It is hard getting back....

Exhalt

I have been struggling with my weight since I was born. I have been in the upper 95% tile when it came to weight. If you don't know what that means, it means I was the biggest or second biggest child in my classes. I was blessed to to go a school where I didn't get bullied for my size, and it wasn't until I graduated from high school that I realized I had a problem. I mean I got the jeering worlds and fun poking at, but my friends always told me I was beautiful and that I needed not to listen to them. But when I came to college, I started to realize that everything was wrong. All my friends were skinny, beautiful, and popular, where here I was being well, me. College is where I realized that this body is not what I wanted to be. I wanted to be athletic and fit. But I had no clue how. In the past I have tried, Weight training, restricted dieting, not eating (yes I know it is bad), working out 3 hr a day, eating only white foods(chicken, rice, mashed potatoes), and then I finally gave up. I "accepted" my body as is were and that is probably my worst mistake.

But now here I am 276 lbs [19.7 stone] (weighed this morning), ready to start to be healthy. I know it is a step to step process, but I seem to hate for the middle part, actually losing the weight at reasonable increments. I watched my father drop 45 lbs in 3 months. What did he do? switch from regular soda to diet. I went from regular soda to only water and lost 5 lbs or five. Back in January of this year I was 297 lbs [21.2 stone] and I was miserable. I cut my food intake by half and stopped using the elevators where ever I went. I got down to 277-278lbs [19.7 stone] by march, I had been dating this guy at the whole time and he became the push for me to loss weight. I wanted to look even better for him. But he dropped me suddenly like a bad habit and I stooped into a sort of depression, where all I would do is go to class, where I would munch on snacks, eat breakfast lunch and dinner, homework and I would munch then too. Not to mention staying up late to watch movie and eating then too. I am a comfort eater... and during that time I thought I needed lots of comfort. I got back up close to 290 lbs [20.7 stone], but I didn't even care. I felt fat, knew I was fat... and everything was sour.

I have now since dropped that pity party and hoped on the train to success. My goal is to be 140 lbs (I am 5' 6"). I want to be cute and fit. I have horrible time with keeping on track unless I have something/someone who relies on me or holds me accountable.

If you have any advise for me, please feel free to post below. If you want to have a friends who will cheer you one I am here. I like to give support as well as get it.

Blessed be,
Kittie

LyssaJ1

Welcome to MFP, Kittie! This is the first day of the rest of your life! So this means you get to take the bull by the horns and take control of your life and how you choose to live it. You're choosing to live a better, healthier life...and that's a good start.

Of course, here's where the hard work kicks-in. First, you need to educate yourself. Why? Because in order to re-make yourself, you have to un-do all the bad habits you've learned over your life (I am soooo hip with this!)

The definition of insanity: doing the same things over and over again - expecting different results. So now you get to stop that form of insanity

When it comes to education, there is a plethora of wisdom shared on this site...especially for "Newbies" (I'm relatively new myself, having got on here in mid-August.)

Go through *each section* of the Communities...see what's pinned for reading, for new folks. I'd provide the links, but you need to choose this for yourself.

While I can 'cheerlead'..."Mother Hen"...I'm also keen on accountability. Mainly I use accountability to remind folks that they are to account to *themselves*. No one is here for your health, but you. However, many *will* help you along the way, as long as you are willing to help yourself

If you want to add me, please do. I'll do my best to help you on this journey to better health! :happy: