I don't feel like I'm losing weight.

And I want to just jump off a bridge and be done with it. I'm tired. It's been a couple of weeks now and I KNOW I'm doing something wrong somewhere. I'm not exercising enough or something... Or I'm eating too little and go into starvation mode. I DON'T KNOW. I just... I hate myself right now. For being fat and disgusting and I don't like it. I don't like being in this skin anymore. It just doesn't feel right anymore.
I'm just tired of being alive at the moment.
Also I wished crying would help me lose weight.
Yes, yes I know that moaning and groaning does nothing unless you do something, I'm hard on myself, don't worry. I just... I just wanted a place to talk about it. I can't go on twitter because apparently my friends are sick and tired of me berating myself for being fat. They don't believe I'm fat, they think I'm fine (bless their hearts). But I don't think they understand the situation, that it doesn't matter what THEY say anymore. Unless I find myself not fat, I'm fat. Do you get what I mean? No matter how many times they tell me me I'm not fat (how little times those times might be) I still feel it. And it won't change until I feel comfortable.
The Poptarts are mocking me right now. NO I WON'T EAT YOU. I ONLY EAT YOU ONCE A DAY. I AM STRONG.
Anyway... I just wanted someone to talk to about this. People on Twitter won't stand for it anymore (like that would change anything but whatever floats their boat). People on Plurk or Tumblr won't be much help because they have no patience for reading and I have no patience for letting it go unread.
This begs the question: Why am I posting it here?
It says Motivation and Support so I guess someone might be kind enough to read through and talk to me... I'm sure I'm just having a moment tonight...I've been having a lot of moments lately...
I better stop soon. I need to evaluate my life choices. And I must convince myself to continue eating because it's good for you. (Apparently.)
I need to tell my mom that I want to diet. Maybe if she dictated my food consumption again like before maybe I'd actually get out of this alive.
I'm really hungry right now.
Sigh
Oh well.
WHY CAN'T I BE SKINNY
Oh great now I want to cry again. I NEED TO GET ON A TREADMILL DAMN IT BUT I'M TOO BUSY MOANING ABOUT LIFE. EXCUSE ME.
It's like...I feel like I'm not losing weight so why should I bother exercising anyway? I just want to give up and just never eat again.
I hate everything.
DAMN THE SKINNY PEOPLE
DAMN ALL THE SKINNY PEOPLE

Replies

  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
    The stuff you're mentioning is intense man, you should strongly consider counseling. Good luck to you.
  • mrsains
    mrsains Posts: 104 Member
    Hmm, sounds like you're having a hard time. I'm sorry that you're struggling! Have you tried taking your measurements or taking before and progress pictures? Sometimes what we see in the mirror/on the scale is not a true representation of the changes taking place. Also, keep it in perspective that you have only been at this for a couple of weeks. It takes time, patience, and perseverance to make real changes, so stick with it! You can do this!
  • SirZee
    SirZee Posts: 381
    Welcome to the club.

    Losing weight isnt about "feeling it". Its about eating right, exercising and understanding you are looking at months/years, not days/weeks.

    Once you get your mindset right, losing weight is easy. Month to month losses are what counts. Don't underestimate the power of the mind, although from your writing, I would like to suggest that you are using it in a negative manner. Change your mindset, ONLY YOU CAN.
  • sundropc14
    sundropc14 Posts: 37 Member
    hey, open your diary andm
    maybe we all can take a lot and see if theres some tweeking we can do . what is your height and weight, we can see what you are dealing with and go from there. never give up the battle, cuz then you'll lose the fight. Hang in there with us buddy and we can help you. we are all hear to support one another without judgement.
  • alasin1derland
    alasin1derland Posts: 575 Member
    I read your profile and the comments you make in there seems you'd benefit more from toning than weight loss, if you don't have any health issues that would interfere, why don't you give some of the exercise dvds a try. I see a lot of success stories with Jillian Micheals 30 day shred.
  • sathor
    sathor Posts: 202 Member
    1 - Poptarts are almost 500/Cal per pack or 2.
    2 - you probably need to eat more than once a day
    3 - People that jump from bridges because they think they are fat tend to reincarnate into cows and whales for a few lifetimes, partly due to Karma being a psychopathic ***** sometimes. Even when you do move back to being a human, you'd probably reincarnate into a family of sumo wrestlers.
  • jothekid
    jothekid Posts: 230 Member
    Hey man!

    Seems like you're in a little of a downer right now. You might feel as if you're alone and that all the work you're doing ain't doing anything. It's not about what the scale reads on a daily basis, it's about how you feel on the inside! As long as you're moving and sweating it out, as well as keeping a close eye on your nutrition, changes will come! Remember that muscles weigh more than fat so depending on what kind of workout you are doing, you might be adding muscles faster than burning fat which could explain why the scale isn't going down! Also, I'd recommend adding some friends to your profiles...sounds silly but on days I feel down, I see that my MFP friends have been working out and it motivates me to keep going! So feel free to add me :) Forget about what you look like on the outside and focus about what you feel like on the inside...the rest will come with time...won't happen overnight! Just stick to it, do your best and forget the rest ;) Best of luck buddy!!
  • 2hobbit1
    2hobbit1 Posts: 820 Member
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2

    Good info on how to figure out what you should be doing calorie wise.

    Add strength training - look at starting strength or stronglifts 5 x 5
  • surabhit
    surabhit Posts: 94 Member
    Hello! I can't guage anything about your current measurements, size etc from your profile. Do you have only 4.7 pounds to lose???? I've felt like this sometimes, when you hate what you see in the mirror. But if you give a bit more info about your current size, weight, exercise regime, calorie intake, then there's plenty of people on this forum willing to help :). Don't feel so bad. It's just a phase. This too shall pass.
  • First of all, from looking at your picture, I think you look great!
    Secondly, this is a great site for support and encouragement. I will be more than happy to talk to you and help you through this. I do agree with the first poster - it might be a good idea to seek out professional counseling. That can help as well.
    Eating is a good thing - especially if you eat the right things. Poptarts won't even come close to being in the good category. The more fresh fruits and vegetables you eat, the better you'll feel about yourself. And the best part - when you eat them, you don't gain any weight - so they're guilt-free.
    I have never had the problems you seem to be having, but I can lend a sympathetic ear. Talk to me any time - I'm a good listener.
    Friend request sent.
  • carrie564
    carrie564 Posts: 44 Member
    I've definitely felt very similar emotions, about feeling like I'm doing a lot & seeing no results. I've moped my fair share as well. Losing weight is HARD: not only do you have to NOT eat extra things, but you also have to slash off MORE calories to be able to LOSE anything. So it's like double the pain of losing foods you want.

    It only clicks for me when I FORCE myself to count calories. I also learned I have a crazy slow metabolism, so I just can't compare myself to others' progress. Maybe you do too? So I can only have 1200 calories/day, & have to exercise a full hour/day 5-6 days a week, just to lose a pound or two per week. I HAVE to count & see it written out in front of my face before I put that food in my mouth. It REALLY sucks to count, but it gets easier after about a week. And it DEFINITELY gets easier once you finally see a RESULT after that week. I can THINK I'm cutting calories & eating well & exercising, but still not lose anything. So it REALLY has to be about the numbers. It REALLY is just science & you CAN count it out & figure out control of your own body. Solve the mystery!

    I recommend you take your measurements as well. Sometimes the weight loss is different, but you'll measure yourself every two weeks & still see your size has gone down in some areas. You can see those results in a week or two, so it's VERY satisfying! And if you DON'T see any results after counting your calories for a week, then you can't whine about it, you just have to cut your calories by a few hundred more per day. Do that for another week with healthy/clean eating & see where that gets you. You really CAN take away the frustration by figuring out your own body & stop comparing yourself to others. When you figure out what YOUR body needs to have happen to lose weight, you feel in CONTROL & see RESULTS & that keeps you MOTIVATED & alleviates almost ALL of your frustration!!! :) Except about missing junk food... but you can give yourself cheat days every once in awhile (but then you won't lose as much that week, so plan on it).
  • hsmaldo
    hsmaldo Posts: 115 Member
    The stuff you're mentioning is intense man, you should strongly consider counseling. Good luck to you.

    ^^this! While it's fairly common to have days where you get down on yourself, this really seems to go beyond that. Please find someone you can discuss this with. Start with your general practitioner if you have to and let him/her know EXACTLY what you're feeling.

    Hang in there! But remember too, skinny people have problems too!
  • alzaman5925
    alzaman5925 Posts: 64 Member
    You think you're fat... but your goal weight loss is just under 5lbs? :huh:
  • jenneal89
    jenneal89 Posts: 243
    The stuff you're mentioning is intense man, you should strongly consider counseling. Good luck to you.

    ^^this! While it's fairly common to have days where you get down on yourself, this really seems to go beyond that. Please find someone you can discuss this with. Start with your general practitioner if you have to and let him/her know EXACTLY what you're feeling.

    Hang in there! But remember too, skinny people have problems too!

    I agree. I've felt down before and sometime I think "why bother with exercising if I just keep looking the same" but exercising ALWAYS makes me feel better about myself and better in general. It's ok if I don't look how I want as long as I'm doing stuff to change it. Keep eating healthy foods and keep exercising. You look great from what I can tell from your pic but I know that telling you that won't help unless you choose to believe it. So believe it! Open your diary Si we can see, give us measurements, and how old are you? You look quite young from your pic although you might just be youthful like I am. It's ok!
  • I like you. You're funny XD
  • Awww thank you! :D
  • Okay so this site doesn't let you reply to people like individually so I'm gonna do a group one. Thanks for the replies you guys, I really appreciate them all. I'm just having a down night I guess. It's nice to get some advice this time around. I'll try my best to just be optimistic, though obviously that wouldn't work out all the time, but I'll try!
    I try to tell myself that it's only been a short while but my brain just goes girhejg;ljerghijltdkfghbdfljkg sometimes so sorry about that :3
    Again, thanks for the help!
  • You think you're fat... but your goal weight loss is just under 5lbs? :huh:

    ummm.....yeah... I... I have body issues if you can't already tell.
  • If you want to tone your upper body, I suggest upper body exercises. Running is great, but it focuses more on lower body rather than what I assume you want to tone. Try weights, ab exercises (since I'm not sure what your fitness level is, I suggest youtube or tumblr searches), or try using the weight room at your school if you can't afford a gym. Either way, it takes a bit of time to build muscle.
    Also I suggest that you do tell your mom that you're trying to lose weight. It might be awkward, but having someone to support you is a great feeling. Plus, if she is in control of the food in your house, telling her might lessen the amount of junk food she buys, thus lessening how much of it you consume.