Turns out I'm an "anger" eater

LittleSister

I used to discount all the advice given to us about "emotional eating." When I'm sad, I don't feel like eating. I don't even feel like eating when I'm depressed. I ignored all the advice about getting to the root of your feelings that lead you to eat. I figured I don't need to get to the root of the feelings. I know what the root is - food tastes good! Why do people want to have sex? Ride roller coasters? Go to a funny movie? It's fun! It feels good! What is all this nonsense of psychoanalyzing something that is blatantly obvious?

So if other people need to eat to mask their tender emotions, that's fine. But me, I'm a pleasure seeker, and that's all there is to it.

Well, today at work, I lost my keys. I was very annoyed by the experience. I searched my purse, my desk, the floor, I retraced my steps, and still, my keys stubbornly persisted in their absence.

I know this sounds illogical, but I was actually angry at my keys for not being where they were supposed to be.

I finally gave up searching for them. I ripped open a box of Girl Guide cookies and chomped until 6 were gone. Chomp, chomp, chomp!

Well, I learned they were at Security, which is in another building and about a 10 minute walk away. And it's bloody cold outside. So I piled on my coat & wrappings, and tromped over to claim my keys. When I got back, I recorded 20 minutes of walking. And then I remember that we're taking our daughter to see Zoo Lights tonight, which means tromping to the train station, tromping to the zoo from the station, tromping around the zoo, back to the train, etc. so I added 45 minutes of walking to see what it looked like.

Pretty much used up my cookie calories!

But I digress.

I thought about other times I've gone after potato chips, cookies, nuts, and other chompy things. I now realize that I eat when I'm annoyed or mad. So I guess I'm an emotional eater after all. Very interesting!

So don't anyone in here make me mad or I'll eat! (ha ha ha ha!)

ivykivy

I understand you completely. I started munching nasty words. When someone was talking and I really wanted to tell them to shut up and quit whining, I just popped something in my mouth. However I am learning to have conversations in my head or just call on the Lord. I usually vent later.

You know they say knowing is half the battle. When we recognize what we do we can make a plan of attack against it.

Girl Guide cookies? is that like Girl Scout? Is it that time of year again?

FireMonkey

Give me that remote or the Pringles get it!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Congratulations on your insight! :drinker:

amandadaisylotus

Oh I am most definitely an anger eater. The number one set off? My grandmother hassling me about something I'm already eating. I'm munching away on my 3:00 pm snack, a reduced fat cheddar stick, happy go lucky. She comes in and makes some smart comment about cheese or something or another (or hassles me about doing my chores and how she does SO MUCH around the house (which she doesn't, not really), etc etc etc.) It sets me off and just like ivykivy, I pop something in my mouth to keep from ripping her head off.

I didn't realize it though until an outing with my friends. One of them really really pissed me off telling me how to drive in the most annoying way possible. We were already going to the steak n shake, but instead of sipping a diet soda and munching on fruit which was my plan... I ate an entire meal. One that was REALLY bad for me. That was a while ago but that was what made me realize that my emotions do affect my eating.

Stress does it too. When I'm too stressed, I turn to food. I did it again today, stressing out over finals and made a really bad decision at lunch. Now I get to eat like a bird at supper to stay within my calories. :grumble: :grumble:

arewethereyet

Thanks for the eyeopener. I too said pshaw to the emotional eating mumbo jumbo....but just realized I do eat when angry and Ivy, I crunch to block out angry words and emotions.

Amazing. This is going to be my affirmation for my mirror this week.

:flowerforyou: Jeannie

arewethereyet

Oh I am most definitely an anger eater. The number one set off? My grandmother hassling me about something I'm already eating. I'm munching away on my 3:00 pm snack, a reduced fat cheddar stick, happy go lucky. She comes in and makes some smart comment about cheese or something or another (or hassles me about doing my chores and how she does SO MUCH around the house (which she doesn't, not really), etc etc etc.) It sets me off and just like ivykivy, I pop something in my mouth to keep from ripping her head off.

I didn't realize it though until an outing with my friends. One of them really really pissed me off telling me how to drive in the most annoying way possible. We were already going to the steak n shake, but instead of sipping a diet soda and munching on fruit which was my plan... I ate an entire meal. One that was REALLY bad for me. That was a while ago but that was what made me realize that my emotions do affect my eating.

Stress does it too. When I'm too stressed, I turn to food. I did it again today, stressing out over finals and made a really bad decision at lunch. Now I get to eat like a bird at supper to stay within my calories. :grumble: :grumble:

Kinda like...................bam..........I showed YOU didn't I!!

ali258

I'm definitely an emotional eater. All emotions. It doesn't matter if I'm happy or sad or depressed or bored. I eat to avoid it. Funny thing is when I exercise, I can get my emotions out with sweat, and then my double benefit is that I don't waste my calories, and I've gotten some exercise in. I imagine that would work for anger eating too.

Good job on your insight! Those sure help on a weight loss journey.

-Alison

niaraquelle

I'm also an emotional eater as well as a clean sweep eater. The latter means that if I open something, I believe I should finish it. For example I bought some oreos I thought since I opened the package I might as well make sure it's gone. As a result I gained about a pound which is to be expected if you eat a pound of oreos in one week without exercising.

jessicajoy87

I am an emotional eater too. Unless it is extreme. But average day sadness, anger, irritation, I'm headed for the fridge! I am really trying to focus on why I am eating at the moment. Am I really hungry or just trying to push the feelings away.

LittleSister

I understand you completely. I started munching nasty words. When someone was talking and I really wanted to tell them to shut up and quit whining, I just popped something in my mouth. However I am learning to have conversations in my head or just call on the Lord. I usually vent later.

You know they say knowing is half the battle. When we recognize what we do we can make a plan of attack against it.

Girl Guide cookies? is that like Girl Scout? Is it that time of year again?

Yes, same as Girl Scouts! I'm not really all that clear on how it works, but here, we have Scouts Canada, and both boys and girls can join. So there's no "boy scouts." But we do have Girl Guides, which seems to be the counterpart to Girl Scouts in the States, because we have Brownies, etc. and the very same kinds of cookies that there are in the States.

I probably wasn't wise to do this, but when cookie time came, I just wrote a cheque for 3 cases ( 16 boxes in a case), so we "own" them now. I took them to work, and have been selling boxes out of my bottom filing cabinet drawer! So they're always nearby.

Phoenix_Rising

You know they say knowing is half the battle. When we recognize what we do we can make a plan of attack against it.

EXACTLY!!!

You can conquer the beast now that you know what it's all about.

Phoenix_Rising

I'm definitely an emotional eater. All emotions. It doesn't matter if I'm happy or sad or depressed or bored. I eat to avoid it. Funny thing is when I exercise, I can get my emotions out with sweat, and then my double benefit is that I don't waste my calories, and I've gotten some exercise in. I imagine that would work for anger eating too.

Good job on your insight! Those sure help on a weight loss journey.

-Alison

Me too! I eat boredom more than any other emotion, I think.
It's a hard addiction to overcome, and I backslide (like this past week), but I'm ready to start fresh today!

Phoenix_Rising

I'm also an emotional eater as well as a clean sweep eater. The latter means that if I open something, I believe I should finish it. For example I bought some oreos I thought since I opened the package I might as well make sure it's gone. As a result I gained about a pound which is to be expected if you eat a pound of oreos in one week without exercising.

I've never heard the term "clean sweep eater" but I'm guilty of this as well when I binge.

courtney_love2001

I always have to clean my plate or I feel weird...like wasteful or something. I have always been that way. I hate throwing leftovers away too, so I try to eat them all. It's a good thing, yet it's a curse as well

I have gotten better about snacking; I plan my whole day out on MFP the night before so I will know what I can eat and when. Sometimes it changes, but I try to stay in the same caloric value range for the snack. I do know that last year I was depressed about school, and I started eating TERRIBLE all the time. I would eat a whole box of mac and cheese for lunch, and then some pizza for dinner. UGH now I try to drink a lot of water if I get the feeling of boredom or stress.

ali258

I'm also an emotional eater as well as a clean sweep eater. The latter means that if I open something, I believe I should finish it. For example I bought some oreos I thought since I opened the package I might as well make sure it's gone. As a result I gained about a pound which is to be expected if you eat a pound of oreos in one week without exercising.

I've never heard the term "clean sweep eater" but I'm guilty of this as well when I binge.

When I want junk food, I try to buy the smallest size possible because I also have this mentality. I also get baked goods out of my house as fast as possible since I feel like I need to just eat them all and get it over with. I make it work into my daily calories, but I don't feel as good when I eat 1/3 of my calories in junk food. I get the little fun size cups of oreos or the snack size candy bars or little bags of candy so I get the feeling of eating it "all" but it can't do much damage since the little candies are almost all less than 100 calories.

-Alison

amandadaisylotus

I always have to clean my plate or I feel weird...like wasteful or something. I have always been that way. I hate throwing leftovers away too, so I try to eat them all. It's a good thing, yet it's a curse as well

I have gotten better about snacking; I plan my whole day out on MFP the night before so I will know what I can eat and when. Sometimes it changes, but I try to stay in the same caloric value range for the snack. I do know that last year I was depressed about school, and I started eating TERRIBLE all the time. I would eat a whole box of mac and cheese for lunch, and then some pizza for dinner. UGH now I try to drink a lot of water if I get the feeling of boredom or stress.

This stigma most likely follows us from parents pushing our plates at us with the ever present, "Finish your food, you know there are people starving in Africa." My grandmother is the WORST about it. She doesn't like fries, but Mom always orders her a combo meal at a restaraunt and if they're in front of her, she'll eat them, and all of them. And then complain that she doesn't like fries. -_-

I try to plan my meals but with my family life gets in the way, like last night we ended up going out to dinner because my aunt was on this side of town. Luckily a lot of places have grilled chicken plates now, with some mashed potatoes and a veggie. Usually anywhere from 400-600 calories depending on the sides/dressings. I have to say I've gotten a lot better about chosing places to go and always having somewhere in mind for when my mom asks me where I want to go. She used to get frustrated because she'd suggest the places I know I can't go (Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Sweet tomatoes (nothing like 6 oz of ranch to ruin that healthy salad!), etc. It led to a lot of fights between us and a lot of frustration. I felt like I wasn't being supported until I realized it's my journey not theirs. And if I can't speak up and say, "No I can't go there mom, let's go here (or here or here or here) instead," then I'm not going to make it.

LittleSister

Wow, so many wonderful responses! It's interesting to see how many of us struggle with eating for the wrong reasons! And it's interesting that so many of you commented that when you identify a behaviour, that's half the battle of overcoming it!

Thank you everyone!!

ali258

I try to plan my meals but with my family life gets in the way, like last night we ended up going out to dinner because my aunt was on this side of town. Luckily a lot of places have grilled chicken plates now, with some mashed potatoes and a veggie. Usually anywhere from 400-600 calories depending on the sides/dressings. I have to say I've gotten a lot better about chosing places to go and always having somewhere in mind for when my mom asks me where I want to go. She used to get frustrated because she'd suggest the places I know I can't go (Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Sweet tomatoes (nothing like 6 oz of ranch to ruin that healthy salad!), etc. It led to a lot of fights between us and a lot of frustration. I felt like I wasn't being supported until I realized it's my journey not theirs. And if I can't speak up and say, "No I can't go there mom, let's go here (or here or here or here) instead," then I'm not going to make it.

Try looking online and even printing out some of the nutritional information for those restaurants you listed. Olive Garden can be a challenge because of the delicious bread sticks, but you can get the salad with dressing on the side (so you can measure how much you eat), and the minestrone soup is pretty low in calories. They also will substitute whole wheat pasta in their dishes if you ask. It's not an easy restaurant for me to eat at because of the temptation to get other things, but you can definitely eat there and eat healthy.

Red Lobster is the same way. If you ask for your fish or shrimp grilled with no extra butter or oil, it's very healthy. They can also do steamed veggies with no butter or oil.

Sometimes it's just about standing up for ourselves and telling family or waiters what we need them to do for us to stay on track. It's great you're standing up for yourself!

-Alison

MercuryBlue

Angry eater here, as well!

I talked about this a little bit earlier, but whenever my husband and I fight, I run to the cupboard.

Over the past year, he's been diagnosed with adult ADHD and PDD. He's also learning disabled. So, a lot falls onto my shoulders. I'm responsible for just about everything! For a long time, we didn't know what was wrong with him- just that something was 'off'. He knew it, I knew it... but we didn't deal with it. We fought like cats and dogs over the tiniest details. And when I would get mad at him, I'd eat. Then I started getting bigger, and wanted to lose weight. At that point, he'd make these 'helpful' comments about what I was eating or what I should be doing to exercise, etc. Which would tick me off- so I'd eat more. When I was REALLY mad, I'd even self-sabotage. Like, 'You're a dink, so I'm going to eat and get fat and YOU can be the guy stuck with the fat wife.'

Hey, I didn't say I was rationale.

I still have these bad habits. And when I'm stressed I want to MUNCH. But now that I've sort of realized what I'm doing, it makes it easier to deal with. It also helps that my husband's finally been diagnosed and is on medication. Now his moods have leveled out, which means we don't fight as much. Which means that I don't anger-binge as often. Which is good- now to undue all the damage I caused to myself in the past!

LittleSister

Angry eater here, as well!

I talked about this a little bit earlier, but whenever my husband and I fight, I run to the cupboard.

Over the past year, he's been diagnosed with adult ADHD and PDD. He's also learning disabled. So, a lot falls onto my shoulders. I'm responsible for just about everything! For a long time, we didn't know what was wrong with him- just that something was 'off'. He knew it, I knew it... but we didn't deal with it. We fought like cats and dogs over the tiniest details. And when I would get mad at him, I'd eat. Then I started getting bigger, and wanted to lose weight. At that point, he'd make these 'helpful' comments about what I was eating or what I should be doing to exercise, etc. Which would tick me off- so I'd eat more. When I was REALLY mad, I'd even self-sabotage. Like, 'You're a dink, so I'm going to eat and get fat and YOU can be the guy stuck with the fat wife.'

Hey, I didn't say I was rationale.

I still have these bad habits. And when I'm stressed I want to MUNCH. But now that I've sort of realized what I'm doing, it makes it easier to deal with. It also helps that my husband's finally been diagnosed and is on medication. Now his moods have leveled out, which means we don't fight as much. Which means that I don't anger-binge as often. Which is good- now to undue all the damage I caused to myself in the past!

Wow! It sounds like you & your husband have been on an amazing journey! Seriously, there must be a lot of love there. It can't be fun to perceive that you're "off" but not know why. And it can't be easy to relate to someone with ADHD. (I don't know what PDD is though.)

My first husband had OCD - it was undiagnosed until right before our divorce. I was just so tired of everything being my fault and his unwillingness to talk to a counselor that I couldn't take it anymore. He finally agreed to marriage counseling, but it was too little, too late. It was the marriage counselor who pointed his OCD out to him, and helped him understand that he truly was OK, and his seemingly nutty tendencies didn't mean he was crazy, but that he really should address it.

After we divorced, he stopped seeing the counselor & began seeing a priest instead, who convinced him that he didn't have OCD, but that everything really had been my fault. Oh well . . .

Anyway, I'm not suggesting OCD and AHDH are alike at all - I guess I'm just blathering that I can relate about the fights that had no rationale basis, and about the control.

And I absolutely cannot abide anyone making any comments about anything I should eat. My husband (not my ex, but my current husband) KNOWS better. Once in a blue moon, he might inquire sweetly about maybe I could make a healthier food choice, and it always backfires . . . but on me, since I'm the one who ends up eating just to show him who's the boss of my body!

MercuryBlue

Wow! It sounds like you & your husband have been on an amazing journey! Seriously, there must be a lot of love there. It can't be fun to perceive that you're "off" but not know why. And it can't be easy to relate to someone with ADHD. (I don't know what PDD is though.)

...

Anyway, I'm not suggesting OCD and AHDH are alike at all - I guess I'm just blathering that I can relate about the fights that had no rationale basis, and about the control.

And I absolutely cannot abide anyone making any comments about anything I should eat. My husband (not my ex, but my current husband) KNOWS better. Once in a blue moon, he might inquire sweetly about maybe I could make a healthier food choice, and it always backfires . . . but on me, since I'm the one who ends up eating just to show him who's the boss of my body!

PDD is short for 'Pervasive Developmental Disorder'. It's in the Autism spectrum of disorders (but isn't as extreme as Autism). Basically, he has some troubles relating to people socially. Things that he thinks are normal aren't. So he may behave in a way others see as inappropriate, and he won't understand why.

But yes, I tend to sabatoge myself just to prove him wrong sometimes! On one hand, I tell him I want him to be supportive and help me through this weight loss process. However, as a woman, when I say I want help, I mean, "I want you to love and support me, and tell me I'm doing a great job and you're proud of me. I want you to go on walks with me, and eat healthy food with me, and not tempt me by making greasy delicious-smelling chicken wings when I'm eating my tofu." However, he's a fixer. So instead of giving me the support I want he tends to try and be 'helpful'. Which usually involves tearing apart my carefully crafted diet/exercise schedule in favor of his 'brilliant ideas'. Which would be fun if his brilliant ideas weren't so... unbrilliant. Like once, he actually said to me, "No, it's okay for you to have a milkshake. You just have to throw up afterwards, then you won't gain any weight." I actually laughed out loud at that one.

However, you do seem to understand what I've been through- it's difficult to cope when a spouse has an undiagnosed mental disorder. A lot can be done through therapy and medication, but there's no magic wand to 'fix' everything. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication.

Funny- the same can be said for weight loss.