Toxic Friends
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hauer01
Posts: 523 Member
We have all had them at one point in our lives. Hopefully we are able to stand are ground and let all of the toxic people in our lives leave. I had a very toxic friend. Even when she was trying to pay you a complement, it was always a slap in the face. About 2 years ago, I cut her out of my life because I just don't need that.
About 6 months ago, I saw her at a mutual friends funeral. She was very polite and said that she missed my friendship and that we should hang out together sometime. I was polite and said, oh sure, but I never called her.
Well yesterday, she called me at work, right at the end of the day and said she had an hour or so to kill and asked if I would meet her at the local bar for a drink. I was caught off guard and wasn't thinking on my feet, so I didn't have an excuse. I went.
She see's me and the first words out her mouth were "Everyone told me that you lost a lot of weight but I didn't believe them, I figured I had to see for myself to see if it was really true." (A normal person would say, Wow you look great!, but not her). Before I could even respond she then follows up with "Holy No Boobs!" (Really, who says this stuff to anyone!). We folks, I am a D Cup, she is an A- cup. Granted, the girls were a bit bigger before, but truthfully, I would like to go down to a C cup.
After a VERY AWKWARD hour, I left. She was trying to make plans to meet again, but I politely declined!
I have learned my lesson. A toxic friend just doesn't change.
About 6 months ago, I saw her at a mutual friends funeral. She was very polite and said that she missed my friendship and that we should hang out together sometime. I was polite and said, oh sure, but I never called her.
Well yesterday, she called me at work, right at the end of the day and said she had an hour or so to kill and asked if I would meet her at the local bar for a drink. I was caught off guard and wasn't thinking on my feet, so I didn't have an excuse. I went.
She see's me and the first words out her mouth were "Everyone told me that you lost a lot of weight but I didn't believe them, I figured I had to see for myself to see if it was really true." (A normal person would say, Wow you look great!, but not her). Before I could even respond she then follows up with "Holy No Boobs!" (Really, who says this stuff to anyone!). We folks, I am a D Cup, she is an A- cup. Granted, the girls were a bit bigger before, but truthfully, I would like to go down to a C cup.
After a VERY AWKWARD hour, I left. She was trying to make plans to meet again, but I politely declined!
I have learned my lesson. A toxic friend just doesn't change.
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Replies
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Yep.0
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Sorry this has nothing to do with your post...I just wanted to tell you i think your puppies are absolutely adorable!!!!!0
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"Holy No Boobs!"
Don'tcha just love it!?0 -
OMG, I have had some frienemies like this. Haters gonna hate... If someone doesn't make you feel positive about yourself or inspire you to be better, then they are not worth your time. Be your awesome self!!! xxx0
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stay far away from her. Dont let people like that bring you down. Some people are just jealous.0
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Dump them if they are not real friends.0
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After reading this and picking my jaw up off the floor, RUN do not walk!!! And don't look back!0
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I have friends like this too. my fav is the one who complains the most about her freshma 25lb gain. I did something about it, went from size 12-10 to a 6-4 and mostly fours. She keeps telling me what im doing is unhealthy ( i live paleo im lactose) and workout. The best revenge was after a day of rude comments she made about me and how she sees no change in me and other negative things ( clearly blind) was i packed up my fat clothes. she asked if she could brorrow the bag and go thru it before i take it 4 hours away to my parents house. Well she took them home and not one of anything fit her . I know its mean but sometimes others need to do before they preach. I felt like just yelling at her face SUCKS YOU GOT SO FAT (she was a size 6 and is now a 16) i never would but there are moments...lol. Keep your head up! as for the "no boobs" thing you got some so flaunt them
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Sorry this has nothing to do with your post...I just wanted to tell you i think your puppies are absolutely adorable!!!!!
Thank you!0 -
I cut several people out of my life because of just this kind of thing. Some people are just negative Nancies no matter what they do...best not to be dragged into the muck with them.0
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I had a friend like this, she came from a difficult upbringing and was socialy akward and very abraisive. For years I tried to work her through it. Not letting her bash other people to me. Asking her to say positvie things about anyone. I would have serious discussions with her about how to make and keep friends. And we made progress because she sincerely wanted help.
Now she has new friends and we drifted apart, that was fine with me as the friendship was exhausting.
Some people don't want to change, and sticking it out would not help, and would only drag you down.
Give generously when you can but dont waste time if it is unappreciated.0 -
Good for you. Surround yourself with positive people. The toxic ones can go suck it.0
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Sorry this has nothing to do with your post...I just wanted to tell you i think your puppies are absolutely adorable!!!!!
She already said that she was trying to get down to a c cup...sheesh.0 -
I have found this to be worse than a bad break-up. My best friend is toxic. Our good times are the best ever but she goes through phases of being selfish and toxic. We've been best friends since age 10. She went through a meth phase in high school and we didn't talk for months as she was always 'preoccupied'. One day she called me for help and wanted me to pick her up from the meth house and she never went back. We were best friends again. Now she is buddy-buddy with my mom. Won't return my calls, lies to me about being busy when she is out partying with my mom, lies about stupid little things like her boyfriend's injuries (she said he was in an explosion at work and when really it was playing iwth dynamite at my MOM'S house), won't return calls of other friends and I'm sick of it...0
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We have all had them at one point in our lives. Hopefully we are able to stand are ground and let all of the toxic people in our lives leave. I had a very toxic friend. Even when she was trying to pay you a complement, it was always a slap in the face. About 2 years ago, I cut her out of my life because I just don't need that.
About 6 months ago, I saw her at a mutual friends funeral. She was very polite and said that she missed my friendship and that we should hang out together sometime. I was polite and said, oh sure, but I never called her.
Well yesterday, she called me at work, right at the end of the day and said she had an hour or so to kill and asked if I would meet her at the local bar for a drink. I was caught off guard and wasn't thinking on my feet, so I didn't have an excuse. I went.
She see's me and the first words out her mouth were "Everyone told me that you lost a lot of weight but I didn't believe them, I figured I had to see for myself to see if it was really true." (A normal person would say, Wow you look great!, but not her). Before I could even respond she then follows up with "Holy No Boobs!" (Really, who says this stuff to anyone!). We folks, I am a D Cup, she is an A- cup. Granted, the girls were a bit bigger before, but truthfully, I would like to go down to a C cup.
After a VERY AWKWARD hour, I left. She was trying to make plans to meet again, but I politely declined!
I have learned my lesson. A toxic friend just doesn't change.
I had a toxic friend - she was my world, best friend, for 20 years. When I got into my first serious relationship I had to split my time between her and my boyfriend (now my husband). She made my life miserable, she made me feel guilty for spending a weekend with him and not getting drunk and going clubbing with her. She was getting married, she ordered me to tell my boyfriend I wont be seeing him much because I had to spend all my time with her before she moved. I went to all 3 of her bachelorette parties, spent the month at her side not seeing my BF. In the end, she got drunk, exploded on me to the point where she was ready to FIGHT me because I wasn't partying enough (we were at a wine tasting. I tasted wine and was really enjoying myself. She got drunk on a bottle of vodka at 11am on the way TO the wine tasting and told me I was acting like I was better than her). At that point I told her enough, I cant do this anymore. To this day, she messages me on Facebook and tries to start a conversation. Some days I miss her but I remind myself - she is who she is. It's not going to be any better so thank you for this post because it reminds me that moving on and being HAPPY was the right thing to do! Whenever we experience a change in our life - things are going to change around us. Sometimes it's for the better.0 -
I have found this to be worse than a bad break-up. My best friend is toxic. Our good times are the best ever but she goes through phases of being selfish and toxic. We've been best friends since age 10. She went through a meth phase in high school and we didn't talk for months as she was always 'preoccupied'. One day she called me for help and wanted me to pick her up from the meth house and she never went back. We were best friends again. Now she is buddy-buddy with my mom. Won't return my calls, lies to me about being busy when she is out partying with my mom, lies about stupid little things like her boyfriend's injuries (she said he was in an explosion at work and when really it was playing iwth dynamite at my MOM'S house), won't return calls of other friends and I'm sick of it...
I TOTALLY agree - worse than a bad breakup. I cried SO MUCH over the end of our friendship and really needed to heal after it.0 -
I just had laugh at the part where you gave her your fat clothes! I had a friend who would joke that I was the "fat one". (I was 3 stone lighter then and she was one clothes size smaller than me.) Her comments were always hurtful and made me feel awful. I bumped into her the other day and the only thing I recognised was her eyes! She is easily 6-7 stone heavier than me! I just smiled and kept on walking. Karma is indeed a wonderful thing.0
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I just had laugh at the part where you gave her your fat clothes! I had a friend who would joke that I was the "fat one". (I was 3 stone lighter then and she was one clothes size smaller than me.) Her comments were always hurtful and made me feel awful. I bumped into her the other day and the only thing I recognised was her eyes! She is easily 6-7 stone heavier than me! I just smiled and kept on walking. Karma is indeed a wonderful thing.
^ this
if your roughly the same size id do what i did lol! i had orginally meant it in a nice way but i guess it came back and hit her hard. shes still toxic but ive been distancing myself, i have to go to her apartment today and pick up my fat clothes to take to my parents as theres no room/no desire for it in my small dorm closet. My friends comments always sting but im the one who can feel good in nearly and type of clothing now, and no i only went from 150.1-140.6 but i from a 12 at highest to mostly a 4! I feel incredible and if anything i dont complain i bost about how good i feel ! Everyone needs to remember to do this for them, and yes its hard to cut a person out but its better than them adding dead weight on to you 0 -
Why did you stay for the hour?0
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I dumped my toxic friend. Friend no more. It's been almost 2 years. She was too much work.0
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