I can't work up the courage to start!

hannah1540
hannah1540 Posts: 1 Member
in Motivation and Support
I need to work out, but i just can't bring myself to do it! I go to university, so there's a great gym available to me for free, but it's full of athletic people. And I even see overweight people working out there all the time. Here's my issue: I'm 5'1" and all of 90lbs. I'm not looking to lose weight, I'm looking to build some muscle, but I know I'm going to be judged by anyone who sees me and it TERRIFIES me to the point where I don't go. I'm tiny and my friends know that I eat enough, but random other people seem to think I'm anorexic, and I feel like being seen in the gym will just make more people think that... how do you people deal with the fear of being judged?

Replies

  • terri1020
    terri1020 Posts: 38
    Hannah,

    Don't worry about other people! Have you considered doing Jillian Michael's 30 day shred? You can get all three levels on youtube. You can do the workout in the privacy of your room. If you don't have weights, use soup cans. It is great for toning, working on strength, abs and cardio and all in 20 minutes a day. Just a thought.

    Terri
  • mermx
    mermx Posts: 976
    Hey hannah! I am quite a lot older than you at 52 lol! so am giving you a bit of `the voice of experience` you only get one shot at living your life, so forget how you may think other people look at you... it will happen all your life no matter what your weight/shape/size or how wonderful your life/house/kids are.

    You will always worry about people judging you, we all do, for whatever reason, no matter what your age etc.

    You get your butt to the gym and be proud that you are wanting to help yourself feel good!!!! Everyone else at the gym is worried about being judged too!!
  • FW36726
    FW36726 Posts: 5
    Do any of your friends work out or do athletic activities? If so as if you can come along. If they do something that takes more strength ask them to go to the gym with you so you can be more comfortable getting into shape. I can relate as in many ways I am a shy person. Or if you can fit it into your schedule/budget signup for a Tai Chi or other exercise class, you would meet new people that are also learning a new skill and gain confidence/fitness at the same time. If your gym has any free exercise classes those might help as well. The most important thing is to start the same as with losing weight. Just go for it you can do it. :flowerforyou:
  • gbromage
    gbromage Posts: 9
    I was embarrassed when I started losing weight too.

    I saw all these people around me lifting huge weights, and all I could manage was walking on a treadmill for 3 minutes or so - felt really out of place.

    But now, I'm in there lifting the weights too. Not the really big ones - yet - but I'm there, and thes probably people looking at me the same way I looked at the others in my first weeks. If they are, I wish I could tell them that I'm not judging them, because they're in the gym with me, doing the same thing I am.
  • ncthomas09
    ncthomas09 Posts: 322 Member
    here's food for thought....maybe the people at the gym (since they are athletic) will understand weights (even if you lift small amounts like me) help tone and build muscle and will understand thats why you are there!?!?
  • 2hobbit1
    2hobbit1 Posts: 820 Member
    Hannah,

    Look at "new rules of lifting for women" - there is a group here. If you go in with a plan of what you need to do it is a lot easier. Get some one to show you how to do the exercises - there are descriptions in the book. Have a clipboard and record you weight and reps so you know what you did and can see what you will be doing on your next session. Make sure you are getting enough calories and protein and you will begin to build muscle. If you stick with the weights and only do a little cardio you will get stronger and you body will look toned with out loosing weight! If you do this while eating enough you will gain muscle. The book has guidelines on how to set your macros - check out the build calorie targets and track it here in MFP. You can get the book in the library or for your kindle.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/119-new-rules-of-lifting-for-women-nrol4w-
  • hopsywopsy
    hopsywopsy Posts: 47
    I felt a bit like that when I started running, but decided anyone who judges me is just ignorant. The people whose opinions are worth considering will see that I am trying to do something to improve my fitness (and lose some weight).

    But if you really don't feel comfortable, then as someone suggested, a video such as 30 Day Shred, can help you get started and maybe build your confidence to join the gym later. Good luck!
  • 1ahcj
    1ahcj Posts: 10
    I so agree, people will talk no matter what you look like cause either they are jealous of you or they just are terrible people. They never grow out of it, I have been into assisted living and seen that even the old people gossip about the other person. I thought that people would grow out of that after high school, but they do not! Just look at it as if they are talking about you; they are giving someome else a break. Don't worry about it, they will have to deal with whatever they say on judgement day.
  • sallysuze
    sallysuze Posts: 65 Member
    how do you people deal with the fear of being judged?
    You realise that you are not the centre of their universe and you realise that others are far more self absorbed than you give them credit for ;-)
  • triathlete5301
    triathlete5301 Posts: 182 Member
    I have the opposite problem! There are all shapes and sizes that are at the gym and I'm the overweight one!

    However, someone looking at you in the gym is more likely to say "damn look at that girl working out" rather than criticizing you.

    Doing it is better than not! Might as well do it now than wait until later in life.

    Good luck!
  • Irish_eyes75
    Irish_eyes75 Posts: 475
    Yeah I'm one of those red faced, sweaty, barely standing overweight ones at the gym. Part of me wants to dope slap you but the other part of me truly feels for you because you are insecure and no matter what your body looks like, having these negative thoughts about ourselves sucks!!

    Just tie up your sneakers and go - go and just walk on the treadmill or ride the stationary bike or something simple just once and you will realize that people aren't staring at you, nobody really cares about anybody other than themselves when they're at the gym.

    There might be some guys there who will stare at you but probably because you're cute.
  • glenette1
    glenette1 Posts: 140 Member
    Hey hannah! I am quite a lot older than you at 52 lol! so am giving you a bit of `the voice of experience` you only get one shot at living your life, so forget how you may think other people look at you... it will happen all your life no matter what your weight/shape/size or how wonderful your life/house/kids are.

    You will always worry about people judging you, we all do, for whatever reason, no matter what your age etc.

    You get your butt to the gym and be proud that you are wanting to help yourself feel good!!!! Everyone else at the gym is worried about being judged too!!

    Perfectly said. You are your own judge - don't let others stop you from who you want to be.
  • Glowbee
    Glowbee Posts: 68 Member
    ^What she said :)
  • lilacsun
    lilacsun Posts: 204 Member
    Hey hannah! I am quite a lot older than you at 52 lol! so am giving you a bit of `the voice of experience` you only get one shot at living your life, so forget how you may think other people look at you... it will happen all your life no matter what your weight/shape/size or how wonderful your life/house/kids are.

    You will always worry about people judging you, we all do, for whatever reason, no matter what your age etc.

    You get your butt to the gym and be proud that you are wanting to help yourself feel good!!!! Everyone else at the gym is worried about being judged too!!

    I'm 43 and I agree with this:-)
  • dakitten2
    dakitten2 Posts: 888 Member
    Well my problem was just the opposite. The first day I walked in that gym to go to water aerobics I weighed 290 pounds. I looked around and yeah there was some people looking at the fat lady in the swimsuit. I thought.....get a good look now because one of these days you will be looking at me for a total different reason.

    Even tho I'm not at my goal yet, yesterday I had 2 guys that I know that I havent seen for a while spend their entire time looking at my boobs while they talked to me. I found it so amusing, since I am gay and they know it. They even asked my partner today how much weight had I lost and told her how great I looked. See told them to back off before she decked them. LOL

    So go do what you know you need to do and let people think whatever they want.

    Also, a few months ago, a woman I know in the grocery store started telling everyone that she KNEW I had gastric bypass surgery. I marched myself back to the deli the next day and raised my shirt and said, OK show me the scars from the surgery I supposedly had. People have a hard time wrapping them minds around the fact that some of us can do it without surgery, fad diets, etc. Everyone looking for that magic fix and dont want to spend the time putting in the work.
  • elyelyse
    elyelyse Posts: 1,454 Member
    not gonna lie, some overweight people will look at you and hate you on sight. they will think that you have it easy and it's not fair and WHY CAN'T I BE THAT THIN?!?!?!" But, as one of those people I can also tell you, that is our own insecurity talking, and deep down we know it.

    So, I'll make you a deal! When I see "one of you" I will try to remember that we all feel insecure sometimes and we all have our own crap and we all struggle to be a better person, and when you see "one of us" you try to remember that when we look at you like we are judging you... we are really judging ourselves.

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