How to deal with people who insist you're overweight?

Antlady69

Sorry if someone has brought this up before: Have you actually asked your close relative WHY they keep telling you you're fat, when you're not? It might be that they have some sort of body dysmorphic disorder where they think that anorexic-looking girls are beautiful. It might be jealousy, like someone suggested. It might be something completely different. Ask them.

The main thing is that you trust yourself, that you always remember what you know is true, namely that you're healthy and NOT overweight, and that you do not let their criticism get at you. Best of luck!

Ralphrabbit

Having expressed their concern & you having checked out the numbers, the next reaction is to say firmly that this conversation is now over! Or you can get personal about them. Some friends just push it too far!! If it is family that goes double......

taiyola

Some people have a sort of distorted view of themselves, or lack confidence. The easiest way for them to gain self-confidence is by being better than someone. If you were the "fat one" this family member compared themselves to, and now you are not, your success kicked a leg out from under them. They are now convincing themselves (and you) that you are still in some way inferior, which by default, makes them superior.

You like how you look, and that is all that matters. This person is going to have to deal with their own demons, or find another "fat one" to hang out with. You can try having a heart to heart, and letting them know how they are making you feel, but I wouldn't bet on making a change. Those kinds of changes have to come from internal motives, usually.

THIS.

Sometimes girls like to make comments about me (even friends), and so after a few times, I started saying things like "You know, I thnk it's a bit rude that people go out of their way to make comments about others. If I were to start commenting on how fat, ugly and spotty some of the people who make comments about me are, they would probably cry"

They then say "Oh, I didn't mean it! I'm only joking!"

Funny thing is, that they will make comments about the way I look, yet they themselves are overweight, not the best looking, and have bad skin etc. I never make bad comments about them, only good ones when they make an effort to look nice. I get a lot less comments from those girls now

taiyola

Main thing is...

Stop defending yourself.

Tell them you think it's rude when people go out of their way to make comments that are unwanted.

Pick out something bad about the way they look, and mention it.

If they think that everytime they call you fat, you'll bring up how dreadful they look, they'll promptly stop.

pkw58

Wow. Even when people ask me if I think they "look" overweight I immediately ask them if they feel healthy. The charts are a guideline (most of the charts tell me my "healthy range" is between 125 and 164 lbs - trust me, I didn't start feeling great until about 145, others at my height can run marathons around me at 160) and I can't imagine someone telling me (other than my doctor) to lose weight when I was 174. And believe me, I was not healthy at that weight. So sorry people do this to others.

Maybe the proper response is a simple, "thanks for expressing your concern - I find my current healthy weight perfect for me and my fit living goals". Seriously, people who view the low end of our capable weight ranges as the only way to be "fit" need an education.

We come in all shapes and sizes, and the comments from people who have witnessed my recent weight loss range from "how did you do it?" to " you are done now, right?".

Well, I am not done. Maintenance is the rest of my life. I plan to use MFP as support - because you really never know what people will say to you or try to tempt you with from straying off the "healthy" path.