obsessed........

readyforchange

I'm starting to wonder if I'm spending to much time planning meals, logging food, counting calories, calculating every morsel of food I conume, ect ect.... And should maybe start enjoying life. Ive been told by a few friends that this weight loss journey has become an obsession and that I'm missing out on the really great thing that ife has to offer. I kinda wonder if they are right??
Any thoughts would be greatly accepted!

nolachick

obsession is the wellspring of genius and madness

MercuryBlue

I wouldn't say 'obsessed', I'd say 'focused'. I've been the same way for the past two weeks. I have avoided talking about weight loss to my family and friends for the most part (because someone always has something smart to say that brings me down and spoils the entire process, causing me to fall off the bandwagon), but I HAVE been on MFP, like, constantly. It has to be at the forefront of my mind ALL THE TIME, or I WILL slip.

I know that it will get better in time, as these life-changes are more official. It's a lot easier to eat well and take care of yourself when it's just a part your life and routine. Like brushing your teeth or showering. At that time, things will probably get more 'normal'- and your friends will ease off. In the meantime, I think it's important to stay focused because that's how you'll find success. At least, that's what I think in my case.

kimber607

Are these naturally thin friends giving you this advice
FOR ME, I NEED to keep track of what I eat and how many cals I consume etc DAILY or I will gain weight......It's a fact that I don't have a normal handle on eating.....just a fact of life
I don't think writing down what I eat and logging cals is taking away from my life...I think it keeps me healthier and happier overall

Kim

tdbear

Loved your answer. If we don't obsess do we have a chance at winning at this losing game. I just can't budge the scale and I think it is because I am eating really healthy good food and not obsessing about it. When I did weird diets--Pepsi and apples all day, no carbs, etc., I did so much better.

mtrebuck

i'd say that if it makes you happy, then you are doing something joyful and that is worthy. if, however, you are unhappy, then this little experiment is likely little more than filler for deeper issues. a short but meanginful missive for the difference between a distraction and something that is joyful can be found at www.blogspot.lib-o-meter.com.

CrystalT

My sister is trying to lose weight, too. She talked to her doctor about the fact that if she doesn't obsess, she doesn't lose weight. He basically told her that if that is what she has to do, then obsess away!!

I know I obsess, I don't really care. This is what works, so I'll keep doing it. I just have to hope that once I get all the weight off, I can relax about it a bit. If not, oh well!!! I find more joy in life now than I did before I started losing weight and that's all that really matters.

silvertears

My sister is trying to lose weight, too. She talked to her doctor about the fact that if she doesn't obsess, she doesn't lose weight. He basically told her that if that is what she has to do, then obsess away!!

I know I obsess, I don't really care. This is what works, so I'll keep doing it. I just have to hope that once I get all the weight off, I can relax about it a bit. If not, oh well!!! I find more joy in life now than I did before I started losing weight and that's all that really matters.

Yeah, what my sister said. LOL!

pawprint061

I obsess and I loose the weight. I stay in range of my calories, and I pay attention to what I'm doing. I stop obsessing and I lose track and fall off the wagon. It's a life style change, you have to re train your mind to look at some things differently then it is use too... by all means obsess. If it gets the job done, then do it. Don't let others discourage you from you are doing to make a better you and more healthy you.

samantha115

obsession is the wellspring of genius and madness

well said

CrystalT

My sister is trying to lose weight, too. She talked to her doctor about the fact that if she doesn't obsess, she doesn't lose weight. He basically told her that if that is what she has to do, then obsess away!!

I know I obsess, I don't really care. This is what works, so I'll keep doing it. I just have to hope that once I get all the weight off, I can relax about it a bit. If not, oh well!!! I find more joy in life now than I did before I started losing weight and that's all that really matters.

Yeah, what my sister said. LOL!

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Crunchytxmama

I disagree with whoever is telling you that! I know I have to completely focus on a goal if I want to attain it. That is just my personality. If you want to acheive something, it takes focus and discipline. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Now if once you've reached your weight loss goals, and are years beyond that and are still focusing on it, then yes I'd call that obsession. There is no better feeling that reaching the end when you've worked hard to acheive a goal! I'd say your friends don't know what they are missing out on

lulubenmom

I'm totally obsessed er rather, focused too. When I'm not I gain weight. I'm only losing it when I focus on my food here. I've found I've had to totally stop talking and boring people about it though, especially as I'm not obese, but I do want to lose 10 more pounds to regain close to my pre-babies weight.

So I say, go for it! Be obsessed, just maybe not talk about it unless someone asks. Hard though isn't it when you want to rejoice or whine...

I stopped logging my food and went up in weight. Yesterday I logged my food at the end of the day and was shocked to see how badly I'd done. I thought I'd eaten well, but in fact was eating to gain 3 pounds in 5 weeks. Tip - stay away from spider roll Sushi and fresh squeezed Carrot Juice/apple is not as low calorie as you think!

Good luck

Mamakatspokane

I wish and long for the day that I can eat healthy without obsessing (focusing) but I'm not there yet. Maybe one day eating healthy will be a habit and I'll only have track my cals once a month or so to make sure I'm on track. My mind doesn't work the way that naturally healthy eaters minds work. I have to be thinking constantly about it....if I wasn't I'd still be constantly thinking of food...just the bad things to eat and lets face it I didn't say those obsessions out loud so people didn't know that obsession. As long as your doign it healhty and you feel like your being healthy and not spinning down the hill towards eating disorder then obsess away my friend!

kaylou

I say how cares what they say! My friends did the same thing for a couple months. But now that I have a handle on it (it took about 6 months) and I can guage what I have eaten in my head....its not so apparent to them anymore.

There are days if I am on a weekend getaway or family outing that I don't have to freak out if I did not log my food. I can tell if I am somewhere around 700-800-900 calories or getting close to my max alloted calories.

Sometimes friends are jealous of your success....they really don't mean to. But its easier to justify what they are eating if EVERYONE is eating it!

And I no longer say I have to exercise before I go.....I just say I will be there at 7 or 8. Allowing myself to get home, workout, then get ready to go.....its my time!! When I used to say I had to exercise they would say "oh you'll be fine just come straight from work" Now I don't even open that door!

When you reach your goal they will be the first to ask "what are you doing to look so great"

rheign

OBSESSED is just a word the LAZY use to describe the DEDICATED. ~ Russell Warren

bellinachuchina

I am obsessed, I can't help but be that way when I set my mind on something! It is that obsession that has allowed me to reach my goal. Don't allow other people's insecurities/jealousies influence you! I have had many people tell me 30lbs. ago, "You need to stop losing weight, you don't have a butt anymore", yada yada yada! Stay focused on what you want for your own life and don't let anyone get in the way of it! Keep up the good work!

obsession is the wellspring of genius and madness...LOVE IT

mcohan

My sister is trying to lose weight, too. She talked to her doctor about the fact that if she doesn't obsess, she doesn't lose weight. He basically told her that if that is what she has to do, then obsess away!!

I know I obsess, I don't really care. This is what works, so I'll keep doing it. I just have to hope that once I get all the weight off, I can relax about it a bit. If not, oh well!!! I find more joy in life now than I did before I started losing weight and that's all that really matters.

Yeah, what my sister said. LOL!

in my opinion there is a fine line between being aware of healthful eating, and obsessing. in my case, it was necessary to get help for this obsession because it was taking over my life. i would cut my nights short, miss out on social events, and refuse to go out to eat because i needed to log everything and watch every morsel of food that i ingested. it is more important to LIVE than to count calories, and friends and family are more important than being skinny.

it is being healthy that matters, both physically and emotionally. i reccommend nutritionists and therapists to anyone that has a questions about whether they are obsessed. dont hesitate to call and just get a consultation because there are alot of people willing to help (even for free/ cheap $$).

although i do feel that we should all do what makes US happy, not everyone else, we all just need to make sure our priorities are in the right order.

sorry if i got a little preachy but it is a sensitive topic for me...

awagner1

I can talk from experience. As a person who uses food as an addiction unless we deal with deeper issues the diet can become one too. I didn't want to except that. On the other hand, as we give up addictions in life we will need safe activities to replace them until we adjust.

Don't get me wrong, losing the weight is great but at some point we have to wean off the obsessive focus. Its a juggling act. All emotions freedom comes from giving up any obsessions. Not easy but it can be done. I use excercise to relieve the stress now.

At the deepest levels all distractions and obsessions are used to distract from feeling uncomfortable.

mcohan

well said!!!!

CrystalT

I guess what we are missing in the discussion is why readyforchange's friends feel like she is obsessing. Is she truely obsessing to the point where it actually affects her life (avoiding social situations, friends, family, etc.) or is it just thei friends' view of her focusing on the new habits she forming? Kinda like if there is a birthday party, does she avoid the party altogether or just the cake?

bellinachuchina

Agreed, it can become out of control if you do not mindfully obsess. Also, I agree obsessions are distractions for not feeling comfortable with oneself... I was extremely uncomfortable at 244lbs! lol I feel this obsession is beneficial when used correctly, just like the saying goes, everything in moderation

MercuryBlue

Kinda like if there is a birthday party, does she avoid the party altogether or just the cake?

Well said! 'Obsession' could mean many different things to many different people.

Like, I consider myself 'obsessed' with losing weight right now. I'm really, really focused. But that doesn't mean I'm shutting off my life for anyone. My new journey didn't keep me from throwing my son a birthday party with a big, sugar-filled cake. It didn't stop me from baking holiday cookies for my family over the weekend. It didn't keep me from going to my sister's treat-filled spa party two weeks ago, either. I still hung out with everyone and had fun- I just didn't eat like everyone else.

Some people, though, consider eating a social event. My husband and I used to rent movies, get a pizza and a buttload of junkfood, and sit around and shove food into our mouths until we got sick. It was 'our thing', our time together. We still watch movies, he still eats junk- but I won't touch it. And it's like that offends him in some way. It's not my fault he can eat whatever he wants and still look lean and sexy. I can't, and I want to feel good about myself again. That's more important to me than feeling good for the few minutes it takes to eat the garbage.

In the end, it could be a matter or perspective. If all you talk about is your diet, people might be getting sick of hearing it. Maybe they're jealous. Maybe they're insecure themselves... who knows? I've learned the hard way that nobody wants to hear about my little bumps or my little successes- which is why MFP is so great, because I have SOMEWHERE to go to get that off my chest. So I don't talk about what I'm eating or how I'm exercising- I just do it. And while inside my head is really FOCUSED, to the outside world I'm just cool as a cucumber, lol.

bellinachuchina

Kinda like if there is a birthday party, does she avoid the party altogether or just the cake?

It didn't keep me from going to my sister's treat-filled spa party two weeks ago, either. I still hung out with everyone and had fun- I just didn't eat like everyone else.

I want to feel good about myself again. That's more important to me than feeling good for the few minutes it takes to eat the garbage.

So true! For my son's 3rd B-day Pirate Party, I baked him a HUGE pirate ship cake...that I enjoyed making, but didn't eat...I know what I put into that baby! lol Last night, I went out for a ladies night with my girlfriends to The Melting Pot (fondue restaurant = crazy amount of fat & cals). They enjoyed their fondue, and I had an awesome spinach portabella mushroom salad! You can live life while watching your figure, just takes determination & lots of willpower Here's to living life & feeling good!!!

MadWorld

The way I monitor myself is how my mental mindset is towards my "healthy lifestyle". Am I getting angry/stressed over food? Am I missing out on going out to eat with friends/family bc I "can't have that or my whole day will be ruined"? Am I overexercising to compensate for calories I have consumed?

I have been down that road and realize that I walk a very fine line between "healthy lifestyle" and flat out obsession. Obsession turns your world upside down if you let it.

If you are happy and have a positive attitude, then I would say everything is as it should be.

But, if you find yourself thinking of food every moment-- that is not happiness. Nor is it healthy. It's about finding balance.

readyforchange

Thankyou to everyone who responded!! I am starting to believe that I have become obsessed and often think back to the days when I was happy and carefree. This being said this will be my final week on MFP as I need to focus my energy into living and being happy. You are all wonderful, beautiful people and I will deeply miss all the positivity I get from this site. Best of luck to EVERYONE on here and may you all be happy and healthy.

BrendaLee

Well, for me, I've been obsessed with food all of my life- at least this time my obsession is going into something that's actually going to improve my health and life.

__

Were those "happy and carefree" days really that great? We have a tendency to gloss over the past when the present gets tough. You might have been happy and carefree when it came to eating whatever you want, but obviously you came to MFP for a reason.

MercuryBlue

Well, for me, I've been obsessed with food all of my life- at least this time my obsession is going into something that's actually going to improve my health and life.

This totally hit home for me.

I've been obsessed with food for the past two years or so. Obsessed to the point where I was always thinking about what I was going to eat next, where I was going to get it, etc. It got to the point I was like a junkie looking for a high. So, I'd gladly take this kind of obsession over that one- at least this one will help me get fit, healthy and trim.

Though, people do make a valid point. The past two weeks has really made me analyze why I got so big in the first place and why food was such a huge part of my day. I realized that that was where I was getting my joy from. Since having kids I've moved away from hometown (about a half hour away), and a lot of my closest friends have moved out of province. Between that and working, I have very little social life. Because of my busy life, I don't have time to do the things I used to do that made me happy. I loved to paint, to dance, to go to karaoke bars, etc. Now, I don't do any of those things- and I've sort of lost who I am along the way. The other day someone said to me, 'Tell me about yourself.' I got as far as, "Well, I'm a working mother and wife...." and stopped. Couldn't think of anything else to say about myself honestly. It was really a ground-breaking moment for me. Because I'd lost those things that made me happy, it got to the point where that pizza or ice cream sundae was the high point of my day. And when I started dieting- over and over again- I inevitably failed because how could I POSSIBLY succeed when I was removing the one thing from my life that made me feel good?

The point I'm making is, this obsession (or focus, as I call it) is keeping me on-track. But once I get where I need to be, if I don't address the issues that made me big in the first place, I'm just going to wind up there again. So in my case, I need to make myself more of a priority. Just like I'm making time right now to eat well and exercise, I MUST make time for myself to do those little things that make life worthwhile.

Mamakatspokane

Well, for me, I've been obsessed with food all of my life- at least this time my obsession is going into something that's actually going to improve my health and life.

This totally hit home for me.

I've been obsessed with food for the past two years or so. Obsessed to the point where I was always thinking about what I was going to eat next, where I was going to get it, etc. It got to the point I was like a junkie looking for a high. So, I'd gladly take this kind of obsession over that one- at least this one will help me get fit, healthy and trim.

Your not alone. I was very much like a junkie looking for food instead of drugs.

rheign

Thankyou to everyone who responded!! I am starting to believe that I have become obsessed and often think back to the days when I was happy and carefree. This being said this will be my final week on MFP as I need to focus my energy into living and being happy. You are all wonderful, beautiful people and I will deeply miss all the positivity I get from this site. Best of luck to EVERYONE on here and may you all be happy and healthy.

I guess readyforchange is ready for change. DOH! =0

rheign

*isn't