Can you really motivate your spouse or loved one?

maroonmango211

In response to all these posts asking about how to break it to their spouse/girlfriend/ sister/ father/ friend etc that they need to lose weight or get fit.

Can you motivate a loved one to make healthy changes and lose weight?

YES

Should you tell them their fat and they should do something about it?

No!!!

No matter how you put it, using your words to explain it to them will hurt, more than you could ever imagine and it will take a long time if ever to rebuild after that kind of damage (especially if this person is a spouse or sexual partner).

One of my favourite quotes of all time is "Be the change you want to see in the world." You're here, you're logging your food, you're getting fit, you're losing extra weight, you're bulking those muscles, you're buying new clothes, you have more confidence. Need I go on?

These changes may be small at first but they definitely don't go unnoticed by your loved ones. Chances are very high that they know about their own problems and are probably caught up in the worst lie ever, that they can't do anything about it. They probably also noticed when you were overweight or un-toned or simply unhealthy, they also probably heard you utter words close to "there's no point, this is the way I am, nothing works" (come on we all have at some point). Yet here you are making change and seeing results (or will be soon). Like I said, this doesn't go unnoticed, and eventually questions will pop up and even some jelousy to push these people to reconsider and try it one more time.

Ever since I had my second child I struggled to lose my pregnancy weight over and over, and not in a healthy way. People noticed and commented when I was skinnier but I wouldn't even talk about it because I didn't feel like I achieved anything. Now though I'm talking to anyone who asks (and a lot who don't probably). I know that some people simply couldn't care less, others are jelous and claim that my age, body shape, self control all made it happen for me, but most are interested in why I am so happy.

My partner has gone through several phases with my fitness this new (and final) time round. At first he was skeptical especially about the cooking, all the 'crap' he would have to eat. He soon realised that I had tweeked every single of his favourite recipes and indeed made them better tasting on top of healthy.

He then got annoyed when I found MFP and was on here all the time, logging food, talking to people and commenting on strangers status'. He didn't want me to become one of those skinny b***es that count calories all the time and only eat celery. He soon learned that I needed support for me and that it wasn't effecting my social life or eating habits like that.

At this point he got jelous. That I was carrying the heavy groceries, that I had lost 15 lbs in a few months, that I was confident and wanted to go out, that I was sporting all my pre pregnancy clothing already and that I wanted to walk everywhere. This was by far the toughest stage for me. He was actually gaining weight and it almost seemed like he wanted to eat that huge second bowl of ice cream in front of me just to spite all my hard effort.

Last week I hit 30 lbs lost and down to pre pregnancy weight (20lbs on MFP and counting calories) and I didn't say anything. He knew I had finished the 30 DS and I was starting a new program this week. I didn't celebrate, I didn't brag, I just left it.

On Friday he straight out asks me "So when are WE starting Insanity?"

It didn't take me telling him he had gained weight, it didn't take me talking about how much better his pants fit back then, it didn't take me drastically changing life around him to push him into it. I changed my life and he saw how much happier it made me (and sexier too!).