Does the mind play tricks? or is it something else.

Persevere230

Currently I am getting rid of lots of junk in my house spring cleaning etc and found myself going through some old pictures of me. In my early 20's I was about 170 and looking pretty damn thin. Its funny cause back then I thought I was fat but actutally I was at a decent weight range. As the years went on ( now Im 38 yrs old 223 pounds) I am looking at the slow creeping of weight gain with myself and alot of my friends. To me its interesting how in my current body I have developed a sort of denial about my situation. Since I am in my skin 24/7 and look in the mirror 24/7 its hard to see a "problem" know what I mean? Its like I have eyes but I dont have EYES. :noway:

I am struggling to embrace my current weight situation and fully accept it. I accept it to a certain degree but not really. I have decent self esteem and am a motivated person in most areas of my life but with weightloss I continue to struggle.I give myself excuses that I am not "THAT BIG" and do the avoidance dance over and over again. I feel when you gain weight you get accustomed to where your body is currently and you adjust to it which makes it even harder because then you have to alter and shift a routine lifestyle you became accustomed to. It's kinda scary how weight CREEPS up on you. Its a gradual thing but still it feels like it CREEPS.:devil:

Anyhow that is my current struggle and its very frustrating. Do you feel the mind plays tricks or is it just you?

WickedPixie1

I think it boils down to a lot of things...fitness, perception and environment. I had an athletic body in my teens and early 20's. I got married, moved to a different country. I sort of felt out of place and I guess started eating more as a way to control my environment and didn't really go out much due to lack of friends.
When I look back to pictures in my late 20's, I weighed less then (140-160), but look fatter than I do now (about 190). The big change for me was fitness. I didn't have the eating/portion control aspect down, but I did start to work out. While I continued to gain, my shape did change with the exercise, so even though I was fatter, I was more evenly proportioned, so I look quite a few pounds less than I actually weigh.
I just go by the numbers now and try to focus less on the people around me. I could walk through the mall and see that at least half the people there are bigger than I am and the other half are smaller, but it gets me nowhere mentally. Focus on yourself, you know how big you are and you know where you want to be.
I think the fact you are here means you probably aren't totally convinced by your self denial, and your eyes are really starting to see. If you set smaller goals, you'll probably feel great once you achieve them. Mine right now is to get to 175...haven't seen that one in many, many years!! Just think how awesome 200 or 190 will feel to you!

redscylla

I strongly suspect that our perceptions of our bodies don't change much. I look back at my college photos and think about HOW HORRIBLY FAT I thought I was. At 115 lbs. At 185, I look at those pictures and wonder how I ever got the idea I was fat. Why have I always thought I was fat? Oh, right, because that's how I was taught to perceive myself.