It hurts so bad...(2)

BossyGirl

Thanks so much everyone. Everyone is so wonderful to me now. Its just so hard. The moment I feel like I grasped this, it hits me that I WILL NEVER see my mom again. We got her funeral arrangments around today. She was cremated today also, that was her wish. God it just kills. I just seen her healthy and alive 2 days ago. My family has never been closer then it has right now. And Im so worried about my dad. I feel like I will never be the same person again, I have worried about my mom for so long. she has had mini strokes and always in pain. We think she had an anyurism. She was comfortable in her bed when my dad found her. its.....i caan barly type. Thanks so much for all the support from everyone. I went to work and cried with all the nurses today. we were all like a big family. They are hopefull going to plant a tree in her memory. she worked for them for 25 years. She was so excitied that i was going to be on her unit. I dont know if I can work on that unit now, walking by her empty desk. My mom didnt have a very good life..lots of hurt and health problems and struggled with weight. she drank alot and my dad does too. I was pretty much her only "normal" child, thats why I was so determined to make her proud. I wanted her to feel like she didnt fail as a parent. I moved out at the age of 16. My mom suffered with depression. I just cant explain of bad it hurts to know her pain, how she was depressed and sick all the time...never feeling good.
I know I will greive for a very long time.
I know I will come out a stronger person.
I will make her proud.
God I miss here so much I wish I could just wake up from a horrible dream.
I would give anything just to tell her I loved her one more time and to kiss her.

ali258

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mom knows that you love her. And just from your post, she had to have been so proud of you and all of your accomplishments. It's great that you have a big support system with your work and your family. I'm sure everyone would understand if you couldn't work on your mom's unit now.

Thank you for sharing your story.

-Alison

sandra400

you have already made her proud!!:brokenheart:

BossyGirl

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mom knows that you love her. And just from your post, she had to have been so proud of you and all of your accomplishments. It's great that you have a big support system with your work and your family. I'm sure everyone would understand if you couldn't work on your mom's unit now.

Thank you for sharing your story.

-Alison

Thanks so much for the support. I WANT to work on her unit....she was so happy that I was coming to work with her. Its a hard unit to get on (OBGYN). I want to do it in her honor. I just have to find the streght and pull myself through it. I want to do it for her.

jovan107

Sorry for your lost. I lost my grandma five years ago she was diagnosed with lymphoma, but she died from a heart attack. She was overweight and that's my reason for losing weight. She's proud of you and I hope you work on her unit.

pcbta

I'm so sorry too...I can't even imagine. I do know that you will see her again though...

Cindy

wks7777

oh no hunnie im so sorry!!She is definitly proud of u!!Ur family will be in my prayers!

TNTPete

Your posts just break my heart and I wish I could give you a hug right about now. I think at this time you have to allow your body and mind to feel what it wants - there is no greater loss than the one you are experiencing.... everything you're feeling is normal.

I hope you feel better and are able to remember the good times and to honor her how you feel would be best when the time comes.

Take care and I will call my mom too - thank you for reminding me of how precious life truly is. God Bless.

Girlmom282109

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I too lost my best friend 13 years ago. She was my sister and she passed away suddenly. Life does get easier but there are days still that I think I am going to wake up and she is going to be here with me. Remember, she loved you with all her heart!!!

AwMyLoLo

Bossy, I am so so sorry for your loss and pain. I can only imagine what you are going through. :flowerforyou: Hugs

havingitall

I am so sorry for your loss. It hurts a lot to lose a mother. Mine passed away 3 1/2 years ago very suddenly and I still miss her each and every day. Look after your dad. He will need a lot of support.

As well, look after you. These kinds of things can cause us to neglect ourselves. Make sure you eat right, sleep and get some mild exercise. It all helps to cope with stress.

Agian... I am so sorry for your loss

Phoenix_Rising

(((hugs)))