It says Introduce Yourself and so I will.

This might be long since I write a lot. And babble. I'll go talk about why I want to lose weight. Semi-extensively. So hi, I'm Joey. I'm 18. I hate the way I look.
Don't get me wrong, my face is MARGINALLY attractive but I don't like my fat. I wish it would all go away but "size two clothes don't come to those too lazy to sweat".
It all started when I was 12, I was like really fat. 187lbs. That's 85 kilos. And I got diagnosed with hypertension. And my doctor showed me that I'm literally TOO FAT for my age and height, being just a few pounds heavier than Obese 2. Obese 3 wasn't available anymore.
I lost weight over the summer because of health reasons and when I came back from school everyone was freaking out over how much weight I lost. It was a good year. But then the summer after, I gained a bit more weight. Entirely too much weight in my taste. And that's when I started stopping myself from eating. I hated the way I looked. I hated the way my body felt. I hated how FAT I got. My friends told me I was fine but I didn't want to hear it. They didn't understand how I felt. How I wake up and see myself in the mirror and NOT LIKE WHAT I SEE. It was horrible. This went on for my whole high school life. I hated my body. I hated that even though I tried to exercise I always end up giving up because I feel like I'm not losing weight at all. I couldn't just NOT eat because I couldn't escape the maids.
Sure I could just NOT eat but they'd rat me out to my mom and then a lot of **** happens and just grehj;riugjerd urgh.
I just wanted to rip it out, the fat I mean. Just rip it out and be done with it. Not be fat anymore. Not to jiggle and have man boobs anymore. Not to feel bad about myself.
But then this year, I just said **** THIS **** I'M GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT DAMN IT. So there. I'm still struggling. I feel like I'm not losing any weight. Whenever the wind blows against me, I cross my arms because my manboobs are showing through the fabric. I feel insecure every time I go outside because I feel fat in my clothes and that everyone can see how fat I am. I feel the urge of just NOT EATING at all. But I can't do that because then how can I exercise if I don't have energy? I just squeeze at my fat sometimes and say GO AWAY NO ONE WANTS YOU. I lead a very sad life. (Half-joking.)
I don't really want to be muscular. No abs, no huge arms. I just want to be lean enough to stop jiggling, that's all I want. I just want my belly and boobs gone and I'll be happy. "Perfect" is what I call it. It's my definition of perfect. You can't tell me there isn't a perfect because I have one in my head. And I'm going to get to it.
Hopefully before September ends.

Replies

  • MamaKeeks
    MamaKeeks Posts: 234
    Welcome hun. You will find the support you need to succeed here! Commit and you will succeed. Can't wait to hear you say you love your new body!

    Food is fuel, and your body needs it - never stop eating. Just do it right!

    Are you ready to exercise? What do you plan on doing to work out?

    Congrats on starting your journey! :flowerforyou: