The Ugly Sister

abbyaxiom

I guess this is half rant, half cry for help. I was just wondering if anyone else out there feels like the fat/ugly duckling in the family? I'm the oldest of eight. Four sisters, three brothers. And God help me I feel like the ugly one. All my sisters turned out beautiful. They're not all thin but they're not large either like I am. Two of them have kids and married etc.... basically living the life I've always wanted to. I can't help but get jealous sometimes. Over the years it's really worn on me, I've basically separated myself from them (living in another state now), and that helps a little not having the same circle of friends. Having friends back home that would eventually meet my family was horrible. I'd always hear things like "Woww your sisters are hot...what happened to you?" and "Are you adopted?" =/ Even a couple past boyfriends made comments like , one even left me to pursue one of them....

Even though im living 500 miles away from them now it's still hard. Seeing their kids and life on facebook etc... getting messages from my mom about how im doing and "why dont you try (this), your sisters doing it"

Anyway yeah... just an emotional moment... had to let it out for a minute.. =/

opuntia

Ah, my sisters are prettier than I am too. I'm also the eldest. Doesn't mean you're ugly if your sisters are prettier than you though. I don't feel ugly. You're you and you're unique, and you can't live their lives - you live your own. If your parents suggest you do things your sisters are doing, you can just politely say you are not interested in such things, because you have your own interests. Well, unless you are interested, I suppose, and then you can try what your sisters are doing. Personally, I'm rarely interested in the things my sisters are interested in - we are all very different.

But it's rude for people to say 'Your sisters are hot - what happened to you?' People who say such things are not worth your time and energy. Real friends don't say daft things like that. You and your sisters are all different, with different skills and different strengths. Quite randomly, I apparently look younger than my sisters, even though they're younger than I am! Very pretty faces can age more quickly, it seems.

blonde71

I can identify as the "unfit sister". My entire childhood I was always unfit compared to my younger sister, who was very athletic with a nice muscular build. She didn't even have to try which irritated me, lol. She was also a lot stronger than me. However, times have changed. I, now, am just as strong, muscular and athletic as she is. She even told me recently that she's very impressed with my transformation. Yep, proof positive that every dog has its day....

krisrpaz

<--- My sister and I. She has long legs, a long waist and curves in all the right places. Perfectly little like my mom. I always envied her for her high metabolism. But she loves me just the way I am and has been one of my biggest supporters. But everyone else in my family is "normal". I always felt out of place. I have accepted that I will never be a size 4 like my sister, but I would be thrilled to end up a 10/12.

Levedi

Oh, honey - that must be really painful. I grew up with three attractive, athletic brothers and always felt like the dorky, awkward sister. It didn't help that my mom was always skinny and flat, so when I started going through puberty she freaked out about my getting fat and started putting us both on diets. It took me years to realize I wasn't fat at age 16, but I was a lot curvier than my mother and that probably made her jealous on some level.

It's hard to watch other people have the life you want, especially when you want kids - my brothers are all married and having kids. I'm single and wishing I had kids.

The only solutions I've found are 1) find supportive friends and hang on to them, but kick the jerks to the curb. Life is too short to be friends with people who run you down. 2) work to make your dreams a reality, even if that means taking a different route. I love kids and want to be a mom so much it hurts. So I've started volunteering to tutor homeless children as a step toward being certified as a foster parent. Eventually I'll adopt a child if I can make it work.

Hang in there, hon. You're not alone and you are not ugly.