In Need of Inspiration...Please :(

MindOverMatter

Hello Everyone!

I have been on this site since October and I love it...even started my own group for inspiration, but with the holidays participation is low! Recently, I have gotten some bad news about a loved one and their health and it is affecting me ways I didn't think were possible. In the past I have struggled with not eating, eating emotionally, and just not taking care of me. I can feel myself slipping...and I am not sure how to stop the process...sometimes I would rather not eat, or eat something that makes me "feel better" rather than feel the pain! I know that it is best that I actually feel the pain and find alternatives to dealing with pain but I don't want to feel the pain...I'm not ready. My loved one means the world to me and although he is still with us I can't thinking about the "what ifs"....it's killing me! I should work out to get my endorphines flowing but actually getting the mindset to work out is hard.... I know for certain I never want to go back to where I was before I started loosing (239 lbs...currently 211) because then the pain would double. I need to find a way to get out of this funk before I ruin all my hard work. Does anyone have any advice on dealing with emotional stress...

Thanks :ohwell:

bk325f

I know it sounds a bit commercial, but the first step is admitting & acknowledging the problem. It sounds like you are on the fence of this and just need a little push in that direction. It's okay to be upset, pissed, angry, mad, etc. What is important is that you don't let it run your life. Attitude is a decision that you have to make every day.

Try thinking, would my loved one be proud of what I did today? If you really love them, then work extra hard to make them proud of you every day. Your progress may be a comfort for them during this time. You wouldn't want them to take on the added guilt of being responsible for derailing your progress, so it's up to you to make sure that doesn't happen and isn't implied. They have enough to deal with already.

Keep your good habits and keep on moving forward with your own health!

havingitall

Food is not the answer, nor will it make your pain go away. All it will do is make you upset with yourself on top of all your other problems. The best way to handle stress is eating properly, exercise and sleep. Get some exercise in. The endorphins will make you feel better

chrissyh

Couple ideas....first-if you have having a problem with a specific food that you "lean" on - don't buy it and keep it at home...it takes more thought and effort to have to go buy it.
second-try water before you eat - every time - before you eat anything.
Log all your food even on bad days-looking at what I ate really helped me not do it again....if you can prelog, it makes you think-is this really worth it?

Exercise really helps me kick stresses butt!

I started at your same start weight 239-I've been on MFP since Sep 2008 and it is a big reason for my continued success-use what we have here, join more groups here on MFP - I am in Beautiful Blues, MFP runners club, and I jump in on the C25k Graduates...there's a ton to choose from or join them all if you want!
Best of luck! Dont give up because the only person you'd be failing is yourself!

lotusfromthemud

Something that really helps me is journalling. I write three pages whenever I feel like coping with food. I can write anything on those three pages. . .a to-do list, a grocery list. . .whatever comes up. But, I have to fill up those three pages. What usually comes up is an emotion I either didn't know I was having or couldn't adequately express. Also, I've learned that certain cravings seem to be tied to certain emotions, which is useful. For example, if I'm craving potato chips, I'm angry/upset about something I feel I can't control. If I'm sad, it's usually sweets.

So, with an 89 cent notebook, I save myself from bad eating a lot of the time. Not always, but often.

HTH:flowerforyou:

birdee

You sound like me 15 years ago when I was 239 pounds. You have all the answers. Overeating will make it worse and endorphins help. What you don't have is the fear of what could happen if you don't take care of yourself now. Carrying that extra weight can do so much damage to your knees and back that it's so very hard to do take off the weight again without being able to exercise fully. It's not impossible but if you could see the future, I think you would be inspired to take care of it now. I think of my journey as one day at a time. Everyday I take a walk or don't eat emotionally is a day of celebration. Yoga and meditation have helped me over some rough spots. Please take care of yourself now.

jerseylily

You can do this. If you take yourself serious and love the person you are you will want those healthy changes for yourself. I understand the pain is stressing you. I use art as my escape. Remember just because your not running a marathon doesnt mean you arent burning calories. housework etc is another form. Do you have a buddy system?
Its a fight for your life and you deserve it.

aprilleverett

Journaling is a great tool! I just recently started doing it and it has SO helped me stay on track. I am a VERY emotional eater and sitting down for just a few minutes each day to journal has helped me stay on track. I find that I am encouraging myself! I write things like "you can do this!", "there's no reason not to stay healthy!"... I didn't plan on it encouraging me; I just started doing it to get all the bad feelings out, but it has been surprisingly helpful in many ways. I always thought it was kinda lame lol, but it REALLY does help!! Try it... I do it online.. there are several free diary type web sites out there.. give it a whirl and see how ya feel

bk325f

One other thought...
Sometimes I'll rent a real tear jerker movie to give myself permission to cry. Sometimes getting it out, even if it's with the excuse of a good chick flick, is enought to help relieve some of the emotional pressure. I'm not the emotional type and hate to let people see me cry, because I don't have a pretty Hollywood cry. It's much uglier when I cry, so doing it in private with a good flick is sometimes helpful in releasing that stress.

kelly_a

all very, very good ideas here. I think you need a really good support system right now. whether it is talking with friends and/or family, coming here and being part of a group, journaling, etc...anything to get you thru this. there are so many things that can derail us....it happens to many of us...just know it is going to be ok and take some time to focus on what really * matters * and breathe... take care :flowerforyou:

MercuryBlue

*hugs*

I've been there. There are times I almost feel as if I CANNOT control myself. I've felt my hand moving against my will towards a piece of cake, to the point of actually TOUCHING it with my fingers. The whole time screaming 'no!' while my tummy says 'yes'. This almost always happens in times of high stress. WIth the cake incident, I managed to pull away at the last second and wipe the frosting from my finger (not licking it off, which would have just tempted me further), only because I said out loud, "NO." I remembered how well I'd done that day, how well I'd been doing overall- and thought, "I don't want all of that hard work wasted." I don't want to undo everything I've done. I wouldn't stop in the middle of crocheting a baby blanket and just unravel the whole thing, would I? I wouldn't spend hours on a painting, only to take a rag and smear everything. I have to look at myself as a 'project' deserving of my efforts, and RESPECT the time I've put into myself- just as I would respect the time I put into any other endeavour.

Journelling is a great suggestion. I find that blogging REALLY helps me cope with stress. Talking to friends also helps. I had one day here where I was SO TEMPTED by chocolate someone had brought into work. I was literally on the verge of caving in when one of my friends sent me an email to check up on me. Remembering that I was now accountable to other people, and that my success mattered to them, helped a lot.

It sounds like you've already come so far, just being able to recognise the situations that cause you temptation. That's the first step. It's taken me a long time to recognise those same sorts of patterns in myself, and now that I'm aware of them, it helps.

I hope things get better for you soon.

MindOverMatter

Thank You Everyone!

I really and truly appreciate and value you all of your suggestions! I am a writer so I currently use that to vent so I will just continue to do that...my only issue is this all time stress that is above and beyond what my writing can do for me. The chick flick idea sounds good because I need to cry! I have tried joining other groups here but once they are established and people are familiar with each other I notice that its hard to get in on it...that is why I started my own. I am not saying every group is that way but I have noticed that on a few occasions for myself and other members. I will keep trying and would love to find a buddy that continues to be there even when they get tied up...my group now has mostly disappeared and that is what inspired this message.

Thank you all for you positive words and support, thats why I am here! I have friends but they are not in the same place as I am and sometimes cannot understand "what the big deal is", they think I am being overly concerned about my weight because I appear slimmer than I am...I am tall about 5'8 and well proportioned...so they think I have nothing to complain about. On the contrary I am 211 lbs and struggled to run from 239...I know I am only hurting myself and in the past I thought I could handle everything...but as you can see I let stress get me to 239 so I do realize that I have to depend on others. I do not have anyone, except the people here to support my weightloss journey. When I try to talk to friends and family they are not helpful again giving me reasons why it is "ok" to eat those chips.... I know I can get through this...I just have never dealt with such a big issue like this before and I can admit that I need help and I think that is a big change...I never could admit that before.


Thank you,

breezy81

I do the same thing, either the wrong food or no food and one is just as bad as the other. However I have replaced that with my treadmill!! Saturday I had a little spat with hubby and rather than yell or eat I went down stairs did a 12 min mile and felt better!! Didn't eat and calmed down.

I know it's hard but remember that letting your health go is not going to fix anyone else's!!! Take care of your self first and foremost, you are no good to anyone if you don't

MindOverMatter

I definitely know I have to take care of me because with out my health I am not good for anyone!