Overly sensitive or righteous indignation?

jesekelynne

I have a friend who had a gastric bipass about 3 years ago. He lost rapidly then, however has gaind a bunch back because he still has very similar eating habits. Earlier this week, I was treating myself to a soda (diet) and he started telling me how bad soda is for a diet, and that I should be having water. When I told him to mind his own business he said," Well we willl discuss this later". I wasn't asking for advice. I felt more than a litte offended. He constantly has a Monster Energy Drink, and drinks non-diet soda at cookouts and gatherings all the time. I felt like, who is he to tell me anything! He didn't diet and exercise to lose all the weight and now he wants to tell me not to have a soda?? I hate when you tell people you are watching what you eat and suddenly everything you do is under a microscope! Am I being overly sensitive or am I right to be pissed?

DeniseBarone

I suppose it's easier to see the faults in others.

Newf77

Short sweet, right to be pissed. Next time you see him with a Monster ask him to read you the nutritional values and remind him of his transgrettions.

Esther50

Oh I hear you. I think I might have flipped. Just because we are eating healthy doesnt mean we can't ever have a soda or a piece of cake. I don't like it when people tell me what I should and shouldn't have. I hold no one responsible for my weight but myself. An
And now I am eating things the right way, moderation.
So I say, don't be pissed, just acknowledge that you have more power in what you are doing.

tross0924

Ehhhh. Everybody's an expert when you start dieting. Everybody's read "this article." Or their doctor told them. Or they had a friend that lost weight on the cabbage soup diet because carbs don't let your body burn fat. Or ... well you get the idea.

And of all those people that tell you that you can't lose weight eating that cookie, or whatever else they have to say, none of them are qualified. None of them have any idea what they're talking about really. But all of them care about you and are trying to help you. It may be misguided and wrong, but they are trying in their own way to help you be successful by passing on what they consider essential information.

Yes, you can yell at this guy. (It does strum the chords of incredulity a little bit more after he failed after a bypass surgery) But why? What do you gain out of this? What does he? Is he going to take your tirade to heart and change his ways? Probably not. Just smile and nod, and say, "This has been working so far, and from what I've read ... "

And just for the record there isn't anything wrong with a diet soda.

melissaw78

You had every right to speak out, even if you are not satisfied with your delivery method.

I struggle to keep my mouth shut every time I get dieting tips from my mother who is approximately ONE HUNDRED POUNDS heavier than me!

jesekelynne

I guess you all are just validating what I already knew...Just needed to hear it from someone other than my Hubby! And you are right Tross0924, he is saying it because he cares, but god it pissed me off! I think if when he had the bypass he had changed his eating habits, I might not be so offended...maybe. I doesn't help that I went to culinary school (havn't cooked professionally in a while), so I have a pretty good base of knowledge when it comes to nutritious food, and his diet is still far from healthy...No one is perfect, but I don't call him out on his polishing off a chinese combo plate with and extra egg roll!

VelociMama

Unsolicited advice is my #1 annoyance especially coming from people who have no right to say anything.

Mr_Bad_Example

Um, that dude had to have surgery to lose weight and didn't learn a thing from it. That pretty much invalidates any argument or insights he may want to share with you.

Crochetluvr

I was treating myself to a soda (diet) and he started telling me how bad soda is for a diet, and that I should be having water. When I told him to mind his own business he said," Well we willl discuss this later". I wasn't asking for advice. I felt more than a litte offended. He constantly......drinks non-diet soda at cookouts and gatherings all the time.

Pissed? I'd be looking for a new friend.

Snitch1

I think you have a right to be a little miffed..but perhaps HE was reaching out to YOU for some guidance, however the conversation may have started. If you agree to talk with him later, you might invite him to the website (ha ha, so we can all get grilled..lol), and maybe help out this guy..who is obviously silently suffering in the knowledge that EVERYONE he knows, knows that he failed.

I would feel horrible, if it were me. I'd probably move.

californiagirl2012

One thing you have to get over if you want to lose AND maintain is ignoring what everyone else thinks of food. Getting slim and staying there is way against the current flow of our society.

Things to give up so you can move forward ...

Rule #1 Letting the opinions of others control your life...

jazee11

I can see both sides.

I get like your friend did with you about my girlfriend smoking. I almost always gotta say something if I catch her with a cigarette. I smoked between the ages of 17 and 20. My girlfriend knows it's bad for her, I don't need to remind her.

lmelangley

You could try what I do. Every time someone says I can't have something or shouldn't have something, I tell them point blank that I'm not on a diet and I can have whatever I choose to have whenever I choose to have it. I've made changes to my eating plan to become a healthier person, but to my mind, that means taking care of my body and my soul. And, if my soul feels the need for a diet soda, or a bag of cotton candy, then I have it. It's SO much easier than dieting. It's all about portion control and counting calories and being aware of everything I'm eating. Usually, by the time I'm done my tirade, they never say another word.

jesekelynne

You all have great valid points! Next time I think I'll tell him to leave his microscope at home! @Snich1...He did move! but he's moving back and wants to do some crazy lose 20 lbs right away diet...I like your take on his reason though.

subcult

Next time tell him you accidentally switched lunches with your SO/kids and they have your 40's and your 3#'s of bacon and all you have is their shi*** diet soda.

love22step

I'd say "overly sensitive." Why are you letting it bother you? He was right about water being a better alternative than soda; however, you can certainly give yourself a treat now and then. It sounds like he has a tougher time with weight issues than you. I would say a prayer for him and let it go. You're making his problem a problem for yourself. It's not worth it. Enjoy your occasional soda. :drinker:

Bucky2BeBetty

A favorite quote for these kinds of situations:

In this matter,you should not concern yourself for my sake.
― Amy Tan, The Kitchen God's Wife

A nice way to say Butt out!
I am amazed how many people feel the need to dispense advice while applying no common sense to their own lives. Best to find a polite way to say MYOB and continue doing what you know to be best for you. and then remember how it feels to receive unsolicited advice so you can bite your own tongue when compelled to do the same.