful evening!

weird_me2

"The weight gain has had a huge negative impact on my life, both internally and externally."

I think the internal impact the weight gain/illness has had on you is more of a factor than the weight gain. I get more respect and attention now than I did in the past when I weighed 75 lbs less. The difference is in how I project myself. When I was skinnier in the past, I was completely unhappy with my body and my life and I'm sure people picked up on it. I didn't feel good about myself and I'm sure peopel noticed. Now, even though I'm heavier, I have lost some weight from my highest and am more confident about myself, and I dress and walk and talk like I am proud of the person I am, not the person I want to be.

I am sorry for your struggles and wish you the best success in your weight loss journey!

sugboog29

Growing up I was always the "skinny" sister and I hated how people looked at and treated my sisters. Then as an adult I began to gain weight and started to feel how my sisters felt. I've always tried to treat everyone equally, thin or heavy, short or tall. I am amazed at how people look at heavier people like we have the plague. Most overweight people are stereo typed and that is so wrong. God made us all different for a reason!

Good luck with your journey and know that there are many people here who will never judge you.

AddieOverhaul

I've never been really big, but I went from quite thin (but with a large chest), to chubby after gaining 50 pounds. Now I've lost about 33 of those 50. From what I've observed, I had more issues with women when I was at the thinnest. once I gained weight I guess I wasn't a threat so it was a lot easier to form female friendships. Now that I'm about average I don't notice much either way.

In terms of men, I get a bit more attention when I'm thin to average, but still got quite a bit when I was chubby. Lots of guys seems to like a bit of meat on their women.

Rocbola

Yes, people treat me like i'm a human now. It's kind of sad, but that's the way it is. I can't really explain it, but i'm glad i'm not the only one who noticed it.