stressed

breezy81

Hi all, I turning here rather then my kitchen. It is Christmas and always stressful this time of year, but my hubby and I always fight about my family now. They drive him crazy(as they do me) but they are my family and I love them. To make it easier I planned us going to visit them, like he asked. Now that it's time to go I hitting his brick wall. Long story short, we fight about it and will all week. In the past I will go eat too much junk while I am stressed. Not going to do that this year. So I am venting a little on here and having a good cry, wishing that there was more then 5 hrs between fams so that a weekend visit wasn't possible....

AnneElise

Good for you not going to the fridge, you won't feel better just worse! maybe get some exercise in to help with the stress and take your mind of the fighting.

Maybe find a place you and your husband can volunteer to help at over the holidays to try to do something positive together at the same time you are fighting. My husband and I just made shoe boxes to send to children in 3rd world countries, it was so fun picking out the toys and packing it up. You can enjoy being together and keep your mind of the upcoming family visit :ohwell:

breezy81

Thanks that's a great idea! I would love to hit the treadmill right now,but with kids(run daycare) that wont be happening!! Maybe we could go do our toys for tots shopping, that's always nice. Plus some jerks broke into the local warehouse and stole $100,000+ of toys from toys 4 tots!!!! They need help

AnneElise

Oh NO! Thats horrible. That makes me so sad that people are willing to do things like that! It would be great if you could help them out.

kookla33

I hear what you are saying about family stuff causing stress at this time of year. I have been through this for so many years with my husband's family. We finally went to counseling about it and my husband has started to understand why it is difficult for me and not fun to be around his family. His mom has a lot of issues and does not treat me with respect. His sisters are the same way.
After trying to work it out with them, we realized his mom and sisters arent' willing to change and they still want to play the same old games. So, my husband told them we love them but unless they are respectful, we are going to need to be away from them. Things have been much more peaceful since. It's hard when it's family because you miss them, but you don't miss all the drama.

Maybe there is something that is bothering your husband regarding your family. It might be a boundary issue. The two of you and your relationship are what matters the most, and until your fights about family are resolved, you will continue to feel stressed.

Good job realizing that you are emotional eating and that you aren't going to let it go on.

Hang in there!

breezy81

Maybe there is something that is bothering your husband regarding your family. It might be a boundary issue. The two of you and your relationship are what matters the most, and until your fights about family are resolved, you will continue to feel stressed.

Good job realizing that you are emotional eating and that you aren't going to let it go on.

Hang in there!

You are so right, 11 years and he finally tells me he feels like they have no respect for him! He keeps his mouth shut as not upset me but I told him if they do something tell them, I do his family, after all we are all one family!!

kookla33

If you and your husband can find a good counselor, I think it would help you a lot. That really helped my husband and me. We were able to look at things in a different way, with a proffesional's point of view.

Never tolerate people disrespecting you or your family, not matter who it is. I allowed my mother in law to yell at me and slam doors in my face for too many years. Then, I got tired of it and stood up to her calmly but firmly.

Good luck! Remember-taking care of yourself starts with not allowing things like this to take you down anymore. You owe it to yourself and your family.

Have a peaceful Christmas and New Years