How do people deal with this?

marathon64

Sometimes we are just too good at seeing what we don't like. We distort what we really look like or have an unattainable ideal. Also I have heard a lot of overweight people who lost significant amounts of weight say it took time for their brain to catch up with what their body actually looks like. Concentrate on how good you feel, how fit you are, and your fitness goals. Embrace that strong and fit ARE the definition of beautiful. Embrace the confidence and strength you have earned. You ARE a rock star for working and achieving so much. Keep seeking out the support here. Also take progress pictures NOW every month or so and measurements.

dldnvr

Keep the picture you like. Toss out the other one.

Congrats on being well on your way to a much healther you.

It's always something, I swear the day I hit my goal weight, I'll most likely get a big pimple on my face.

Focus on what you have done, how much better you must feel now and keep going.

jesindc

*Anyone* can take a bad picture. Anyone! Don't let it get you down. I bet the pictures were taken from a low angle since you were on the horse, right? Nobody looks good from a low angle (not even twiggy people). When I first put weight on in college, my girlfriends and I insisted on taking pictures of each other from high angles so that we didn't look like we had 4 chins.

I had a similar experience a few months back. I knew I'd lost weight. People had been commenting on it -- I'd dropped a couple sizes in my clothes and the numbers on the scale confirmed that I'd dropped weight, but somebody snapped a picture of me in some workout clothes and I looked dreadful.

Well I decided that even though I was feel down, I logically knew that I'd made great progress and that it should be celebrated. I went to lululemon and bought some new work-out clothes and now when I put them on, I feel awesome. In full disclosure, lululemon makes some awesome yoga and running pants that totally suck your tummy and legs in and make you look 5 pounds lighter, but they are still comfortable, and I feel like I look really good when I wear them. I highly recommend treating yourself to a new piece of clothing that really compliments your new and improved figure and don't worry about the pictures. You're doing great!

TheRealParisLove

Keep the camera angle in mind! If you husband was shooting you straight on or even from slightly above you, the subject will appear more slender than from other angles.

Also, were you sitting or standing in the other photos? Standing in photos makes a person look thinner, especially if your arms are away from your body and if you are standing up straight.

So if you are comparing and standing photo shot at a slight downward angle to a photo where you are seated and looking down on the photographer, of course the seated photo will appear to add weight.

Photos are funny things! Just go get some shots at more flattering angles right now and you'll feel better, I promise.

KimberlyDCZ

alot of things can factor into the way you look in a photo. Maybe it was the lighting or the clothes you were wearing, your position, etc. Also, it can depend on your mood. When I'm in a good mood, I look in the mirror and see beauty. When I'm in a cranky mood, I notice my flaws. 45 lbs is a big deal, everyone will start to notice soon if they haven't already, including you!

Going4Lean

Pictures can be deceiving and we are our own worst critiques.

Going4Lean

alot of things can factor into the way you look in a photo. Maybe it was the lighting or the clothes you were wearing, your position, etc. Also, it can depend on your mood. When I'm in a good mood, I look in the mirror and see beauty. When I'm in a cranky mood, I notice my flaws. 45 lbs is a big deal, everyone will start to notice soon if they haven't already, including you!

Totally agree, happens to me.

KittieLea

45 pounds is a huge success! Maybe you were having a bad day and need to look at that picture again? Or maybe you were wearing something unflattering? 45 pounds lost is awesome progress regardless of what a picture makes you think. Congrats, and keep it up!

auria17

You’re judging yourself harshly and are feeling guilt for your horse on top of it. Seeing change is the hardest thing in oneself. That is why it's easier to see what's wrong in someone else’s life than it is to see in your own. The same goes for weight loss. It is easy to see five lbs. of loss in a friend, but you can barely see almost 50 lbs. of difference in yourself? I am sure your horse will be fine with the weight, I know it is hard, but tell your body everyday how much you think it is doing great, and then visualize and think about the size and measurements that you want to be at or the fat percentage that you want to end up at. Weight, like age, in the end, is just a number!

pudgeylou

I had this exact experience last night. It is so odd that I would read this now. I have lost 23lbs, I have a long way to go yet but it is a start. I looked at a picture taken a couple weeks ago compared to before I started my weight loss and I felt pretty good, I could see a difference. Last night I took a few pictures of myself and I look the same as in the beginning. I didn't understand how that was possible. I wish it were different but I am glad to see I am not the only one who has had this experience. It is a little disheartening to feel like all your efforts and progress haven't made a difference. Maybe that is why I skipped my workout this morning, I just didn't feel like it was doing any good. Sorry I couldn't spread a little sunshine and make you feel better. Don't worry though, it will happen for us, we keep working at it and we will get there.

geekyjock76

For progress photos, it's best to be in the same lighting conditions and assume the same stance with same angle. For short-term changes, you should also wear the same outfit until it no longer fits.

secretlobster

Oh, also remember that while you've had success so far, you're still a work in progress. Try not to let pictures (deceptive, evil pictures) emotionally affect you. If you were really THRILLED with the picture, you'd probably be at your goal weight... Let it motivate you to keep going. I can't wait to see your "success story" photos

girlykate143

As for faceplate, detag that photo or video or whatever. Post the one your hubby took. Camera and video add 10 lbs., or so they say.
Congratulate yourself for all the progress you've made. You and the horse.

tcunbeliever

First of all, even skinny people look fat in riding clothes...they are just not a positive fashion statement for anyone other than another horse person, and then the positive is all just association with horses not that anyone looks good in those clothes. Second of all, I think it starts with loving yourself how you are, fat and all. Embrace the fatness! You are making positive change in your life and no one but you will ever truly be capable of appreciating 100% of the effort it takes to do that. So stop looking in the mirror or at the pictures and start really appreciating how much you have accomplished. Every time you make a decision to eat something healthy instead of something junky - you need to recognize yourself for that, no one else will ever really understand how difficult that is, so give yourself the credit you deserve! Every time you exercise, even if it's just walking a flight of stairs, or parking in the back of the lot - you are choosing to make positive changes. You are an amazing human being and no one else in all the history of time will ever be exactly like you. So you made some bad decisions in life and you aren't happy with the results - are there people who get through life and manage only to make good decisions? I haven't met any yet. You are actively working to make better decisions and that is AWESOME! Don't minimize it - you earned it, embrace the positive change! Your real beauty will never be caught by a camera.

karynspeace

Avoid pictures... it is all in the angles taken- seriously. Plus we just have a hard time accepting what we see, whether it is actually a good thing or a bad thing. I always thought I was overweight... now I look back at those pictures of me 5 years ago and think "What the hell were you thinking!" - NOW I am overweight at 195... and before I was 150. It's all about our own personal idea of what we look like. Sometimes it is hard to get your brain to process and accept what is staring us in the mirror because we see our inner self. I think we do the opposite with photos sometimes... we see the bad parts - the parts we already let go of - instead of the great results that the rest of the world is seeing. Don't let the pictures get to you. I work with a lovely lady who is over 40 and who is tall and thin and might weigh 130 pounds soaking wet. I saw a facebook picture of her in a swimsuit and it was weird- it made her look so much heavier than she really is! It has her upset too - but the picture was distorting.

Don't let the photos define you - it is the person you ARE that matters, not the shell you are wearing.

bizorra

I had an experience like this! I had this dress that I bought at my heaviest for a friend's wedding. I liked the pictures of me from the wedding (taken by a pro). I started working on losing weight right after that, and wore the same dress to a Christmas party 3 months later and maybe 15 pounds thinner and I felt AWFUL when I saw those pictures. I looked huge.

Here's what I came up with to make me feel better
- how clothes fit will impact how you look. Wearing a dress that fit at 205lbs and a loose dress at 190 lbs... I looked better in the case where the clothes fit
- pictures are not always flattering, and it's not you. Lighting etc makes a difference. A quality photographer also makes a HUGE difference!
- Angles. I look awesome head on and terrible from the side (my scrawny arms on accentuate my large belly!) The camera can catch a moment where your clothes are flapping a certain way and make you look ginormous.


Can I venture a guess that the picture you husband took of you you were dressed up nicely and posing? And the picture at the barn you were wearing grubby clothes? This will make a difference in how the camera captures you.

Losing 45lbs is a HUGE accomplishment. Take the picture you like of you and put it somewhere you can see and forget about the other ones. Remember that even the skinniest of people can get caught in poses where they look overweight!!!

nc_moon_beam

First, congrats on getting on the horse!! I'm sure you both did great with your first ride.

We are indeed our own worst critics. Even when I weighed 118 pounds (back in the stone ages) I still hated seeing photos of myself. At my current weight, I barely let anyone get a camera near me.

Just keep doing what you are doing. ((hug))

vvanm

OMG that is a cute horse! There is nothing like the fun of owning a horse to give you incentive. By the time you are done grooming, bathing, lunging, and possibly cleaning stalls, you will have a workout, not to mention being outdoors and away from food. We have a horse with weight issues also, with a barn manager who loves to overfeed animals. Now we are dealing with Cushings and insulin Resistance, with diet and exercise. You have lost a solid 45 pounds! That's like a 50lb. sack of grain you don't have to carry around any more. Don't worry about photos! Stay on course and before you know it you will be riding down that trail.

StormyGal8

Thanks everyone.

The lighting really wasn't that good. The picture my husband took was outside in the sunshine, the picture my friend took last night was in the indoor riding ring, at night, out at the barn where I keep my guy. My shirt was too big as well (since I had just tossed on whatever to go out and get dirty with the horses). Angle wasn't so much an issue, since the girl who took the picture was up on her horse as well, but she took a bunch of pictures before I got on him (I didn't realize that until she posted them). I actually don't want to untag myself from her pictures because I am proud of the progress I am making with him, and with the work I am doing with him. I was nervous when I bought him, not having worked with horses at all in about 20 years, and things are going well, so I want to celebrate that.
Here, let me show you the 3 pictures, and you can see what I mean, and why I was disheartened. Sorry if they are huge, I haven't figured out how to resize them yet.

BEFORE:


HUSBAND TOOK THIS ONE on Aug 16:


AT THE BARN last night (this is one of me standing, not of me riding):



I am feeling a bit better now (Thank you all), but it was still a shock to feel like I had stepped back in time, weight wise.

melsmith612

Honestly? I think you look slightly more trim in the picture with the yellow shirt then the one from a couple of weeks ago. Don't get down on yourself, you are doing an AMAZING job. Keep up the good work!!!