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APawli1224
APawli1224 Posts: 80 Member
in Chit-Chat
Okay so I have seriously started losing weight at the beginning of the year.. Since then my sons father and I have broken up, moved into different rooms, can barley have a civil conversation and he treats me like a low life.. The reason why I am still staying here is because I dont drive so I cant get a job or my own place and all my family is 800 miles away.. (I live in TN currently and they dont believe in public transportation) I have a 2 year old so it is not as easy as one two three.. Anyone else have issues like these due to you bettering yourself?
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  • Jonalee1977
    Jonalee1977 Posts: 415 Member
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    I don't know how you can consider this bettering yourself when you're still living with an *kitten* who treats you like crap. You need to get your driver's license, get a job, and get the *kitten* out of there. If you're truly that miserable, you'll figure out a way.

    I'm sure your family would move you back home if you asked them. If not, then you need to go to a women's shelter where they can hook you up with the right connections to get yourself on your own two feet.

    Is this going to be easy? No. Scary? Yep. Worth it? Absolutely. Now put your nose to the grindstone and do what you have to do to truly better yourself.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    I don't know how you can consider this bettering yourself when you're still living with an *kitten* who treats you like crap. You need to get your driver's license, get a job, and get the *kitten* out of there. If you're truly that miserable, you'll figure out a way.

    I'm sure your family would move you back home if you asked them. If not, then you need to go to a women's shelter where they can hook you up with the right connections to get yourself on your own two feet.

    Is this going to be easy? No. Scary? Yep. Worth it? Absolutely. Now put your nose to the grindstone and do what you have to do to truly better yourself.

    Ditto this.

    Put on your big girl panties and get yourself together woman. If not for you, for your child.
  • APawli1224
    APawli1224 Posts: 80 Member
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    I can go home that is not an issue mt issue has always been not wanting to take my son away from his father.. What would the advice be to leave? Just pack up one day while he is not home and leave back to my home town? Legally what could happen with my child?
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    Have you considered making him some sammiches to see if he treats you better?
  • APawli1224
    APawli1224 Posts: 80 Member
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    Clean the house everyday, make him lunch for work (never takes it), make dinner almost every night, wash his clothing, did basically everything.. He is just pissed that I am losing weight and guys show attention so now I am the bad person.. Either way I am done with trying to make it work.. Maybe I just need to look into a lawyer back home and move on.. Just sickens me to take my sons father that far from him
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
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    Have you tried TALKING to him about this?
    How come he is insecure?
    Has he been cheated on before?
    Have you explained to him that, while the other boys enjoy window shopping, he gets the goods?
  • alarae
    alarae Posts: 263 Member
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    Call a friend for a ride, go get some advice/assistance, and get yourself and the kids out. Not a good environment for anyone.
  • reojames
    reojames Posts: 96
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    That guy sounds like a pathetic loser. I'm all for 'fatherhood', but if he treats his son like he treats you, my advice is to head on home....
  • LemonsAndCoffee
    LemonsAndCoffee Posts: 313 Member
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    Clean the house everyday, make him lunch for work (never takes it), make dinner almost every night, wash his clothing, did basically everything.. He is just pissed that I am losing weight and guys show attention so now I am the bad person.. Either way I am done with trying to make it work.. Maybe I just need to look into a lawyer back home and move on.. Just sickens me to take my sons father that far from him


    Do you honestly feel like the way you and your son are living now is better than the alternative??? Your son is the one suffering through all this. Don't kid yourself into thinking he doesn't pick up on the "bad vibes" in that house.
  • cannotfailunlessyoustoptrying
    cannotfailunlessyoustoptrying Posts: 90
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    Have you tried talking to him about it?
  • nlwilliamson
    nlwilliamson Posts: 225 Member
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    Seek out some legal advice in TN and in your home state, if you can, get out of there, its not a good environment for any of you, especially your son. If his dad realizes his mistakes, maybe you can sort something out when it comes to your child, until he can be civil it's a bad idea to stay.
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
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    Oh.. I forgot..
    What do YOU want to happen?
    Do you just want to be away from the baby daddy?

    Do you want things to get better with your baby daddy?
  • APawli1224
    APawli1224 Posts: 80 Member
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    I talk he yells or blows me off and says he doesn't want to "argue"..

    As I said either way I am not trying to work it out there is no hope for the situation.. Just needed some advice as should I stick around in TN or just go back home (TN being the harder part, cost of living, all the bills are in my name here, deposits, etc.. Buffalo I have friends and family) Basically the answer is staring right at me I just need to figure out the way to get my son, my dog and myself back to a safe environment where he does not need to suffer.. Thank you everyone :)
  • fififox
    fififox Posts: 394 Member
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    Ask yourself how you would feel if your son grew up to treat another woman the way your partner treats you? This would be unfair both on the other woman and on your son because he is learning from your partner that it is o.k to treat women that way. He will think that is 'normal'. I understand you wanting to keep your son near his dad, but in the long run it will not be a good life lesson for him. You need him to grow up in a positive environment where he witnesses respect in all of the relationshis around him.
  • TheNewDodge
    TheNewDodge Posts: 607 Member
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    Okay so I have seriously started losing weight at the beginning of the year.. Since then my sons father and I have broken up, moved into different rooms, can barley have a civil conversation and he treats me like a low life.. The reason why I am still staying here is because I dont drive so I cant get a job or my own place and all my family is 800 miles away.. (I live in TN currently and they dont believe in public transportation) I have a 2 year old so it is not as easy as one two three.. Anyone else have issues like these due to you bettering yourself?

    Why don't you drive? Why can't you get a job? Why can't you move?

    You can't be THAT dependent.
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
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    You have a 2 year old? You don't think he/she is affected by the hostility in your home? Give that some serious thought.
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
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    I can go home that is not an issue mt issue has always been not wanting to take my son away from his father.. What would the advice be to leave? Just pack up one day while he is not home and leave back to my home town? Legally what could happen with my child?

    As a girl who was raised without her father, and who is married to a man who was raised without his father, I understand your hesitation. But, you need to look at what kind of person your son's father is. Look at the way he is treating you. Is this the kind of role model you want for your son? Do you want him to learn lessons about how to treat people from this man?
  • PinkEnvyx
    PinkEnvyx Posts: 172
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    If you plan to devoice do NOT take the child out of the home far away without his consent. It is called kidnapping and the courts and force you to return the child to TN and you will have no where to stay.
    If you leave without your child is abandonment and he will have advantage if you go to court over child custody. If he is acting like this now I sure would not want him to have the advantage with your child. I would search legal canceling in your state it is usual free advice then decided from that point.
  • flobeedoodle
    flobeedoodle Posts: 176 Member
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    http://www.womenshelters.org/cit/tn-nashville

    I don't know where you are in TN, but from the way you describe your situation (no license, no job, no finances of your own, and a partner who is, at the least, emotionally and verbally abusive,) you need help. I would recommend starting by calling the women's shelter closest to you.
  • Monalisa85
    Monalisa85 Posts: 31 Member
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    You've got to take some responsibility here for your child. To say it will be easy would be to mislead you but we've all had to deal with difficult decisions and we can't play the helpless card if you really want to make the change. The best thing I did was to leave my daughters' father and as difficult as things were for us for a long time after, it would have destroyed them and me had I stayed.

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