Really need unbiased opinions...

needadvice32

Okay - so I have been dating this guy for just over two months...

I really like him - he is nice, smart, funny, considerate, hard-working, trust-worthy and basically everything I am looking for. He very obviously really likes me (he's making plans with "us" in mind, talking about long-term, etc.), he's met my parents and my kids (who all really liked him).

The problem is that as time goes on, I'm not sure I see myself with him long-term.

When I met him, he was very open about the fact that he works a LOT of hours... but also said it was a more recent thing (since the beginning of the year) and wasn't something he needs to do. I respect people who work hard and are motivated, but I also would like to feel that family and friends would not take a back seat to putting in extra hours.

The last couple of weeks he seems to be showing that he really might be a work-aholic - he's working even more hours than he was when I met him - and it's to the point that it's pretty much the only thing he talks about. He says he enjoys what he's doing, but every time I talk to him he's saying how stressed and tired he is. When I asked him about it (and teased him a bit about how he said he's not a "work-aholic"), he still said it's not something he intends to do long-term... but it's not feeling that way.

I'm so torn... I really do think he is such a nice guy, and would be a good "fit" for me in a lot of ways... but I also feel like something is missing? I just feel like I don't want to get further into something that may not be what I want in the end... and I sometimes feel like I'm trying to talk myself into liking him more than I do.

Am I being too quick in this decision? It has only been two months... How quickly were you sure you're SO was the right one for you?

MTBrob

When you already have doubts the relationship will not work and if you try and try and try you will always have those doubts.. Move on.

fcp1234

eh..next !!

rompers16

If his worst fault is that he works too much, well, hey, that's not too bad. Maybe you can ask him to set a specific time period to spend with you...like no overtime on Fridays or whatever.

needadvice32

^^ see, that's what I'm wondering... and why I'm so torn.

I just don't want to regret my decision (either way) later...

I think the thing that really bothers me is not that he works so much, but that he then constantly talks about it, and how stressed and tired he is? If you're that stressed and tired, how is it worth it? (bearing in mind, he doesn't need the extra money, just likes it)

corn63

He's met your kids and you have no idea if you want anything long term with him?


Shame.

Oh and the fact that you needed to troll about this.... red flag.

Lone_Wolf70

well depends...if all of his work is being a greeter at Walmart then uh yeah time to move on

BUT.....

What is he is a genious and is creating something that could make him (and hence you) rich?

THink how greatit would be for you to finally move out of the trailer? I kid, I kid

needadvice32

He's met your kids and you have no idea if you want anything long term with him?


Shame.

Oh and the fact that you needed to troll about this.... red flag.

I absolutely get what you are saying... I debated quite a bit about him meeting my kids, but they are older and knew I was talking to someone a lot - I know them and feel like they are big enough to handle whatever happens.

And yes, I will fully admit to posting this topic specifically to get answers... I really am that confused.

needadvice32

well depends...if all of his work is being a greeter at Walmart then uh yeah time to move on

BUT.....

What is he is a genious and is creating something that could make him (and hence you) rich?

THink how greatit would be for you to finally move out of the trailer? I kid, I kid

lol... see, that's the thing - it's kind of in the middle... he's unlikely to be filthy rich, but he does well, which I know is a huge push for him to work as hard as he does. It's just that $$$ isn't everything, right?

holeshottdr

Yep, time to move on. You need to find a real man, you know, one of those unmotivated, unemployed guys that would like nothing better then to sit on the couch and sponge off of you...

needadvice32

Yep, time to move on. You need to find a real man, you know, one of those unmotivated, unemployed guys that would like nothing better then to sit on the couch and sponge off of you...

lol... you just described my ex.

needadvice32

bump...

did anyone else initially have doubts, but ultimately were glad they gave it more time?

Dub_D

Just break up.

yoovie

I really like him - he is nice.

I'm not sure I see myself with him long-term.

I also feel like something is missing?

I just feel like I don't want to get further into something that may not be what I want in the end... and I sometimes feel like I'm trying to talk myself into liking him more than I do.

Dont lead this poor guy on - he deserves to have someone who is apesht crazy about him and you are constantly talking to yourself about breaking up with him.

not good.

portalm

A man can just never win. Works too much, doesnt work enough, is to tall, is to short, is to poor, is to rich, i mean honestly when does it stop.

Clearly are convincing yourself to not be with him, because you have other things in mind. So the question really is, why are you with him? Stop asking for opinions, and move on. He deserves someone that makes him happy, and so do you.

skinnygurl02

Yep, time to move on. You need to find a real man, you know, one of those unmotivated, unemployed guys that would like nothing better then to sit on the couch and sponge off of you...

lol... you just described my ex.

EXACTLY! Our ex's must be brothers:)

LuckyLeprechaun

bump...

did anyone else initially have doubts, but ultimately were glad they gave it more time?

yes.

when I first met him, my husband was very VERY adamant about the fact that he was never going to get married again. NEVER!!!!

I knew it was a result of his very evil ex-wife. I gave him space and time and patience.

It took a long time, but I am very happy I stayed, because I would have missed out on the bst man ever for me, if I took him at his word on that topic.

We have been married for 6 years.............

2012asv

It's only been 2 months but you have a lot invested in this. The thing to consider is you have kids which consumes a lot of our time... doesn't sound like he has any other commitments other than work... and he probably uses that to keep himself and his mind busy.... as apposed to working and then spending the rest of his time watching TV or something un productive???

If you are comfortable enough yet I would just ask him about it. I would rather just ask than break up and wonder what the possibilities were. Be upfront- if he's really that awesome than he will understand. If not, you got your answer.

sathor

But why does he work that much, and he might not tell you. Maybe it keeps him out of trouble, so to speak, maybe he is saving up for something big. (Hey, overtime rules, and maybe he REALLY wants that boat)

Julzanne72

Okay - so I have been dating this guy for just over two months...

I really like him - he is nice, smart, funny, considerate, hard-working, trust-worthy and basically everything I am looking for. He very obviously really likes me (he's making plans with "us" in mind, talking about long-term, etc.), he's met my parents and my kids (who all really liked him).

The problem is that as time goes on, I'm not sure I see myself with him long-term.

When I met him, he was very open about the fact that he works a LOT of hours... but also said it was a more recent thing (since the beginning of the year) and wasn't something he needs to do. I respect people who work hard and are motivated, but I also would like to feel that family and friends would not take a back seat to putting in extra hours.

The last couple of weeks he seems to be showing that he really might be a work-aholic - he's working even more hours than he was when I met him - and it's to the point that it's pretty much the only thing he talks about. He says he enjoys what he's doing, but every time I talk to him he's saying how stressed and tired he is. When I asked him about it (and teased him a bit about how he said he's not a "work-aholic"), he still said it's not something he intends to do long-term... but it's not feeling that way.

I'm so torn... I really do think he is such a nice guy, and would be a good "fit" for me in a lot of ways... but I also feel like something is missing? I just feel like I don't want to get further into something that may not be what I want in the end... and I sometimes feel like I'm trying to talk myself into liking him more than I do.

Am I being too quick in this decision? It has only been two months... How quickly were you sure you're SO was the right one for you?

I knew almost immediately my fiance was the guy for me, but that doesn't mean you will. Everyone is different. But if you don't feel it , you don't feel it. It's unfair to lead him on. Also unfair to keep him in your kids lives, have them get attached to him, or develop a relationship with him if you know it's not going to lead anywhere.

clintbritt3

No man is going to be the "perfect" man.... If he has a good work ethic, that is great, because most people don't these days. Everyone has doubts, so this one thing shouldn't stop you from seeing him. Just have a real talk with him, not joking, just being honest about the hard issues. If he doesn't like that or gets defensive then you most defiantly know he's not the one. If he loves, adores, and honors you with all his heart, eyes, and mind, then he sounds like a great person. Don't get to petty about the little things, but communication is KEY! I wish you the best.