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What throws you off track?

MercuryBlue
Posts: 886 Member
So, it's been about two and a half weeks since I first decided, "That's it, no more excuses, you're not living this way anymore!" and started eating healthy and exercising. I'm feeling great- and think that I'm finally on the path I need to be.
Unfortunately, I've said that before. I've tried- and failed- to live a healthier life many times in the past. The problem is that there are a few things that I can count on every time to sabatoge me, and throw me completely off track.
I believe that I'm doing better this time around because I've become aware of my 'triggers', and am avoiding them. But I did fall into a lot of bad patterns in the past. So I thought it might be good for us to talk about what's 'brought us down' in the past, and how we've learned to cope with it. It might be beneficial to others who are experiencing/have experienced the same sorts of situations.
In my case, there are always two big things I can count on spoiling my attempts. The first is my husband. While I know he wants me looking like we did when we first met, I can sense a little bit of hesitation on his end. It's like he is subconsciously sabatoging me. Whether it's from a fear of change, or if he is worried I'd find 'someone better' if I were thinner, he's always pushing food at me. For a long time, I felt like I was losing weight for him. And, if he offered me something that was bad for me, I'd almost take it as a sign that he was 'allowing me' to be the way I am. That is, if he didn't want me this way, he wouldn't 'let me' eat this poorly, right? I caught myself thinking that way and realized that I'll NEVER be successful if I'm doing this for someone else. Yes, I want to look sexy for my husband. But most of all, I just want to feel healthy and energized and good about myself. Making this journey about health and fitness and self, as opposed to just 'being skinny for my man' has given me a lot more strength, I think.
The second big problem I've faced in the past is other people's opinions. I have tended to go jump feet-first into various diets in the past and I always made a big show about it. Like, "Okay, I'm dieting now! Look at me!" When I have successes, I want to scream it from the rooftops. But no matter what I've done to try and lose weight, someone has had something negative to say. The negativity would inevitably wind up hitting me so hard it would, like, negate all of my success. Then I'd just give up. I really realized this a few months ago. I was eating clean and exercising. My calorie intake was good, but I still somehow lost five pounds in about a week (A lot of it, I believe, was due to the fact I was eating fiber and drinking water, so I was losing waste and water weight). I thought that was an achievement, but a few people made snarky comments about how what I was doing wasn't healthy (actually, it was the healthiest I'd ever been), etc. It totally brought me down and I went back to eating garbage.
This time around, I've done two things. For one, I've talked to my doctor and researched every option, and I'm confident that diet and exercise is the way to go. MFP has really helped me- and I KNOW that I'm doing what's best for me. So if anyone says something different, I can laugh it off because I know they're wrong. Also, I've made a point of not really telling many people what I'm doing. I don't count calories in front of people, I exercise when I'm alone, etc. It sucks because I don't have a lot of real life support, but it means I don't have to listen to armchair experts, either. It's why I like these forums so much- because I can still talk about how I'm feeling and what I'm doing. The support is here, the tools are here... but none of that negativity.
Unfortunately, I've said that before. I've tried- and failed- to live a healthier life many times in the past. The problem is that there are a few things that I can count on every time to sabatoge me, and throw me completely off track.
I believe that I'm doing better this time around because I've become aware of my 'triggers', and am avoiding them. But I did fall into a lot of bad patterns in the past. So I thought it might be good for us to talk about what's 'brought us down' in the past, and how we've learned to cope with it. It might be beneficial to others who are experiencing/have experienced the same sorts of situations.
In my case, there are always two big things I can count on spoiling my attempts. The first is my husband. While I know he wants me looking like we did when we first met, I can sense a little bit of hesitation on his end. It's like he is subconsciously sabatoging me. Whether it's from a fear of change, or if he is worried I'd find 'someone better' if I were thinner, he's always pushing food at me. For a long time, I felt like I was losing weight for him. And, if he offered me something that was bad for me, I'd almost take it as a sign that he was 'allowing me' to be the way I am. That is, if he didn't want me this way, he wouldn't 'let me' eat this poorly, right? I caught myself thinking that way and realized that I'll NEVER be successful if I'm doing this for someone else. Yes, I want to look sexy for my husband. But most of all, I just want to feel healthy and energized and good about myself. Making this journey about health and fitness and self, as opposed to just 'being skinny for my man' has given me a lot more strength, I think.
The second big problem I've faced in the past is other people's opinions. I have tended to go jump feet-first into various diets in the past and I always made a big show about it. Like, "Okay, I'm dieting now! Look at me!" When I have successes, I want to scream it from the rooftops. But no matter what I've done to try and lose weight, someone has had something negative to say. The negativity would inevitably wind up hitting me so hard it would, like, negate all of my success. Then I'd just give up. I really realized this a few months ago. I was eating clean and exercising. My calorie intake was good, but I still somehow lost five pounds in about a week (A lot of it, I believe, was due to the fact I was eating fiber and drinking water, so I was losing waste and water weight). I thought that was an achievement, but a few people made snarky comments about how what I was doing wasn't healthy (actually, it was the healthiest I'd ever been), etc. It totally brought me down and I went back to eating garbage.
This time around, I've done two things. For one, I've talked to my doctor and researched every option, and I'm confident that diet and exercise is the way to go. MFP has really helped me- and I KNOW that I'm doing what's best for me. So if anyone says something different, I can laugh it off because I know they're wrong. Also, I've made a point of not really telling many people what I'm doing. I don't count calories in front of people, I exercise when I'm alone, etc. It sucks because I don't have a lot of real life support, but it means I don't have to listen to armchair experts, either. It's why I like these forums so much- because I can still talk about how I'm feeling and what I'm doing. The support is here, the tools are here... but none of that negativity.
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Replies
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You've always got to do it for yourself. I understand exactly where you're coming from.
I had to learn to enjoy my little victories instead of killing myself because I could never reach my main goal. One of my biggest derailments is the addictive qualities of bad food. I will have one day where I cheat and I crave it constantly after that. It's like breaking my addiction all over again. I felt like crap afterwards - why do I want more lol?0 -
You've always got to do it for yourself. I understand exactly where you're coming from.
I had to learn to enjoy my little victories instead of killing myself because I could never reach my main goal. One of my biggest derailments is the addictive qualities of bad food. I will have one day where I cheat and I crave it constantly after that. It's like breaking my addiction all over again. I felt like crap afterwards - why do I want more lol?
I understand the addiction part too well!
It seems whenever you're trying to quit something, you find it everywhere. If you're trying to quit smoking, you can't help but come across smokers. If you're trying to quit drinking, you avoid bars. Trying to quit drugs, avoid areas where there will be drugs available.
Stopping that bad food addiction is probably the hardest of all because it's literally EVERYWHERE. On television, in magazines, popping up in that little add on your computer screen. No matter where you go, you will find food that's bad for you! No wonder so many people have a hard time getting healthy!0 -
MFP also serves as a great support for me on this journey to a healthy and happy self I'm so glad I found it!
I would say my biggest downfall is ultimately food and my love for it. I really enjoy tasty food - sweet, salty, savory - you name it I love it! I was raised eating all kinds of different foods and it has made me the furthest thing from a picky eater this side of the mason-dixon. The only food I would actually pass on is olives - and c'mon now, how many times are you offered olives in a day? Because I love food so much it is like a comfort for me. When I'm having a bad day I want to eat a bunch of food. On a cold winter day I want to eat a bunch of food. When I'm feeling depressed about anything I want to eat a bunch of food. I think you get my point. I use food as a crutch to get me thru and its never the right food either. I don't grab the baby carrots, I call Broadway pizza and order a chicken ranchero pizza that I eat all by myself. How do I get past this? Just since I got home from work today things have not been going right and the first thing I wanted to do was eat something greasy or chocolatey - which I'm happy to say I didn't! I opted for a whole wheat wrap with chicken, hummus and cucumbers!
So now I've realized where my problem is, now I need to divert my attention when I'm in such a predicament. Any advice on how you others do so would be greatly appreciated!0 -
My weight has always been up and down my whole life, when I get to the size where all my clothes fit I just stop exercising and slowly put the weight back on . I think maybe it might be different this time because I am not exercising my butt off, I just do 30 mins everyday and I have faced the fact that this is what I will to do my whole life if I want that chocolate.goodluck with your journey I hope you stay on track.0
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I think for me, I get so caught up in feeling like I'm missing out on all that food that's out there. And I've NEVER learned how to really eat healthy. I've gone back and forth from obese to anorexic/bulemic. The last time I lost weight, I started telling myself not to overdo it and get back to a too low weight. But instead of eating maintenance calories I went back to overeating, then got pregnant, and well.... here I am. And I try not to get in a food rut, eating too much of the same foods everyday. I am just now finding awesome lean recipes with alot of flavor.
Another thing is either setting my goals too high or too low. They say the average American woman is a size 14 (that's me) and so I settled for that until my health got worse and my doctor urged me to change. Now I'm setting very short term, manageable goals for myself and trying to look at how far I've come instead of how far I have to go. I tend to be a little negative, so if I look at the 40 lbs. I eventually want to lose, it seems impossible. Instead I try to look at Hey, I've lost 20 lbs. now it's time to take on the next 5.0
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