help!

kaytbognar

I've struggled for a long time, not so much with losing weight and being fit, but with idea of it. I believe that you shouldn't have to change the way you look in order to feel good about yourself; that self worth should come from the inside and be based on who you are as a person. As a result, however, I've found that while my "internal" criteria for awesomeness still meets standards, I feel like crap physically and don't always like what I see when I look at myself in the mirror or in photographs.

I've decided to make a change to improve my physical self, which is why I'm here. I have no problem hitting the road for a jog or diving in for a swim, and I love the peace and focus I get from yoga but I still have trouble with feeling like I'm compromising myself and my standards, with feeling like my motivation comes from not being good enough the way I am. I want this change to come out of positive feelings, not ones of self-loathing. I'm making of point of discerning between feeling like I should *have to* change externally and accepting that I *want to* change for my own health and happiness, but it's hard.

Does anyone else have this problem? I'm sure I've used this mentality for a long time to let myself get away with being lazy and unhealthy, but it's a learned behaviour that I'm still struggling to unlearn.

Any tips, tricks or experiences with the mental aspect of battle of the bulge, and how to overcome it?

SatelliteCrush80

I've struggled for a long time, not so much with losing weight and being fit, but with idea of it. I believe that you shouldn't have to change the way you look in order to feel good about yourself; that self worth should come from the inside and be based on who you are as a person. As a result, however, I've found that while my "internal" criteria for awesomeness still meets standards, I feel like crap physically and don't always like what I see when I look at myself in the mirror or in photographs.

I've decided to make a change to improve my physical self, which is why I'm here. I have no problem hitting the road for a jog or diving in for a swim, and I love the peace and focus I get from yoga but I still have trouble with feeling like I'm compromising myself and my standards, with feeling like my motivation comes from not being good enough the way I am. I want this change to come out of positive feelings, not ones of self-loathing. I'm making of point of discerning between feeling like I should *have to* change externally and accepting that I *want to* change for my own health and happiness, but it's hard.

Does anyone else have this problem? I'm sure I've used this mentality for a long time to let myself get away with being lazy and unhealthy, but it's a learned behaviour that I'm still struggling to unlearn.

Any tips, tricks or experiences with the mental aspect of battle of the bulge, and how to overcome it?

I felt the same way when I was heavier, so I know exactly where you are coming from. The thing that clicked in my head was that if I loved myself enough to feel awesome about me at 250+ pounds, I should love myself enough to take care of my health by moving my body and feeding myself good food. The outside changes were just a bonus and now I feel even better about myself. Who knows, maybe the added activity will add to your confidence when you can push yourself and do more than you thought?

Hope that made sense!

ali258

First of all, welcome! I think a lot of us have struggled with feeling like we are good people, but also realizing that we might need to be more fit physically for medical or practical reasons. I lost weight a few years ago and never had that adjustment in my head to feeling happy and proud of my accomplishments. I stopped feeling like it was worth it to work out and eat right and now I'm back to where I started before. So, that's why this time, I'm focusing on my smaller accomplishments, giving myself rewards and appreciating when I can walk my dogs without getting out of breath or enjoying the extra energy I've got from eating the right foods. So, I think that's one step - just appreciating the smaller things.

The only way to really make a change is to do it for yourself and not for anyone else or society in general. Don't feel like doing yoga, jogging or swimming is for anyone but you. If your body feels good doing those things, do them and enjoy them. And if you get more fit in the process, enjoy the self-esteem boost that comes along with it.

Don't make it any harder than it has to be. You aren't giving in to anyone else when you do things that make you feel good. If your goal is to change for your own health and happiness, just focus on that.

Good luck!

-Alison

LittleSpy

I am definitely doing this for my health not because I feel the need to be more physically attractive.

If you think you're so great, why wouldn't you want to be healthy so that you can live longer and spread your greatness around longer?

Once I lost weight because I was concerned about the way I looked. As soon as I started dating someone seriously, I gained all of that weight (40 pounds) back PLUS an additional 30 pounds. Enter MFP. One day I woke up and it was seriously like I had a moment of perfect mental clarity. Everything "clicked." I thought, "WHAT am I doing?! This is crazy!" and I haven't looked back since. That was 2.5 months and 31 pounds ago. :happy: I'm doing this for myself (my boyfriend is actually overly concerned I'm going to lose too much weight & lose my booty :laugh:). I'm doing this for my health. I want to be the best me I can be. And that now involves being physically fit. Because that's what I want for myself.