I Want It ALL

RockinBooty89

I had a stressful job a couple of years ago, but the money was great and it seemed worth it. Then it hit me one day that I didn't have a simple bathroom scale. Then another realization hit me... did I really want to know what I weighed? After wrestling with this for several weeks I decided I had better get it over with and just go get one. Then I really thought about what that number would be, a year before I weighed about 260lbs and I felt like I had put on at least 50 lbs, plus I was sure there would be an additional 10 lbs to top that off because that is how my weight tends to work. So I went out, bought a scale and finally had the chance to weigh myself for the first time in at least a year... scary! I was getting on and expecting to see a number over 300lbs...even scarier! So I waited what seemed like 20 minutes for the number to show up (still not a huge fan of digital scales), and its sad to say that I was relieved. I weighed in at 299lbs and I double and triple checked to make absolutely positive. I was relieved that there wasn't a 3 in front of the two other numbers, I think that would have been a meltdown moment if there had, even though in retrospect it would have amounted to the same thing. But relieved I was, relieved that I had caught myself just in time. I didn't eat much over the next couple of weeks, just to make sure I could back down from that number instead of tipping the scale into the 300's.

Shortly after that, maybe a month or so, I lost my stressful job, eventually lost my home and everything I had worked for, I moved in with my boyfriend's mother until I could find another job and within 3 weeks it came. But not just a job, my dream job. Working with children doesn't allow sitting on your butt all day like I had been doing previously. I was thrilled, and within a month of starting took off 10 lbs! Slowly after the holidays had passed (tough time to lose weight) I lost about another 10, but my progress halted after that and I was stuck at 280. Then I finally moved in with a friend and immediately lost another 10lbs, it was amazing! But here I am now, stuck right around 270 and ready to take off more. I want to get into shape. I'll be 24 in a few months and it would be nice to be around 250 by then, but my real long-term goal is for my 25th birthday. I want to lose all the weight I can throughout the next year, get to 160, be healthy, be happy, be energetic and start living my life.

I've always been heavy, but its not my body that bothers me. Its going up and down the stairs and at only 23 having aches and pains in my joints and not being able to breathe when I get to the top. Its the idea that I have been trying to get pregnant for the past 2 years and the only explanation I can come up with is that I just need to lose some weight. I want a full life and if that means that I have to cut down on portion sizes and junk food and start being more active then thats what I'm going to do. So I talked to my doctor a few months back and she told me about MFP, said it was a healthy way to keep track of what I'm eating and my weight loss progress and a good start in the right direction. So I joined, but today is my real first day, the first time I've logged back in since, and I already feel better about myself and what I've started today. Today is the day I take control because I want too many things to let my fate be determined this early in my life. I want the nice house with the white picket fence, with a nice husband and nice children. I want it all and I'm not going to get there unless I stand up, take control and choose to be healthy and there are no two ways about that. So today I pledge that I will be healthier everyday to come than I was the day before and I would appreciate as much support as I can get on my journey. Thanks for reading

RobynMWilson

Welcome! And when things get tough, because it's not always easy write down your "why" and go back to it. And it will be worth it in the end! You CAN do this!!