How do people deal with this?

geekyjock76

For progress photos, it's best to be in the same lighting conditions and assume the same stance with same angle. For short-term changes, you should also wear the same outfit until it no longer fits.

secretlobster

Oh, also remember that while you've had success so far, you're still a work in progress. Try not to let pictures (deceptive, evil pictures) emotionally affect you. If you were really THRILLED with the picture, you'd probably be at your goal weight... Let it motivate you to keep going. I can't wait to see your "success story" photos

girlykate143

As for faceplate, detag that photo or video or whatever. Post the one your hubby took. Camera and video add 10 lbs., or so they say.
Congratulate yourself for all the progress you've made. You and the horse.

tcunbeliever

First of all, even skinny people look fat in riding clothes...they are just not a positive fashion statement for anyone other than another horse person, and then the positive is all just association with horses not that anyone looks good in those clothes. Second of all, I think it starts with loving yourself how you are, fat and all. Embrace the fatness! You are making positive change in your life and no one but you will ever truly be capable of appreciating 100% of the effort it takes to do that. So stop looking in the mirror or at the pictures and start really appreciating how much you have accomplished. Every time you make a decision to eat something healthy instead of something junky - you need to recognize yourself for that, no one else will ever really understand how difficult that is, so give yourself the credit you deserve! Every time you exercise, even if it's just walking a flight of stairs, or parking in the back of the lot - you are choosing to make positive changes. You are an amazing human being and no one else in all the history of time will ever be exactly like you. So you made some bad decisions in life and you aren't happy with the results - are there people who get through life and manage only to make good decisions? I haven't met any yet. You are actively working to make better decisions and that is AWESOME! Don't minimize it - you earned it, embrace the positive change! Your real beauty will never be caught by a camera.

karynspeace

Avoid pictures... it is all in the angles taken- seriously. Plus we just have a hard time accepting what we see, whether it is actually a good thing or a bad thing. I always thought I was overweight... now I look back at those pictures of me 5 years ago and think "What the hell were you thinking!" - NOW I am overweight at 195... and before I was 150. It's all about our own personal idea of what we look like. Sometimes it is hard to get your brain to process and accept what is staring us in the mirror because we see our inner self. I think we do the opposite with photos sometimes... we see the bad parts - the parts we already let go of - instead of the great results that the rest of the world is seeing. Don't let the pictures get to you. I work with a lovely lady who is over 40 and who is tall and thin and might weigh 130 pounds soaking wet. I saw a facebook picture of her in a swimsuit and it was weird- it made her look so much heavier than she really is! It has her upset too - but the picture was distorting.

Don't let the photos define you - it is the person you ARE that matters, not the shell you are wearing.

bizorra

I had an experience like this! I had this dress that I bought at my heaviest for a friend's wedding. I liked the pictures of me from the wedding (taken by a pro). I started working on losing weight right after that, and wore the same dress to a Christmas party 3 months later and maybe 15 pounds thinner and I felt AWFUL when I saw those pictures. I looked huge.

Here's what I came up with to make me feel better
- how clothes fit will impact how you look. Wearing a dress that fit at 205lbs and a loose dress at 190 lbs... I looked better in the case where the clothes fit
- pictures are not always flattering, and it's not you. Lighting etc makes a difference. A quality photographer also makes a HUGE difference!
- Angles. I look awesome head on and terrible from the side (my scrawny arms on accentuate my large belly!) The camera can catch a moment where your clothes are flapping a certain way and make you look ginormous.


Can I venture a guess that the picture you husband took of you you were dressed up nicely and posing? And the picture at the barn you were wearing grubby clothes? This will make a difference in how the camera captures you.

Losing 45lbs is a HUGE accomplishment. Take the picture you like of you and put it somewhere you can see and forget about the other ones. Remember that even the skinniest of people can get caught in poses where they look overweight!!!

nc_moon_beam

First, congrats on getting on the horse!! I'm sure you both did great with your first ride.

We are indeed our own worst critics. Even when I weighed 118 pounds (back in the stone ages) I still hated seeing photos of myself. At my current weight, I barely let anyone get a camera near me.

Just keep doing what you are doing. ((hug))

vvanm

OMG that is a cute horse! There is nothing like the fun of owning a horse to give you incentive. By the time you are done grooming, bathing, lunging, and possibly cleaning stalls, you will have a workout, not to mention being outdoors and away from food. We have a horse with weight issues also, with a barn manager who loves to overfeed animals. Now we are dealing with Cushings and insulin Resistance, with diet and exercise. You have lost a solid 45 pounds! That's like a 50lb. sack of grain you don't have to carry around any more. Don't worry about photos! Stay on course and before you know it you will be riding down that trail.

StormyGal8

Thanks everyone.

The lighting really wasn't that good. The picture my husband took was outside in the sunshine, the picture my friend took last night was in the indoor riding ring, at night, out at the barn where I keep my guy. My shirt was too big as well (since I had just tossed on whatever to go out and get dirty with the horses). Angle wasn't so much an issue, since the girl who took the picture was up on her horse as well, but she took a bunch of pictures before I got on him (I didn't realize that until she posted them). I actually don't want to untag myself from her pictures because I am proud of the progress I am making with him, and with the work I am doing with him. I was nervous when I bought him, not having worked with horses at all in about 20 years, and things are going well, so I want to celebrate that.
Here, let me show you the 3 pictures, and you can see what I mean, and why I was disheartened. Sorry if they are huge, I haven't figured out how to resize them yet.

BEFORE:


HUSBAND TOOK THIS ONE on Aug 16:


AT THE BARN last night (this is one of me standing, not of me riding):



I am feeling a bit better now (Thank you all), but it was still a shock to feel like I had stepped back in time, weight wise.

melsmith612

Honestly? I think you look slightly more trim in the picture with the yellow shirt then the one from a couple of weeks ago. Don't get down on yourself, you are doing an AMAZING job. Keep up the good work!!!

StormyGal8

Thank you, I will be happy when it's more obvious, and when I don't feel guilty for getting on my horse LOL. That day will come, I hope.

melsmith612

Thank you, I will be happy when it's more obvious, and when I don't feel guilty for getting on my horse LOL. That day will come, I hope.

At least you'll get on a horse... I'm terrified of them! Actually, I'm terrified of falling (a completely irrational fear) and the one time I can remember sitting on a pony as a kid, the saddle felt like it was sliding out from under me and I would fall so... there you have it, a completely irrational fear of even getting onto a horse. LOL

StormyGal8

Thank you, I will be happy when it's more obvious, and when I don't feel guilty for getting on my horse LOL. That day will come, I hope.

At least you'll get on a horse... I'm terrified of them! Actually, I'm terrified of falling (a completely irrational fear) and the one time I can remember sitting on a pony as a kid, the saddle felt like it was sliding out from under me and I would fall so... there you have it, a completely irrational fear of even getting onto a horse. LOL

Actually, it's not irrational at all. I rode as a teen, and not since. I was TERRIFIED to get up on him. I bought him at an auction, and they SAID he was broke to ride (and drive), but they SAY a lot of things. I was terrified he was going to toss me and I would lay there in the dirt, broken, until someone found me. LOL I wouldn't get on him until there was someone there to call 911 for me LOL. Turns out he is a lazy bugger who barely moves at a walk, so he's great for my kids to get on, but he's mine, and I will work him up to moving faster.

schicksa

Ok I have this problem ALL THE TIME with our competition photos. Unless the photographer is at the exact right angle, something is not going to look good. We all have the right position down (suck in the gut, shoulders down, boobs out) and it still is hit or miss. If the photographer is a little in front, as opposed to directly to the side, it's a HUGE difference in how you look in the saddle.

Sitting up on a horse, there's not much you can do to make it flattering. For example, I have very muscular upper legs, and when you look at them from the side (where they're relaxes and pressed up against the horse) they look 30% bigger than when I'm just standing normally. If I'm posting trot, unless I'm wearing my $50 sports bra (which I bought specifically for ride photos, by the way) my boobs are always in the "flat tire" position. Just for a few examples.

Keep in mind horses can comfortable carry 25% of their own body weight. On average they are 1000lbs, so that's 250lbs. They can go longer, farther, and are more comfortable with less, obviously, but as long as you have a supportive saddle, your guy feels comfortable underneath you and like he's not straining too hard, don't be afraid to ride him. It's good exercise for you both!

My girl is TINY (she only weighs 750 lbs and is just over 14 hands), so I'm right at her comfort zone. Yet we did 18 miles last weekend in the heat and humidity holding about 6mph and she did just fine. If I could load photos in this post for you, I'd load a couple so you can see how angle makes all the difference.

StormyGal8

Ok I have this problem ALL THE TIME with our competition photos. Unless the photographer is at the exact right angle, something is not going to look good. We all have the right position down (suck in the gut, shoulders down, boobs out) and it still is hit or miss. If the photographer is a little in front, as opposed to directly to the side, it's a HUGE difference in how you look in the saddle.

Sitting up on a horse, there's not much you can do to make it flattering. For example, I have very muscular upper legs, and when you look at them from the side (where they're relaxes and pressed up against the horse) they look 30% bigger than when I'm just standing normally. If I'm posting trot, unless I'm wearing my $50 sports bra (which I bought specifically for ride photos, by the way) my boobs are always in the "flat tire" position. Just for a few examples.

Keep in mind horses can comfortable carry 25% of their own body weight. On average they are 1000lbs, so that's 250lbs. They can go longer, farther, and are more comfortable with less, obviously, but as long as you have a supportive saddle, your guy feels comfortable underneath you and like he's not straining too hard, don't be afraid to ride him. It's good exercise for you both!

My girl is TINY (she only weighs 750 lbs and is just over 14 hands), so I'm right at her comfort zone. Yet we did 18 miles last weekend in the heat and humidity holding about 6mph and she did just fine. If I could load photos in this post for you, I'd load a couple so you can see how angle makes all the difference.

My guy is big, he's only 15HH, but I really think he may be part draft. He's got a huge body, and big feet. When I got him he was 1340lbs (he was weighed, because I bought him at an auction...meat buyers need to know how much they are paying per pound and all ), he's probably about 1100lbs now, with a 2inch crest (it was 6 inches when I got him, we don't think the last 2 inches will come off though) and a small fat pad on his hind end still. I am 253lbs right now, and am not riding him for long periods (like 15 minutes at a time for now).

As for 6MPH...frick, if I could get my guy to go 2MPH I would be happy LOL. Not because he's struggling (he was the same with a substantially lighter woman on his back too), but because he's just pokey/lazy.

schicksa

Ha well we do endurance with Arabians (and Arab crosses), so they're built to move for long periods of time. :-) The big guys are slower but they're also super sweet! Sounds like he's a pretty well-cared for pony!

happypath101

When talking about how she looks in pictures:

"Even I don't wake up looking like Cindy Crawford."
Cindy Crawford

Never fear! You are not alone! :O)