He says I "work out too much."

kassiebby1124
kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
in Motivation and Support
My friend and I have an interesting relationship, but that's now what we're discussing. We're discussing that he says I'm exercising too much or something. I told him that I'm taking up kickboxing now (SO EXCITED HOLY CRAP) and he like, flipped ****.

I dunno if he's mad because I'm changing and he's not or he's worried I'm gonna ditch him or something or what. He's over 300lbs and I'm trying to stay away from that point. I told him that I try to do something vigorously active 6 times a week. He wasn't happy about it, but he accepted it. But when I told him about the kickboxing, he told me that was bad and just stopped talking to me completely...I dunno what I did. Or why he's mad. I just wish he'd support me...

Replies

  • Littlegurl
    Littlegurl Posts: 172 Member
    It's just like any addict, they don't like it when their friends 'kick the habit'. If u go back to unhealthy habits it doesn't take him feel bad for doing the same. Keep doing ur thing girl! Stay strong! If he's a good friend he will stick around and encourage u and maybe eventually jump on board. Either way, do this for u!
  • HelloSweetie4
    HelloSweetie4 Posts: 1,214 Member
    maybe he's a afraid you're going to kick his butt after you learn kickboxing. hehe
  • Carlissa3332
    Carlissa3332 Posts: 9 Member
    I think its great that you wanna kickbox. I started in May and I love it!! I think sometimes when you make a decision to change something that you dont like such as losing weight, eating healthy, and becoming more active it makes other people feel threatened because of their own insecurities..keep pushing and dont let anyone discourage you from meeting you fitness goals..all the negative comments and attitudes are apart of the weight loss journey..stay focused and dont let it bother you
  • JennifercitaDEgomez
    JennifercitaDEgomez Posts: 79
    They just think that we dont care about them no more!!! same my husband, he says am obsessed with my treadmill and working out ... jajaja but is just mad that he has to be looking out what to do at home by him self while am doing all my routine AT HOME as well.!!!! they just seem like we are not on top of them, we care less. but he will get over it!! dont worry!!
  • akg90
    akg90 Posts: 9 Member
    i think you are doing a great job! your an inspiration to me.. i wish i could take up kickboxing!!
    my husband (who is 300lbs) always tells me when i get down to my goal weight, im going to leave him for someone thinner.. but he is trying to be supportive through this
  • kassiebby1124
    kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
    It's saddening, but he reluctantly supports me. There was a time in life when he wanted to work WITH me, but I dunno what happened to that drive. He claims he can't work out anymore or lose weight despite he wants to.
  • TinGirl314
    TinGirl314 Posts: 430 Member
    I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.
    I had a similar situation....A friend of mine decided that he was going to start buying me food when they went out to eat. I asked him not to (Restaurant food isn't worth the guilt to me anymore!) and he kept doing it so I just...let it go bad.

    Hopefully once he sees how much happier you are being active he'll jump on the band wagon.
    I used to be 350-375 pounds and it's just no way to live. :(

    Keep your chin up though! Don't let it effect YOUR goals. :)
  • angeldove85
    angeldove85 Posts: 25
    He might be going through a hard time. I know working out is good for my body and mentally makes me feel better. However, if I'm really pushing myself, for whatever reason, it brings up a lot of anxiety and freaks me out- I'll be crying in tears usually at the end of some work outs. Maybe he has a lot of self-doubt and he's scared of failing himself and you. Maybe he's tried a hundred times already to work out and diet, but it hasn't stuck. Self-doubt can really ruin a person- especially if they're not the type to reach out and ask for someone's support and encouragement.

    Keep taking care of yourself- that's the ultimate goal in this, but also try to encourage him on his journey. (I so envy you- I'd love to try kickboxing- just don't think my knees or asthma are up to the challenge just yet)
  • suzan06
    suzan06 Posts: 218 Member
    I am sure all the previous posters are right on.

    However, it doesn't hurt to take a step back and make sure you are being reasonable with your exercise, are taking enough rest days, and aren't letting exercise become too much of a focus to the detriment of other activities you enjoy.

    Not saying that is the case, but whenever we get opinions from people we care about, it is a good idea to take a minute to make sure we aren't missing something that the other person is seeing. Good luck with you weight loss and healthy living journey.
  • kassiebby1124
    kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
    I'm feeling like part of it is self doubt..
  • SteAnnMui
    SteAnnMui Posts: 129 Member
    Kassie, I think I remember you from 3fatchicks, I recognize your username and profile picture.

    I've seen your posts for awhile now and you have come very far. I remember you having trouble with buffets when you were first starting out and it looks like you have overcome so much to be the healthier person you want to be.

    I agree with those that say he is like an addict, if they are not ready to change they do not want you to change.

    Everytime he gets upset about you making healthier choices or working out, invite him to come along and do it with you. Maybe showing him he can do it too might help, maybe it won't.

    I hope it works out for you.
  • kassiebby1124
    kassiebby1124 Posts: 927 Member
    Kassie, I think I remember you from 3fatchicks, I recognize your username and profile picture.

    I've seen your posts for awhile now and you have come very far. I remember you having trouble with buffets when you were first starting out and it looks like you have overcome so much to be the healthier person you want to be.

    I agree with those that say he is like an addict, if they are not ready to change they do not want you to change.

    Everytime he gets upset about you making healthier choices or working out, invite him to come along and do it with you. Maybe showing him he can do it too might help, maybe it won't.

    I hope it works out for you.
    Yup that's me (: and thank you for the advice, and to everyone else as well
  • Littlegurl
    Littlegurl Posts: 172 Member
    Kassie, another thought. Maybe u could invite him to do something fun and physical like a game of tennis, a brisk walk in a park together, etc. something to just break him into being more physical and showing u want to spend time together. That would also show that ur not expecting him to jump into a hardcore exercise program that he thinks he might fail at...
  • kini324
    kini324 Posts: 239 Member
    I'm sorry your friend isn't more supportive. I have a friend like this too. I believe it's just her unhappiness with herself and she's projecting it on me. She knows she can change her life, but she hasn't found the key motivator to get started and stay committed. The same with your friend. You represent what he COULD do but doesn't.

    Hang in there and never doubt yourself! Be supportive and understanding, but stay true to what you want!

Categories