On vacation. Having a hard time.

chickchickadee

I'm on vacation right now with some friends. I am having a good time catching up with everyone, but people keep taking pictures... One of the ways I've been able to keep my distance from accepting my rapid weight gain is not looking at pictures of myself. Pictures are, obviously, something that happens on vacation and I'm not about to be one of those people who ducks out of the frame whenever someone whips out a camera. So, today, I've been subjected to pictures of myself from every imaginable angle. I can't hide from the camera and I can't hide from the weight. I look so bad. I've had to go off by myself and process a few times today just to deal with it. I'm practically in tears. I need some freedom. I don't want to wallow or let this completely derail the time. But I am going to face these pictures and feel this pain and hopefully it will be an impetus to reclaim my body as my life's vehicle instead of my emotions' waste basket. I'm not resolved or hopeful or recommitted or despairing or upset. I'm just...sad. I think that's all there is to it right now. There will be a lot more pictures over the next few days. Is it wrong that I don't want this low (hopefully brief) point in my life documented? Can I say, "I know this is selfish, but seeing pictures of myself is more than I can quite handle right now"? To pose this question like a 4 year old, how do I stop being sad?

wazzanz

Think about your next vacation and how great you can look for for that. No point dwelling on it now.... enjoy your vacation!

lustrebass

First - love and accept yourself, just as you are. Maybe your weight is not what you want it to be, but that does not define you or your worth. (This was the hardest step for me!)

Next - smile for the camera, because no matter your weight, you are beautiful and worthy and should enjoy every moment of your vacation.

Next - Get active. Dancing, swimming, walking, whatever is available to you. Enjoy some activity with your friends each day of your vacation. Have fun!

Finally - Make smart food choices. Vacation can be a hard time to eat healthy foods especially if you're eating out a lot, but pay close attention to what is available and make the best choice possible each time you choose.

When you get home, continue using this as motivation to get into some healthier habits for the long run.

Good luck!

ChunkiChica

You are beautiful. Right now. When you wake up in the mornings, greet yourself in the mirror with an "I love you!" Then, consciously make one healthy choice a day. Be proud of that choice, even if you find that you make some poor ones in the process. The weight is a reflection of your *past* decisions. But you, you are not your weight! Think of all the fun you are having - the photographs are to remember the good times, not the bad! So don't get upset about the photos. It's hard to work on lifestyle changes during a vacation, but focus on one healthy choice a day and realize that you are you - you are making a daily commitment to yourself. And you can be proud of that person staring back at you in the photos!

chickchickadee

Thanks!!!

myohana4

I know exactly how you feel! I hate having my picture taken. I have avoided it for a few years and it really hit me when I had to send a family picture in for my daughter's school and couldn't find one. That is when I decided to take control of my life and my weight. I still delete pictures that I don't like the way that I look. But I have also learned how to "pose" for pictures which makes me feel more comfortable.

But more importantly, I want you to know that you are not your weight. You are so much more than that. You already are making wonderful improvements and taking care of your health. Sure...you may not like your weight right now...but you are on the right track! Try to enjoy yourself. So sorry that you are sad.

126siany

These are your "before" pictures.