If u dont know someone, and no one asks for ur opinion....(v

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wks7777
wks7777 Posts: 230
in Health and Weight Loss
U should really keep it to urself. I received a message from a person on here saying that i look unhealthy in my pics when i was thin. It was rude and i dont appreciate it. Then she wants to argue with me about what i said back to her. Like seriously i just want to be left alone. If i say that i have a goal weight its an estimation, if mfp had a i would like my body fat % to be on ur profile as opposed to weight it would be more accurate. Dont tell me i look better with weight on, cuz i have a body fat percentage of 43% which is unhealthy and i want to be healthy, i want to look good for myself. Talking about someones weight to them is a very sensitive thing especially if ur opinion wasnt asked for. Sorry for the vent it just needed to be said, needless to say this person has been blocked, i have enough drama in my life i certainly dont need it on here.
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Replies

  • VballLeash
    VballLeash Posts: 2,456 Member
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    Don't worry about what other people think girl! :happy: You have to do whats right for YOU, and your doing great, keep it up!

    ~Leash :heart:
  • stef_e_b
    stef_e_b Posts: 593
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    Yeah some people are just jerks. As women we constantly have to deal with peoples judgement and its crap.

    BTW I think you look awesome!
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
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    Is it possible to have 43% body fat at 155 pounds?
  • strongandfit
    strongandfit Posts: 231
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    Are you serious? Someone did that to you? That's just not nice. Just went to your profile and looked at all your pics and I think you look fabulous. I think they're just jealous. It's ok to vent. And I think you did the right thing of blocking them. If they start doing anything on the forums to make you feel uncomfortable, just report it to Mike. There are forum rules to follow.

    Anyways, keep up the good work of eating healthy and working out. Don't focus on this person anymore, ok? Congratulate yourself on all the hard work you did instead. :flowerforyou:
  • slimmingmom
    slimmingmom Posts: 297
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    I looked at your pics and you look wonderful! Don't listen to that person!
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
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    While I agree, they shouldn't have out of the blue emailed you on that, in the spirit of MFP community, I'll offer a friendly suggestion:

    Assuming it was all emailed tastefully, and not done in an overtly hurtful manner, keep in mind that this person was just trying to help, as misguided as that email may have been, it doesn't sound like it was done to hurt you. Some people just don't have the same concept of boundaries as others. Lets not get all over someone too much.

    The same thing could be accomplished, IMHO, with a reply email that states nicely but emphatically that you appreciate the concern but are trying to be healthy and aren't trying to starve or develop an eating disorder (essentially politely saying "it's none of your business").

    Sometimes the written word can not convey emotions on here the way we like. I'd hope that whom ever this was, was just trying to be supportive (in a bit of a twisted way). Anyway, that's my thoughts.
    MFP is a great community, but it's still a diverse community, because of it's nature, and the deeply emotional nature, sometimes feelings will inadvertently be hurt.
  • BrenNew
    BrenNew Posts: 3,420 Member
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    Is it possible to have 43% body fat at 155 pounds?



    This Brenda is wondering the same thing too. :huh:
  • Hannah_Banana
    Hannah_Banana Posts: 1,242 Member
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    Is it possible to have 43% body fat at 155 pounds?



    This Brenda is wondering the same thing too. :huh:

    Wouldn't that mean that your lean body mass would be 88 pounds? Maybe if you were 4'10?:huh:

    You could be very short, we aren't judging. :wink:
  • wks7777
    wks7777 Posts: 230
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    im 5'2 and well when i was younger and i was 5'2 (been the same height since i was 12) i weighed 95 lbs, so sounds pretty close. the 43% was taken when i was 160ish so its probably a little lower now but regardless im still in the "overweight" category, and thats just not okay with me nor will it ever be.
  • LittleSister
    LittleSister Posts: 207 Member
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    Wow, that stings.

    I know she was just trying to help, but how is that different from someone saying "You look unhealthy being so fat"?

    Isn't it the same thing? If someone told me that I looked unhealthy because I was fat, I'd punch them in the nose.

    I know a couple people who are extremely thin - they can't help it. One has muscular distrophy, and the other is just bone thin for some reason, and has been trying her whole life to gain weight.

    People think they're public property, and that it's OK to comment on how skinny they are. These comments are hurtful and rude. You'd be amazed at how many strangers and casual aquaintances think it's perfectly fine to say "You should gain some weight!" to them.

    It's tricky in here, because this IS a weight loss forum, and we want to be supportive. I really like it when someone posts their before and after pictures, and then people say "Wow, you were beautiful before but now you look fantastic!" or commenting on how hard they worked to lose weight and congratulating them. Nobody ever says "Wow, you sure were fat! You looked like you were about to have a heart attack!" because that would be rude.

    Just my 2 cents worth.
  • vanimami
    vanimami Posts: 433 Member
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    That is hurtful. People always do that...oh you look great why do you want to lose weight! I know what I want to look like and everyone's idea of looking good is different, so unless asked, they shouldn't be giving their opiniong...and if she wanted to give her opinion she should have approached you in a nicer fashion. Sorry to hear about your bad experience :flowerforyou:
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
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    She shouldn't have said what she did, at least it was sent directly to you and not on some thread. You look great! I too have been the same hight since I was 12...only five feet and was 85 pounds prior to my pregnancy and now I weigh 90 (only hit 120 when I was 9 months prego). It's just how my body was made. Just keep doing what you're doing and ignore the comments.


    I personally do not believe that this is just a weight loss forum-I'm on here to gain muscle (I've already lost the weight-only 5 pounds worth). I'm on here for the fitness.
  • wks7777
    wks7777 Posts: 230
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    none of those pics of my body is how i look now i wont take pics of my body right now
    That is hurtful. People always do that...oh you look great why do you want to lose weight! I know what I want to look like and everyone's idea of looking good is different, so unless asked, they shouldn't be giving their opiniong...and if she wanted to give her opinion she should have approached you in a nicer fashion. Sorry to hear about your bad experience :flowerforyou:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    Is it possible to have 43% body fat at 155 pounds?

    yep!! I did. I am only 5'2" and very small boned. I am still 30% fat with losing to 133 right now and working out with weights. I could easily go to 110.........I won't because I am 48 and I want some fat on my body........I like the curves (to fill in the wrinkles :laugh: )
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
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    none of those pics of my body is how i look now i wont take pics of my body right now

    Well then, you looked wonderful and I'm sure you can get back to it. I don't have any full photos of my posted because it looks as if I'm about 3-4 months prego. I'm still trying to get rid of the tummy pooch from my prenancy (my daughter turned 6 yesterday)...it's been a long process. I know that most of it's excess skin and there is nothing I can do short of a tummy tuck but I'll try my darnedest to get my abs back.
  • vanimami
    vanimami Posts: 433 Member
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    none of those pics of my body is how i look now i wont take pics of my body right now
    That is hurtful. People always do that...oh you look great why do you want to lose weight! I know what I want to look like and everyone's idea of looking good is different, so unless asked, they shouldn't be giving their opiniong...and if she wanted to give her opinion she should have approached you in a nicer fashion. Sorry to hear about your bad experience :flowerforyou:

    That's why she shouldn't have said what she said and made assumptions. I think you look great in your pictures and not once did I think you look unhealthy. You know what looks and is good for you and she doesn't. Keep doing what your doing and reach your goal, you're not out there to please anyone else but yourself :smile:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    I was 105 in my early 20s and even after having my daughter at 27 I was 110. I look at the pix now and I as really cute. Not skinny....healthy looking.

    AND please make sure you get pictures of you now for your babies. You will want them later, believe me I know. I have a 10 yr span with no pix of me because I was too fat.

    Now my kids have nothing to look back on and OH YEAH, I wasnt all that bad after all!!!

    Enjoy life. Lose your weight to get healthy and show your kids how to eat.

    :drinker:
  • wks7777
    wks7777 Posts: 230
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    oh girl i know! My gut wahhhhhh! i hate it, if i dont keep my stomach sucked in i look the same way!! i need a girdle for real! i used to have the best stomach and after my babies its the worst part of my body...next to my thighs. We can do it tho!!!
    none of those pics of my body is how i look now i wont take pics of my body right now

    Well then, you looked wonderful and I'm sure you can get back to it. I don't have any full photos of my posted because it looks as if I'm about 3-4 months prego. I'm still trying to get rid of the tummy pooch from my prenancy (my daughter turned 6 yesterday)...it's been a long process. I know that most of it's excess skin and there is nothing I can do short of a tummy tuck but I'll try my darnedest to get my abs back.
  • AwMyLoLo
    AwMyLoLo Posts: 1,571 Member
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    Is it possible to have 43% body fat at 155 pounds?

    yep!! I did. I am only 5'2" and very small boned. I am still 30% fat with losing to 133 right now and working out with weights. I could easily go to 110.........I won't because I am 48 and I want some fat on my body........I like the curves (to fill in the wrinkles :laugh: )

    You're 48?!?! I would have guessed 37 by your pics, you're so cute!

    To the OP - Don't worry about what other people think. Do what is right for you, be healthy, be happy. :bigsmile:
  • wks7777
    wks7777 Posts: 230
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    i have pics of me..just not of my body, my current profile pic is me now. I do want to get healthy and im obsessed with my kids eating healthy (its our biggest fight!) but im learning all the tricks, hoping it will eventually become natural for them to eat well...my 19 month old is the toughest!My 3 1/2 yr old eats great as far as veggies, fruits, and meats my problem with him is the whole grains!
    I was 105 in my early 20s and even after having my daughter at 27 I was 110. I look at the pix now and I as really cute. Not skinny....healthy looking.

    AND please make sure you get pictures of you now for your babies. You will want them later, believe me I know. I have a 10 yr span with no pix of me because I was too fat.

    Now my kids have nothing to look back on and OH YEAH, I wasnt all that bad after all!!!

    Enjoy life. Lose your weight to get healthy and show your kids how to eat.

    :drinker:

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