Support or a Lobotomy Please

obrendao

Life is presenting with so many challenges I don't now where to begin. I am a FT nursing student, mom to two little ones, have incredibly high stress, and to add on top of that I have some extreme hurt from someone close to me. Imagine every hurtful thing you can do to someone you purport to love, destroying all trust and creating immeasurable pain. Then compound this behavior over several years.

Some days I just want to give up. I am really trying here. I don't want to direct my hurt onto myself by doing unhealthy things. But that has been how I dealt in the past. Someone give me anything to keep my chin up, I could really use it!

LaurySch

Love that your back up plan if no one supports you is so drastic! Made me pay attention!

Good for you for picking up and moving on and for realizing that it's a 'whole life' thing and not just a 'weight' thing!

I'd be glad to tell you to keep your chin up, otherwise people will focus on the whole double chin thing...

cmriverside

Does your school offer any counseling? I think it would be helpful to you to talk to some knowledgeable professional. Sometimes we just need a little help to sort things out.

I hope you've ended the "relationship" with whoever it is that has been mistreating you.

Good luck. Step away from the cupcakes. :flowerforyou:

arewethereyet

I am kind of tired today, but thought I would stop and and tell you a lobotomy is NEVER the way to go. Sure the 'lob club' will tell you it is the only way to lose weight fast, but really is it worth it? Just cut the carbs and do some yoga instead

As the mother of 3 grown children, I know what it is like to have little ones and work. I wish I had gone to school, but I did not. School is going to make things a lot easier down the road, but for now you need to find an outlet for stress. A yoga video, on line or net flix always seems to calm me down. depending on the kids ages, maybe they can 'play' with you!!

I am with CM, if you are still with the abuser, get some counseling and get out. Do NOT think for a minute it is better to stay for the kids. They will tell you otherwise in 20 years!:flowerforyou:

You are welcome to PM me if you like, if you want to chat or get things off your chest. I am not a professional, but have plenty of experience

ajrjaneway

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I remember going through similar times and it is so hard. Chocolate was my best friend and it was a struggle to make it from one day to the next. I am so sorry you have been hurt. If I could make it go away, I would do it in an instant.

You are not alone and the best thing you can do it take care of yourself. Love yourself. We are here for you. You can add me as a friend if you want to.

Take some time to be alone for a few minutes. Close your eyes and breathe slowly, in and out. Clear your mind of everything and just relax. All that other stuff is temporary and will not be important ten years from now.

I believe in you. You can do it!

Restybaby2012

YOU are worth soooooo much more than the things that are and have happened to you. This is a mere bump in your journey to a better, happier healthier leaner you. Stop giving others ANY degree of power over you.

Continue what you know is right and good. Fight the good fight and remember...this too shall pass

RainHoward

And that would be one of the ways I got so fat. Depression sucks. And it hurts. And it causes us to do things we normally wouldn't do, like look for happiness in the refrigerator. If you're able, find a professional to talk to. That weekly visit can do so much. If nothing else, it's 50 ,minutes a week all about you with no interruptions. When you want to eat or participate in some other negative behavior try getting up and moving instead. Take a walk, jump up and down, chase your kids in circles. Something that gets your body and your mind moving.

And most importantly know that you are not alone.

lenoresaari

Couldnt help but laugh with you on the Topic. i have felt that frustration many a time with my life, weight, finances, kids, work, self, relationships, etc; but was like that 20 years ago- nursing student with 2 under age 3 children- no money, high stress, the works. Nice to have met you. I dont have anything particularly unique to offer except similar past history and trying remember to
"Easy does it" . I keep telling myself that.

obrendao

Thanks for all the kind words. I will take up the offer to PM. I did get up and take kids to gym for a heavy upper body workout and i feel better. Hopefully I can make my life right again and not destroy all I've worked so hard for! Hugs!

Sharlene113

Girlfriend, I'm right there with you. PM me. FT final semester nursing school, stressed to the max, 3 kids at home, father-in-law had heart attack this morning, husband going off to Chicago leaving me to handle it all. I'm usually a stress eater and it's days like this when I'm home studying and being stressed when it's the worst. I'm absolutely 100% with you and here for you. YOU CAN do this! We're in this together. I was feeling really stressed this morning, packed up my school stuff for an hour and went downstairs to workout. Feeling much more energy and less stress right now. I'm glad you decided to make a positive, healthy choice there too. And whoever it was that hurt you, they better run because you're an amazing person and will come out on top!

jbieniek1

Exercise is a definite mood booster! Some advice that I got from someone long ago was to try it for 10 minutes; if you don't feel better, don't continue. But it ALWAYS makes you feel better! It's a good thing to get addicted to. I have some pounds to re-lose (my pic is how I used to look -- trying to get there again), and stress had a lot to do with my weight gain. Sometimes you just have to be selfish.......find a way to work out for YOU. Eat healthy (even tho it's more expensive) for YOU. Screw the nay-sayers!!!!

kathyms13

can i ask please, what is a lobotomy

lilacsun

I went through nursing school four years ago and had something horrendous happen while going. As a matter of fact the final blow was on graduation night about an hour before I walked. I gained a whopping 35 pounds from the stress and finally am working on getting the weight off for good. On top of it I'm actually thinking about going back. Sending a friend request.

LisajoeB

Stress is an awful thing..but it will pass (geez, I sound like my mother!)
but seriously, I know it does, I've been there too.
I pray you get through school with your brain intact It must be tough with 2 little ones.
Keep your chin up - although it may not feel like it, you may have more support than you know!

lenoresaari

you can and you will. .....

lenoresaari

Could we be friends too? I am a nurse also-

k4evans1

You got this! Do it for yourself and your kids. You are worth it and so are they

arcticfox04

1, Stress is evil learn to get rid of it. Have a me moment doesn't matter where. Take a nap, shower, meditate do something to clear your mind out
2, Learn your that your the most important person in your world. Since your the only person that can live your life.
3, Learn to balance your time. Try to schedule your day ahead of time. Just do a rough guesstimate of everything to give your a general idea on how things will work out.
4, Have your food log preplanned. Do the night before. A balanced log goes a log way to reducing stress with good.
5, Exercise when you can. It helps lower stress and you'll feel so much better.
6, When thirsty drink water. 10 cups a day and your kidneys will want to be your BFF.

arewethereyet

can i ask please, what is a lobotomy

removal of a part of the brain

SarahAFerguson

Some days when I'm so stressed I can bearly function I have to just take a few minutes and practice breathing. I seems silly and simplistic, but I've discovered that when I'm stressed I tend to breath shallow and it takes several tries to fully inflate my lungs. Of course this won't fix your hurts or lighten your load, but it does afford a little time for your body to relax a bit. Also, try to get the right amount of sleep if you can.

obrendao

1, Stress is evil learn to get rid of it. Have a me moment doesn't matter where. Take a nap, shower, meditate do something to clear your mind out
2, Learn your that your the most important person in your world. Since your the only person that can live your life.
3, Learn to balance your time. Try to schedule your day ahead of time. Just do a rough guesstimate of everything to give your a general idea on how things will work out.
4, Have your food log preplanned. Do the night before. A balanced log goes a log way to reducing stress with good.
5, Exercise when you can. It helps lower stress and you'll feel so much better.
6, When thirsty drink water. 10 cups a day and your kidneys will want to be your BFF.

Thanks so much for these tips, I will try to keep these in mind as I begin each day. Its tough but I'll try.

obrendao

Some days when I'm so stressed I can bearly function I have to just take a few minutes and practice breathing. I seems silly and simplistic, but I've discovered that when I'm stressed I tend to breath shallow and it takes several tries to fully inflate my lungs. Of course this won't fix your hurts or lighten your load, but it does afford a little time for your body to relax a bit. Also, try to get the right amount of sleep if you can.

Breathing exercises are great. I do try to sleep well too. Being angry and resentful and hurt are so toxic, but I can't make those go away no matter what I do unless I get out of the situation I am in. Will be doing a lot of deep breathing and trying to meditate just to keep from being overwhelmed. Thanks!

kelseyhere

You are setting a good example for your kids, that should make you feel better! My mom worked her way through nursing school when I was young, and it made me so proud of her! There is a picture of us from her graduation when I'm about 6. She set a good example for me early to work hard and that has always stuck with me. You are doing the same for your kids.

SarahAFerguson

Ah yes, meditation. I have recently heard that you can actually change your brain chemistry by meditating. Not sure how that works, but It sure does help to push all the anxiety away for awhile. I use visualization techniques like imagining that I'm floating along and when worrying thoughts come near I give them a nudge and they float away.

You could also try some relaxing background sounds if that helps. I recommend earphones if you have noisy children (mine can be deafening at times).

Gramps251

can i ask please, what is a lobotomy

Not to be confused with "LABATTomy" which is performed with Canadian Beer. You have to count the calories and carbs when performing a LABATTomy.

junodog1

I hear you! And I can relate, though I was in your shoes many years ago. I think a lot of us moms spend YEARS in at least a mild depression because we are somewhat overwhelmed and can control so little of our own lives. My youngest is now a senior in high school. I love my chldren dearly, but I am not afraid of the empty nest.

Let me reassure you there is light at the end of the tunnel, but it can be a very long tunnel.

For today, read this message board post. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/735642-ps118-24
It made me feel better. And don't be afraid of the bible verse reference - it is not preachy.