Can't commit - anyone else experience this?

Apocalypse_Meow

There is no special trick , tool or rule. You just have to do it.

jynxxxed

I really think that the people who struggle most with this are the people who change their eating habits drastically and then expect to stick with it. For many, that's simply not possible. Most people can't go from eating large amounts of pizza and junk food, to say.. eating on the Special K diet and having a few bowls of cereal and stuff like that with no "real" food.

Eat what you want and just budget it in. Set yourself limits.. like only one 'dessert'-type junk item a day so you won't binge on it. Fit everything within your calories/macros and don't worry about the rest.

When you get more structured in the future, maybe begin replacing some of the 'junk' you eat with healthier options. Try to not expect too much too soon.

tryinghard71

Did the same thing. Was always starting over and over and over. I agree with all the other posts. When you want it bad enough it sticks. Now I get pissed off if someone plans an event that makes me miss a workout. It is number one to me.

dodihere

It has to be exactly that...a lifestyle. Don't think of it as a diet or you will fail for sure, because you limit yourself on your food and then you binge. Make it routine. Make it a habit. Like brushing your teeth or making your bed. Just because its the weekend do you stop brushing your teeth and making your bed? Do you stop brushing your hair just because its the weekend? No, you do all those things because its habit, a routine.
Another thing, how bad do you want to be healthy or lose weight? Your body can't change if you don't change your habits. If you always do what you always did, you will always be what you always were. Period.
So if you want it...go get it! work for it!
Put it this way...
You don't get it by STARING
You don't get it by WISHING
You don't get it by DROOLING
You don't get it by HOPING
You don't get it EASY
You get it by
Getting off your *kitten*
WORKING for it
EVERY SECOND
of EVERYDAY
for the rest of your LIFE.

I have this pinned beside my computer monitor, beside my dresser mirror, inside my lunch tote, its everywhere! To remind me, that if I want to change my appearance and my health, then this is what I have to do. Period.

Hope this helps, but in the end you have to do what works for YOU. And this works for me.

what she said

jacksonpt

Is it a commitment flaw or am I just fighting some very hard-to-break habits?

IMO, it's some of both.

Old habits/lifestyles are hard to break. Motivation often comes with progress, and for a lot of people, good decisions lead to more good decisions, but bad decisions (being lazy, eating poorly, etc), lead to more bad decisions.

Could also be that you're just not ready to make the commitment.

CrisN99

I used to get SO mad when people told me I didn't want it bad enough. But thats what it is. Just like quitting smoking, or drinking- in order to lose weight you have to fight your head and do the right things everyday. The down side is that you just can't eliminate food like you can tobacco or alcohol. You have to actually get in your head and do the work.

So everyday, just do what it takes. I have been in a plateau for TWO MONTHS. And I am still giving it everything in my workouts, and eating according to plan because I know for a fact two things. 1. Bad diet and no exercise definitely does not get me results, and 2. At some point, my body will stop fighting my efforts and I will lose again.

You CAN do this. You have to want it. Then work like crazy to get it!

mcn79

When I kept trying and failing to lose weight it was for one of two reasons. Either I wasn't ready (like others have said) or I was too extreme.

It is my opinion that if you aren't ready quite yet, that is ok. Start observing your behaviors... notice if there are certain foods you overeat or trigger you to take more. Think about if there are any emotional "triggers" for you, etc. Once you observe and recognize things, it is easier to change them. Also, if you don't already, learn to accept yourself as you are now.

That being said, if you are ready, I second the suggestion about taking a look at the link that was posted in another response... Dan's "road map" post and don't be afraid to eat more calories than you think of as a "traditional" diet. I have lost almost 20 lbs over the past 2 1/2 months and I can truly say I haven't felt deprived once. Trying to get the most out of your food choices helps, too. I don't do it 100% of the time, by any means, but when I eat empty calories, I notice!

Dragonnade

Look at how you succeed at other things in life and see if you can work that in to losing weight.

For instance, I'm ridiculously goal orientated but I also need to have control. So I set goals to do with exercise and try and keep a deficit. I tried goals for losing weight but the lack of control meant slight angsty hissy fits when I didn't hit them.

And the result is in the last 6 months I've lost about 4kg and put on 4lbs of muscle, just jogged myself to 9 1/2 km, did a rowing triathlon in the gym just for kicks and I'm the fittest I've ever been. And my bodyshape has just shrunk.

If you can link what works for you in other areas of life, you're more likely to succeed purely because you already know how to motivate yourself.

Helloitsdan

Pre log your diary the night before.

Add protein and fats first.
Add essential carbs in.
Like my diary today.
I made lunch first.
A wrap!
Did the protein and cheese, mustard and greens.
Decided on bread choices.
Since dinner is subway I opted to eat a wrap for lunch instead of flax rounds or bread.
If dinner was a salad then I would have chosen bread instead.
I always have slow carbs and a protein before bed.

Breakfast isn't really breakfast today so I'll spread my fruits around and eat them whenever I like.
I have about 100cals left over so I may have done chocolate.

You pre log then edit.
If you ate cooking for a family and you only eat dinner together then leave dinner empty and allow 500-800cals as a buffer.

stephiegirl1215

You don't want it bad enough...yet. When you make a healthy lifestyle a priority in your life, you'll find your level of commitment will rise to the challenge.

This, I love this. Also I would add that starting slowly may help you stick to it more. If you dive in restricting everything and pushing yourself really hard then you're bound to be miserable. Do what you think you can maintain and work in more healthy habits. Also finding healthy ways to incorporate your favorite foods helps me a lot, that way I don't feel like I'm restricting anything. Learning to enjoy small portions (200-300 calories or less) of really well prepared and good quality indulgences is a treat for your psyche but won't break your calorie bank. Also what worked well for me in the food department is to have your favorite healthy staples in the house and just make sure you eat those before you eat anything else in the day. That way you're either too full to eat things that aren't as good for you, or you'll save them for later as long as they fit in your calorie bank. Also stocking up on my favorite things that were healthy didn't feel like I was depriving myself cause I enjoyed those things anyway. I don't force myself to eat bananas just because they're good for me, because I hate eating them.
For fitness, just try to find something you like an start out 10 minutes of it whenever you can. Also just get up and walk around your house or office for a few minutes every hour or so. You don't even have to think of it as exercise, you just need to get your blood moving to take care of your body! Or to go get more water from the farthest place you can Make it work for you and you'll find you can commit to more and more things. Also learn to do your research. Google what exercises burn the most calories, are the most fun, are the most beginner friendly, etc. You'll learn great tips and maybe be motivated to try something new!

TheArmadillo

make sure the problem isn't that you're convinced you can't commit and so act in a way that fulfills this belief.

We all label ourselves to a certain extent - if you believe you can't commit, you won't. Because instead of pushing through when it feels hard you'll give up because you don't think you're capable of anything else.

You are capable. everyone is. You just have to realise it.

arcticfox04

I never committed. I just adjusted and tweaked to make it work.

LemonBurns

I had NEVER been an exerciser - in fact, exercise and I, for the majority of my life, have NEVER gotten along. <

---

This is the kid who faked a sprained ankle EVERY year to get out of Track and Field in school :laugh: I, like you, would have great intentions and I'd start something, just to find it 'too hard' or say 'I don't have enough time', or come up with some other bogus excuse and quit before I ever ever reaaaaalllly got started. Then, I saw this picture:



Umm - ewww... so I got determined. A friend told me about the C25k program and started running... it was Hard as HELL and I wanted to stop SO many times... but i was so sick of being fat, that i dug deep and thru sheer grit and determination I kept going!! The thought of cute dresses, short shorts and not having to suck in my tummy ALL the friggin time, inspired me... I wanted to be comfortable with ME (for once in my life) and I was finally sick enough of being FAT that I decided this was going to be the time I accomplished what i set out to do!

I adopted a motto, a mantra (if you will) "JUST DECIDE" - and sometimes I really do have to "Just Decide" to keep going. By saying "Just Decide" to myself, it gives ME the power!!... and is sometimes the difference between 5k and 10k - hell sometimes, "Just Decide" is the difference between getting out of bed rather than turning off the alarm and going back to sleep!... Trust me - sometimes I find myself having *small temper tantrums* in the middle of a run, but hey... I "Just Decide" to keep going... and I do... exercise is now addicting, I crave it, I need it, and I actually WANT to do it! Sweat is my Body Crying, and I love it!

Recently, I started weight training, too! AND Wowee - that is making an even bigger difference in my body! I wish i started doing this at the beginning!!! Cause I am seeing Muscles develop and I LOVE them, I am really happy these days, I feel good, I look good and I have WAY more confidence. I was right, I love to wear cute dresses, and short shorts AND I don't have to suck in my tummy all the time, I am now comfortable in my own skin - it happened... and all because I decided to "JUST DECIDE"!! Check it out:



So, how tired are YOU of being fat? Are you ready to "JUST DECIDE" to get the body YOU want, or do you want to continue to find excuses, give up (again) and be unhappy and uncomfortable? Lemme know if you want a friend who will both hold your hand and kick your *kitten* until you reach your goal... you CAN do this... go ahead... JUST DECIDE.

AnR28

I had NEVER been an exerciser - in fact, exercise and I, for the majority of my life, have NEVER gotten along. <

---

This is the kid who faked a sprained ankle EVERY year to get out of Track and Field in school :laugh: I, like you, would have great intentions and I'd start something, just to find it 'too hard' or say 'I don't have enough time', or come up with some other bogus excuse and quit before I ever ever reaaaaalllly got started. Then, I saw this picture:



Umm - ewww... so I got determined. A friend told me about the C25k program and started running... it was Hard as HELL and I wanted to stop SO many times... but i was so sick of being fat, that i dug deep and thru sheer grit and determination I kept going!! The thought of cute dresses, short shorts and not having to suck in my tummy ALL the friggin time, inspired me... I wanted to be comfortable with ME (for once in my life) and I was finally sick enough of being FAT that I decided this was going to be the time I accomplished what i set out to do!

I adopted a motto, a mantra (if you will) "JUST DECIDE" - and sometimes I really do have to "Just Decide" to keep going. By saying "Just Decide" to myself, it gives ME the power!!... and is sometimes the difference between 5k and 10k - hell sometimes, "Just Decide" is the difference between getting out of bed rather than turning off the alarm and going back to sleep!... Trust me - sometimes I find myself having *small temper tantrums* in the middle of a run, but hey... I "Just Decide" to keep going... and I do... exercise is now addicting, I crave it, I need it, and I actually WANT to do it! Sweat is my Body Crying, and I love it!

Recently, I started weight training, too! AND Wowee - that is making an even bigger difference in my body! I wish i started doing this at the beginning!!! Cause I am seeing Muscles develop and I LOVE them, I am really happy these days, I feel good, I look good and I have WAY more confidence. I was right, I love to wear cute dresses, and short shorts AND I don't have to suck in my tummy all the time, I am now comfortable in my own skin - it happened... and all because I decided to "JUST DECIDE"!! Check it out:



So, how tired are YOU of being fat? Are you ready to "JUST DECIDE" to get the body YOU want, or do you want to continue to find excuses, give up (again) and be unhappy and uncomfortable? Lemme know if you want a friend who will both hold your hand and kick your *kitten* until you reach your goal... you CAN do this... go ahead... JUST DECIDE.

Holy Moly, this is incredible!!!!

HotAshMess

I have posted and reposted this and I'm going to share it with you:


Thought for today...so many people seem frustrated this week with their gains/losses, ect. And I just want to say...Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither were you. That extra weight you're carrying, the bad eating habits, the self destructive behaviors (and we all have them)....those things didn't happen overnight. Many of us have been perfecting "fat" as a lifestyle for a long, long time. If you haven't given up in spite of a bad day or a bad week, if you've made just a few good choices in a week of bad ones, if you changed one old habit or are doing one thing differently then you are doing great. We can't reasonably expect to be different after 20+ years after doing something because we've decided to be. So, even if your scale didn't twitch or your measurements stayed the same...you're still building something new, and you're doing great. Changes will happen, we just have to remember it took time to get here...it will take time to get to where we want to be as well. Hang in there everyone!


...now, with that being said. It is hard to "commit" for a lot of reasons. Many of the mistakes many of us have made include "gearing up" for a diet and psyching ourselves out, feeling like we have to do better IMMEDIATELY. And quite frankly...it just adds too much pressure. You have a life, work, friends, family....sometimes I feel like I am always playing with my phone because I have to log immediately or I will forget what I ate (I record almost everything that passes my lips). It is hard to make MFP part of your life at first. The best advice I can give you is to start with small goals. Goal one....log every day, and be mindful of your calories. And when you accomplish your goals, find a new one.

A few more suggestions....buy a food scale. I use mine every day. Go to your local dollar store and buy extra measuring cups and spoons. I went and bought 2 more sets (1/4, 1/3, 1/2, 1 cup plus teaspoons/tablespoons for...you guessed it. $1). I suggest this because then you always have something to measure your food out with. I've also heard of people buying extra sets and then leaving whatever size they need right in the container ...for example: leaving a tablespoon in the Chia seeds (1 serving=1 tbsp), 1/2 cup in the cereal, 1/3 cup in the oatmeal. It varies for everyone but if you do this you will always have the measurement you need and maybe that will help you. Learn what your glasses really hold. Just because you bought glasses that are 8 oz, does that mean you fill them to the top for 8oz or an inch below? All styles are different. Grab your glass and a measuring cup and figure out what is a cup in your glassware....after you have an idea, you can eyeball it instead of measuring out a cup of milk every time. It is also a good idea to do this with yogurt and cereal. After awhile, you wont need to measure everything out and it will help you when you go out or eat elsewhere to be able to eyeball how much you REALLY have (people tend to think they have less than they really do).

2012asv

Yep. I think many/most of us do experience this on some level. The key is to KEEP GOING. Failure only happens when you give up completely.

Balance79

I had NEVER been an exerciser - in fact, exercise and I, for the majority of my life, have NEVER gotten along. <

---

This is the kid who faked a sprained ankle EVERY year to get out of Track and Field in school :laugh: I, like you, would have great intentions and I'd start something, just to find it 'too hard' or say 'I don't have enough time', or come up with some other bogus excuse and quit before I ever ever reaaaaalllly got started. Then, I saw this picture:



Umm - ewww... so I got determined. A friend told me about the C25k program and started running... it was Hard as HELL and I wanted to stop SO many times... but i was so sick of being fat, that i dug deep and thru sheer grit and determination I kept going!! The thought of cute dresses, short shorts and not having to suck in my tummy ALL the friggin time, inspired me... I wanted to be comfortable with ME (for once in my life) and I was finally sick enough of being FAT that I decided this was going to be the time I accomplished what i set out to do!

I adopted a motto, a mantra (if you will) "JUST DECIDE" - and sometimes I really do have to "Just Decide" to keep going. By saying "Just Decide" to myself, it gives ME the power!!... and is sometimes the difference between 5k and 10k - hell sometimes, "Just Decide" is the difference between getting out of bed rather than turning off the alarm and going back to sleep!... Trust me - sometimes I find myself having *small temper tantrums* in the middle of a run, but hey... I "Just Decide" to keep going... and I do... exercise is now addicting, I crave it, I need it, and I actually WANT to do it! Sweat is my Body Crying, and I love it!

Recently, I started weight training, too! AND Wowee - that is making an even bigger difference in my body! I wish i started doing this at the beginning!!! Cause I am seeing Muscles develop and I LOVE them, I am really happy these days, I feel good, I look good and I have WAY more confidence. I was right, I love to wear cute dresses, and short shorts AND I don't have to suck in my tummy all the time, I am now comfortable in my own skin - it happened... and all because I decided to "JUST DECIDE"!! Check it out:



So, how tired are YOU of being fat? Are you ready to "JUST DECIDE" to get the body YOU want, or do you want to continue to find excuses, give up (again) and be unhappy and uncomfortable? Lemme know if you want a friend who will both hold your hand and kick your *kitten* until you reach your goal... you CAN do this... go ahead... JUST DECIDE.

You Rock Lemon!!!

jcpmoore

Here's my tip: Sit down and ask yourself why you're doing this. What is your goal? Why do you want to accomplish it? Why is this important? The real reason, not the one you tell everyone else. Maybe it's your energy level, your kids, your social life, or you just hate the way you feel when you wake up. Whatever. Write that down. When you reach day 4 next time and decide that you don't need to try so hard, look at that piece of paper and think about why you started this journey. Is it still important? If not, then maybe you don't need to be here at all. But I'm guessing the answer will be yes. So read that paper, recommit every few days be reminding yourself this isn't about weight-it's about your *real reason for doing it.* Everytime you wan to cheat, ask yourself which is more important-the cheat or the reason for doing this? I think you'll find that this is where the real motivation lies.

billiegirl17

OMG - I hear you. I do well for a few days, even a week, but we socialize (and this always includes food and beverages) a lot and it's so hard to stay on-track. And then once I goof - it takes me several days to get back on track. I need to find a way to stay on track while eating out and going to parties where there is just way too much temptation. Any suggestions?.

ullgetthere

I totally understand the yo yo part! I'm in the same boat as you and I ask myself ''am I ready to commit'' . I wrote down all of the reasons this morning why I want to lose weight and I realized that I had a lot more than I thought. Try writing down the reasons why you want to put in the efforts. I'll add ya as a friend and we can motivate each other!