Skinny gals who complain about being fat!

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dujennifer
dujennifer Posts: 162 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Does it drive anyone else crazy when their skinny friends complain about how fat they are? I know we all have body image issues, but how do they think it makes the person across from them feel? I have struggled with being overweight (legitimately by medical definitions) for about ten years and have to work everyday to keep it off. Would it be wrong to smack them upside the head....hehe.
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  • ktrichards87
    ktrichards87 Posts: 67
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    Yes it does bother me to hear people saying it....But I've also had friends that try to gain weight and it bothers them when people make comments of "I wish I was as small as you" because they are struggling with the same issue, but on the opposite end of the line basically. So they may not always mean it...
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    Does it drive anyone else crazy when their skinny friends complain about how fat they are? I know we all have body image issues, but how do they think it makes the person across from them feel? I have struggled with being overweight (legitimately by medical definitions) for about ten years and have to work everyday to keep it off. Would it be wrong to smack them upside the head....hehe.

    definately, sometimes I have to keep myself from smacking them haha

    there was this one girl who kept saying that til finally i just started to agree saying YEAH U LOOK GINORMOUS! lol
    her eyes nearly popped out of her head, she said REALLY?
    can u tell she was just fishing for a compliment?
  • mommy2ans
    mommy2ans Posts: 93 Member
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    It bothers me too, but at the same time those people may need help as well. I have been there before and just because she may look skinny to you...doesn't mean she sees herself that way. :ohwell:
  • bjs06
    bjs06 Posts: 316 Member
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    Sometimes it kind of urks me, but I think all women have issues with their bodies. It doesnt matter what size you are, when your pants get tight, when you have to buy a new size.. it hurts. There is a difference between gaining weight and fishing for a compliment though. The last thing I want to do is reassure a friend who already knows how great she looks about how great she looks while Im struggling to look like that. So i guess I sort of sit on the fence with this one.
  • dujennifer
    dujennifer Posts: 162 Member
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    So true, I know for most the gals who say it, they truly think it, it just is hurtful to hear.
  • GraceKelly
    GraceKelly Posts: 7,378
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    mostly they don't see themselves as being skinny. I can honestly tell you people tell me I don't need to lose weight, but when I see myself in the mirror, I see overweight. I don't see anything other then that. So reach inside yourself and realize that "skinny" girl has her own demons. Respect that, like she respects you.
  • mommy2ans
    mommy2ans Posts: 93 Member
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    bjs06...I may steal that quote from you at the bottom of your comment, I really like that. :smile:
  • andyc_law
    andyc_law Posts: 4
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    yeah that is annoying but i also get people telling me to shut up when i complain about how i want to lose weight. i have a thin frame i guess and i'm used to being thinner so when i gain weight it's not as noticeable unless you see me naked. so i might seem average or thin to other people but since i know i've packed on a few or more i feel fat and gross. i'm sure mostly everyone could probably benefit from being a little more in shape, anyway.
  • MercuryBlue
    MercuryBlue Posts: 886 Member
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    I think it's a matter of perspective. Like, I feel huge at 162 because I've been 115. In my eyes, everything jiggles. But to someone who's 300 pounds, 160 pounds might be a target weight.

    Also, we're generally harder on ourselves than others. My sister is shorter than me and outweighs me by about ten or fifteen pounds... and I think she looks fine. Heavier than she used to be, sure- but still good. So just because they think they're fat doesn't mean they think you are....
  • BamaRose0107
    BamaRose0107 Posts: 635
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    I think it's a matter of perspective. Like, I feel huge at 162 because I've been 115. In my eyes, everything jiggles. But to someone who's 300 pounds, 160 pounds might be a target weight.

    Also, we're generally harder on ourselves than others. My sister is shorter than me and outweighs me by about ten or fifteen pounds... and I think she looks fine. Heavier than she used to be, sure- but still good. So just because they think they're fat doesn't mean they think you are....


    I agree with this. I started out close to 300 and look at 160 as tiny its actually samller than I want to be. I am at 175 and only want to lose 5-10 more pounds. But if I were ever 115 it might be different. I try to remember that even though I see someone as skinny they might see themselves differently.
  • gympamela
    gympamela Posts: 188 Member
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    I look at pictures of me from before I had my daughter (back then I wasnt skinny, I had about 15 pounds to lose) and I freak out with how GOOD I looked then compared to how awful I look now. Its unreal how much perspective it gave me on what I REALLY looked like back then. I wished I could have been happier in my own skin then, but I was so concerned with how overwieght I was. That is my short term goal weight now LOL.
    It does piss me off when truly thin women go on and on about their flaws in front of someone who has a long way to go. I have a friend who does that and I know she only does it to get compliments about how thin she is. Its so rude and frustrating. I always just tell her that if she isnt happy with how she looks then she needs to put down the (insert bad food or alcoholic beverage here) and get to the gym.
  • ImGoinDown
    ImGoinDown Posts: 16
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    I hate that! It's like, if you're fat than just call me Shamu!
  • TNTPete
    TNTPete Posts: 701 Member
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    I have people tell me not to worry about my weight cause I look "good" enough. Why is it you have to be 30+ pounds to be accepted as a person who wants to trim down? Sorry, I know you 're looking for empathy but really -- body image is just that an image and everyone can improve their body and complain about it too. Just because my weight loss is 11lbs doesn't make me less entitled to feel "fat". It also doesn't mean I look at someone who is 190 and say.. wow, now she's/he's fat. It probably has nothing to do with you... try not to take it as a backhanded jab, it probably isn't meant that way. AND if it is meant that way - call her out she'll stop (like that one gal suggested say wow, yeah you could lose a few!!). Life is too short to worry about others' perspectives.. stick to yours.
  • gympamela
    gympamela Posts: 188 Member
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    I think the point the OP is trying to make is that if you are not all that fat, dont ***** to your fat friends about it.
  • TNTPete
    TNTPete Posts: 701 Member
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    I think the point the OP is trying to make is that if you are not all that fat, dont ***** to your fat friends about it.
    Nice...

    I guess what OP are saying as well as there is no ownership of "fat" and if they are your friends you should be able to say something like -- I really need to go to the gym I feel fat today.
  • iplayoutside19
    iplayoutside19 Posts: 2,304 Member
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    If one of my freinds complained about being fat I'd give him a hard time about it complete with explatives. But that's what guys do is rag on each other.

    It's definatly a perspective thing. I get annoyed about all the threads titled "OMG I just ate a 700 cal lunch!" 700 calories is a medium sized lunch for me, and sometimes it get's up to 1100...but I'm set to 2350 kcal w/o excersise (and I do a lot of that). If I was set to 1700 like my wife I could see where that might be a problem.

    However, some maybe looking for attention. When I run across someone looking for attention, I go out of my way to ignore them.
  • BamaRose0107
    BamaRose0107 Posts: 635
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    Everyone is entitled to feel anyway they want about their bodies. Just because someone is smaller than me does not mean they can't talk to me about their problems with their body. One persons opinion of "fat" could be different from someone elses. Really it comes down to how confident a person is with themself as to whether or not a person smaller than them talking about her body upsets them. Just cuz I am not 115 does not give me the right to say only I can complain about my body. That is childish.
  • MariSama44
    MariSama44 Posts: 340 Member
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    I hate that! It's like, if you're fat than just call me Shamu!

    Totaly feel you! Ugh, I hate that!
  • kicklikeaGIRL
    kicklikeaGIRL Posts: 867 Member
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    When a skinny girl tells me she is fat- I can guarantee you it isn't just some random person. It is probably a close friend. Depending on what I know about that individual...depends on what my reaction will be. I know EXACTLY which friends/roommates/associates are just saying they are fat (when they are skinny) to fish for compliments. I also know which have image issues and possible eating disorders and which ones need help and support. Each situation is different. I am obviously not bothered by the friends with the image issues, because lets face it- I feel bad that they can't love and feel confident about who they are as a person. For those with eating disorders or in need of serious help- I am the supportive person who tells them to get the help they need. So, what I say or how I deal with each situation is going to be different. I get very irritated with those who constantly fish for compliments. I typically do not say anything and act like I didn't hear them...because no matter what you say to them they fight and fight until you have to pull up your shirt and show them your rolls :sick: and PROVE that THEY are the skinny one. Haha...ugh.... So, yes for the most part... Skinny gals who KNOW they are skinny and complain about being fat bother me!! If you won't listen to me the first time, don't ask again because the answer you get might not be the one you were fishing for!!! :laugh:
  • MercuryBlue
    MercuryBlue Posts: 886 Member
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    Skinny gals who KNOW they are skinny and complain about being fat bother me!! If you won't listen to me the first time, don't ask again because the answer you get might not be the one you were fishing for!!! :laugh:

    Oh, for sure. Skinny girls who KNOW they're skinny and talk about how fat they are drive me crazy. I was not put on this planet to follow you around and reinforce the fact that, yes, you're hot. :p

    Whenever someone smaller than me says they want to lose weight, regardless of if they're fishing for compliments or being genuine, I give them the same response. "Well, if you'd like, you can be my weight-loss buddy! We can exercise and count calories together. :)" If the person was just fishing for compliments, it's usually a disappointing answer, lol. If they really DO want to lose weight/get healthier/whatever, then I wind up with another person to be accountable to.

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