My 10yo Daughter is Obese

quamira_c

to be honest her eating and work out habbits start with you. when you go food shopping try not to buy junk food that dose not mean to NOT buy snacks just healthier ones and try and limit tv and computer time (easier said than done i know). a lot of kids are obese because their parents buy so much junk food and fast food and they try and say "idk why my son/daughter is so overweight" be mindfull that im speaking in general idk what you feed her on a daily basis but everything starts at home. you are on your weight loss journey which is more of a lifestyle change and that should go for everyone in your household not just you. getting healthy for your kids should be just that you getting healthy so that it will transfer over to her. but go easy small changes are easier for her to handle (we all know how kids can be with throwing fits and what not) but you'll get there.

danasings

This is a very sensitive subject for me, so I will try not to be snarky. I hope you have been telling your daughter that she is beautiful exactly as she is. I hope that as a family you will engage in more physical activity and eat healthier foods. I hope you have never, never, NEVER told her she is obese.

The worst thing you could do is put her on a diet. Actions speak so much louder than words. My mother put me on a diet when I was seven, and by the time I was 19 I was a raging bulimic with full blown body image disorder. I am 40 and still dealing with it (obviously).

That having been written, I am glad that you are asking for help. Show her love, compassion, kindness and grace. Teach her to love and respect her body by showing her through your example how to eat well and stay active. Tell her she is beautiful every day. And, most importantly, do NOT PUT HER ON A DIET.

Hope this helps. Best of luck. :flowerforyou:

ellehcimyelhsa

She looks very healthy to me. If you are concerned, I would take the advice some others have offered and take her to a pediatrician.

I can understand not wanting her to learn bad habits and become unhealthy like some examples in her life that you mentioned. That being said, you making healthy changes is setting a good example for her. Give her healthy options, don't try to control everything she eats and count her calories. That will set her up for a lot of issues with food. For her stats, her BMR for a sedentary lifestyle is almost 1700. Judging by the fact that she has a pony, I'd say her lifestyle is not sedentary.

I commend you for being concerned about your daughter's health, but no need to be so strict. Just cut out the processed stuff.

DoxieLove10612

The picture of the child in question is more centered on another girl. Off center is a girl on a pony; that is the child he is referring to.

EnchantedEvening

Given that you and her aunt have been 400+, you might want to talk to her doctor about insulin resistance. It's a genetic disorder and can cause weight gain even with a reasonably healthy/active lifestyle. Instead of the insulin turning glucose into energy, the glucose goes into the liver and gets stored as fat. They have medication for it, and you have to adjust your diet to somewhat low-carb.

I was diagnosed with it after having blood work done, and after being on medication for a few weeks and watching my diet, I've already lost 15 pounds.

It's a common side effect of PCOS (they tend to go together). Since your daughter is maturing, I would highly recommend talking to her doctor about your concerns. Please try not to phrase it as something that is her fault. My parents/family lectured me about being fat from childhood onward, even though I kept saying something was wrong and I shouldn't be gaining weight so quickly. At one point, I gained 40 pounds in two months even though I ate 2000 calories/day (when I was 25, not 10). So even though I'm losing the weight now, those hurt feelings are here to stay.

DaisyMomOf4

I think u r being a loving, pro-active parent by showing concern. I hav never been in that situation with my boys but i do agree with checkin with her peds dr. Shes a beautiful lil sweetie.. Keep luving her and telling her shes beautiful..

MommaKit79

My Daughter is ten years old 4' 10 and weighs 117. she is considered obese by the BMI calculator for children I found online. I have set up a MFP profile for her but had to fudge the numbers because it only allows for someone born in 1994 or older. It says she should eat 1200 cals per day. My question is simple. Is this right? I have been reading today that with kids it is not about weight loss as much as maintaining a healthy lifestyle and letting the height catch up to her weight. I want her to learn the good habits now while she is young. I also don't want her feel like we are saying "you are fat" or feel like she is being punished. She has been walking with my wife and shows horses competitively at a pretty high level. We are trying to handle this in a positive manner because the last thing she needs is to develop a negative body image at a young age.

Make it a family affair!! Start by first not buying the junk...You are her parent and you guys are the ones who buy the food for the house. If you are like my husband and when you take the kids to the store, if they say they want something you cant help but get it for them, start not taking her with you (not saying you are, just saying...I know saying NO to the kids is rough). It is a good thing she is walking with your wife...that is a great start.

Again, make it more of a FAMILY GETTING HEALTHY deal. My parents ALWAYS got on my brother about his weight when we were younger and now, he is Very Obese. It is good you are acknowledging you do NOT want to go down that path. Everyone in the family should start making the healthy choices. We are eating healthy in my house now ebcause I want our girls to grow up knowing how to eat healthy and not have to struggle with learning how later in life like I am.

GOOD LUCK and just remember, it will be a long process...just keep her active, eating healthy, and be positive with her!! OH...and you probably already do but, remind her everyday how beautiful she is!!!

{I didnt read any other posts so sorry if I repeated anything anyone else said...}

aloha311

I don't want to scare you but if she is 11 and already "obsessed" with food you might want to look deeper into what is going on. I started counting calories and watching what I ate at 10 years old by 16 years old I had been in and out of treatment for anorexia. I would honestly start really looking closely at her eating habits because it sounds like an ED in the making.

I just set up an account for my daughter (11 year old). She is not overweight but obsessed with food. I want to help her see that she is not eating a lot of calories. It also set her up at 1200 calories. A couple weeks back, I looked on line and you can find sites that help determine the calories needs for children (and it is higher than 1200 calories). I plan to do that for her then trick the program into setting her daily her daily goals at that number.

Note for Myfitnesspal - consider enabling children to establish accounts with their parents' permission and oversight and calculate child-appropriate numbers.

impyimpyaj

The picture of the child in question is more centered on another girl. Off center is a girl on a pony; that is the child he is referring to.

Ah, well that clears up some things. Still, she does not look "obese." She looks like she's carrying a little extra pudge. Still, as I said earlier, don't get a kid started on counting calories. Keep healthy foods in the house instead of junk. Don't keep soda around for daily use (but for crying out loud, let her have a soda at her friend's birthday party or whatever). Serve dinner from the kitchen, filling the plates at the counter and then going to the table, so that she's not going to grab second helpings unless she's ACTUALLY still hungry. And keep her active. Period. Don't count calories for a child. Don't start HER counting calories, or worrying about calories. Just teach her healthy habits.

The thing about chubby kids is, they already know they're chubby. You don't have to tell them. They've heard it from other kids. And as parents, our job is not to judge. Our job is to love them anyway, and not point out these things to them. Teach healthy HABITS, not fat avoidance.

Momjogger

YOU MUST CONSULT YOUR DAUGHTER'S PEDIATRICIAN. DO NOT JOIN THIS WEBSITE FOR HER. Join this website for yourself if you want. My daughter only lost weight when I made different choices for myself and my WHOLE FAMILY. Here are some helpful, healthy, normal changes that I made for everyone in my family.......do not have any junk food in the house. period. I got rid of ice cream, chips, and cookies and replaced them with pudding, yogurt, special K bars, nutrigrain bars, granola bars. and especially fruit. I also make smoothies for her with nonfat Greek yogurt, milk, stevia, and frozen strawberries. I also make "banana ice cream" with blended frozen bananas. Only one "junky" snack a day, veggies with every lunch and dinner, and smaller portions at meals.NO JUICE EVER. Only water and milk and occassioanlly Stevia sweetened, no calorie bevereages. Still hungry after a meal? Have fruit. Hungry an hour before bed? Drink a large glass of water. I also make sure she plays sports, takes bike rides with me, and we go for walks together. If you make these changes, I promise you she will be at a good BMI in no time. My daughter lost two pounds and grew 4 inches since I instituted these changes. DO NOT TALK ABOUT DIETS, HER WEIGHT, WEGHT LOSS, ETC. I talk about being healthy and making good choices FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY and we all do this together..Good luck.

skylark94

I think you need to choose a different picture. Most folks here seem to think the girl leaning on the fence is your daughter, even though you did say she's the one on the pony.

Talk to her doctor. Don't rely on internet friends and calculators for this.

sherpasmom

Just chiming in, be the example! And another vote for making this a family commitment to healthy. Now that I'm walking again, guess who wants to walk / bike ride by me? My daughter! And there's amazing opportunities for talk and sharing too. Same with food

Best of luck!

ukulele2010

The people who reply to this thread and discuss their own issues with weight are so off base. This thread isn't about you... As far as I can tell, the father is a loving father who perceives a problem and wants some advice. Yes, he will talk to a pediatrician - he may be looking for other advice so he knows what to ask at the pediatrician's office.

NataBost

What has her pediatrician said? That is my first question because she's not fully physically developed as yet. Also, as an aside, I work with BMI charts every once and a while through my employer. A t4'10" and at 10 years of age, the chart I have access to for children 6-15 YOA states that a range of 68-143lbs is "preferred". But as several people have said, Pediatrician first!!!!

117 is not obese for someone who is 4'10.......I think you need to speak to her doctor before you damage your daughter. And 1200 is insane for a child....

Actually, according to the CDC, 117 is considered obsese for a 4'10" child:

http://apps.nccd.cdc.gov/dnpabmi/Result.aspx?&dob=4/8/2002&dom=8/21/2012&age=124&ht=58&wt=117&gender=2&method=0&inchtext=0&wttext=0

Why do you feel 1200 is insane for a child? Are you saying it's too high or too low?

1200 seems low, but I have no clue what I ate at that age, nor am I a parent. However I'd still go with a doctor's visit. A ten year old girl is still growing, and there are other factors like frame and health history. The BMI chart I referenced was for gaining insurance, so every carrier is different. Some are more lenient, others are far more strict.

KrazyAsianNic

Just make sure you involve her in stuff that she too will enjoy. I know i was overweight around that age and I hated how my parents went around me trying to lose weight. It only made things worse. For example, they had me on a veggie soup like 3 times a day and only that. I love veggies, but it's hard to eat mistrone type soups because it scars me.

KrazyAsianNic

another tip I have is to involve her in the cooking. Stock the fridge and cabinets with healthy stuff. if she's hungry, she'll learn to eat it. Let her think up ideas for meals too maybe.

jennifermaffei17

You don't need to put her on a "diet". Just change her diet and exercise habits. No harm in letting a kid have ice cream or chocolate milk now and then but make sure all meals are balanced and they get outside for 30mins to an hour per day and do something active.

If she "diets" now, you are reinforcing eating and weight issues she may or may not currently have. This can lead to body image issues, low self-esteem, and the development of eating disorders. Believe it or not, bulimia also includes binging then exercising in excess to rid the calories and weight. Be careful what you are doing....if this is not handled correctly, you are not helping your child but actually harming her.

VanessaHeartsMasr

I was a chubby kid. At 8, my mother sent me to a children's weight loss clinic. At 9, she put me on Herbalife diet shakes. At 10-11, she forced me to do daily exercise. At 12, she sent me to fat camp. I never felt beautiful. I rebeled and ate crap just to spite her. At 13, she gave up, and I did it my own way, the unhealthy way, because I hated my body so much. In my teens and 20s, I drank, smoked, did drugs, and got pregnant at 17 because I felt like no one would ever love me because I was "fat." Now, at 36, I'm obese. I look back and realize that she was just trying to help me because she loved me, but I lived my life feeling like a fat, worthless, ugly person with absolutely no self esteem. My advice, delete her account. Love her for who she is, tell her she is beautiful inside and out, praise her when she makes healthy food choices and make your family's lifestyle healthy with her included in it. Make sure she loves her body and loves who she is. That age is so critical in a girl's life. I'm a living example of this. Good luck.

nataliexxxx

Id get her to just eat healthier food and snack on fruits but not reduce too much shes still growing, if she stays the same weight and grows then her bmi will lower

Camille0502

I don't want to scare you but if she is 11 and already "obsessed" with food you might want to look deeper into what is going on. I started counting calories and watching what I ate at 10 years old by 16 years old I had been in and out of treatment for anorexia. I would honestly start really looking closely at her eating habits because it sounds like an ED in the making.

I just set up an account for my daughter (11 year old). She is not overweight but obsessed with food. I want to help her see that she is not eating a lot of calories. It also set her up at 1200 calories. A couple weeks back, I looked on line and you can find sites that help determine the calories needs for children (and it is higher than 1200 calories). I plan to do that for her then trick the program into setting her daily her daily goals at that number.

Note for Myfitnesspal - consider enabling children to establish accounts with their parents' permission and oversight and calculate child-appropriate numbers.

Oh, I am. I have already bought two books on EDs and am watching the situation like a hawk. She has a check up on Friday and I plan to talk about this with the doctor (with her out of the room).