Any moms with an ADHD child and nosy grandparents out there?

joders1313

Hi guys,

so I have this stepson who is in the process of being diagnosed with ADHD, he has lots of other issues too, this has affected his school to the point that we have decided to hold him back a year (he's a year younger anyways). He has improved since we got full custody and he's eating better, which was a HUGE challenge (mom was a fast food junkie) and he has more structure and discipline. He is counselling and we were also referred to a psychiatrist for medication (now I am a massage therapist, and my career is based on holistic healthcare and I wasn't so sure I wanted him on meds, but I am also a brand new parent of 2 kids that I haven't raised since birth so I was pulling my hair out a little) so we went to the psychiatrist, had a terrible experience (the guy handed my stepson a handful of gummy bears - a big no no if you've ever read any research into ADHD nutrition - and told him to wait outside, didn't see or talk to him but felt he could prescribe him concerta), so we tried this concerta for 2 days, the side effects were BAD, so I called the guy and he said to take him off and we would try something else or he would prescribe yet more drugs to deal with the side effects.

So that's the background, basically I've done my research and quite honestly our budget cannot afford the gluten free feingold diet, plus I know he would rebel big time! so I'm kind of eliminating the big problems like food dyes, and additives, and white flour. My question is has anybody had any success treating ADHD strictly with nutrition, and on top of that has anybody had to deal with a whole lot of unsolicited parenting advice, because my parents and his parents have no idea about this stuff and think we're just being mean, we went to pick them up from their grandparents the other day and they were both downing a whole bottle of rootbeer each before bed, we don't have a lot of support and I'm not sure how to word it that we really need their committment. Also does anybody have any good lunch ideas or any tips whatsoever to dealing with and ADHD/ODD child?

Thanks!

LorieLucy

My (almost) 12 year old son has severe ADHD. With him it's mainly lack of impulse control. He has zero natural ability to slow his body when it comes into his brain to do something. Because of it, he was constantly being kicked out of school (since preschool), couldn't follow directions and felt like everyone was against him and out to get him. Even though his behavior was the root of his hostile environment, all the could see was that nobody liked him and his self esteem took a huge beating.

He has been medicated for the last 3 and a half years. We found, after frustrating trial and error, that Adderall with extended release works well for him. Like you, we didn't want to medicate, but we tried so many other things first, including diet, no electronics, different parenting techniques, rewards, consequences, etc. and everything worked a little bit, but nothing prior to the medication changed his quality of life (or ours). The medication has been a game changer for my son. He gets along with others now, makes it through school without incident and can join groups and participate in sports. We can go places as a family. We can take vacation. We can have loving moments. None of that was possible for us before the medication. There are side-effects and we worry about that and try to have balance. And certainly we have to deal with people's judgements, even the doctors, but we are doing the best for our son that we can and all those judgemental people don't know us and don't know my son. They don't have to live with it. I remind myself of that regularly and if I get really down about it, I think to myself that they can go suck eggs! (Or other things not so nice.)

It's hard to know what to do with the grandparents. They matter more than most and if they don't get it, they can certainly make things more difficult. My son's grandparents aren't always helpful. But they are more helpful than not, so I just give limits where I can and accept them for who they are otherwise. Sometimes I have to make the choice of getting a break - and some time for my honey and me - knowing that he will be eating fast food, playing video games and watching more tv than I'd like. Sometimes we suffer the consequences of that later, but we need that time too, so we just try to keep a balance.

Good luck with your journey. I hope you find whatever it is that works for you and your family! (I like the quote from Galaxy Quest, "Never give up! Never surrender!" But I'm cheesy like that. :])