Staying on track while partner eats whatever they want

Jennifer076

It is very hard for me, b/c he can eat whatever. And I feel like he is not very supportive or someone that motovates me. Which makes being on this journey extremely difficult. Not having someone telling you good job when i work out, or anything really positive makes me fail a lot, and I just give up. I know I am not doing this for him. But support is still huge.

tubbyelmo

My man is a chef but I can honestly say the foods he chooses to eat at home are NOT healthy. He loves Chinese take-away, calzone pizza, burgers etc BUT thankfully will eat what I cook for him, and I do most of the cooking at home since he has to cook all the time at work. He fancied some supper last night, we were watching a late film on tv, I feel quite pleased with myself that I made him crispy chicken dippers (now that they are finished from the freezer I won't get any more) with coleslaw but didn't fancy having anything myself. In the past I would have shared the portion with him.

Julicat6

My DH is 6'0" 185, sits on his butt playing video games while I go work out, eats what he wants and drinks sodas and real sugar in his coffee, all day. He has health issues that limit his ability to workout and eat veggies( Crohn's, Rheumatoid Arthritis, and Fibromyalgia) We walk together a few times a week and he occasionally enjoys swimming. I put on a lot of my weight by not making adjustments for the fact that I cannot eat like him and I must workout hard to lose any weight. I don't crave salty snacks often so his snacks don't bother me, I just keep things here I can have if I want something and watch my portions. I cook at home quite a bit, most days I make a meat we can both have, a starchy side that he can have as much as he likes and I'll have a small serving, then I add a nice salad or steamed veggies for me. If I'm making stew or pasta sauce I augment mine with either salad or adding frozen spinach or veggies and a bit more unsalted chicken broth to a small portion. Eating out is not a problem, I actually like many of the healthier options and he is fine with me telling the waiter to only bring a few slices of bread or rolls to the table, not a basket full. Last night for example after Zumba I came home and made sauteed fish fillets, he made rice in our microwave cooker, while I heated up a steamer bag of spinach and couscous. Those steamer bags are my best friend for adding veggies to my meal. I will add he is very supportive of my goals, 90% of the time. If he is really wanting something that I like that is high in calories, he lets me know early in the day and I eat more veggies and less calorie dense foods early on and add extra gym time, so we can go and enjoy. I still monitor my portions, but I find ways to fit in our favorites without ruining my progress.

HeatherHoskins

My live in boyfriend refuses to "diet " with me. At first this was hard to deal with but I finially got to the point where if you don't like what I cook, cook for yourself. I tried to make healthier versions of what he likes or I would make a side of french fries for him while I ate veggies. Also make sure you google the resturant before you go out to eat. Find the nutrion facts and pick something that will work with your remaining cals. It is so much easier to decied at home at the computer then in the resturant smelling the yummy food. Avoid rolls, breads, or chips that come to the table free of charge and fill up on salad not appitiZers. If you set your mind to fitting it into your day it will be easy to watch him eat crap while you are eating healthy.

santini1975

Substitutions! If he wants fast food I order the grilled chicken sandwich with mustard instead of mayo. If he wants pasta I make him noodles and spaghetti squash for myself. Try to find a similar food to what he's having, but a low calorie version so you don't feel deprived.

spicyginger2006

wow, so many people seem to be dealing with this issue- myself included!!!

in the past (because i work ALOT) my boyfriend will make dinner so its ready when i come home. well now, hes still offering to do that, but when i watch him cook it makes me CRINGE!! he does not measure anything at all and doesnt take into account that I need to be counting that!! it offends him and doesnt understand that i need to be doing things a different way now.

kebrown73

So glad it is not just my live in BF that does all of this!!!!!! He loves to cook and will always make out my plate and if I dont finish it he asks me if everything was okay. I cant believe I never thought about just making my own plate so we dont split 50/50.

Something I have learned is to not lean on him for a work out buddy. His wants to diet and go to the gym arent as strong as mine so he will be good for a few weeks then fall off the bandwagon, which causes me to fall off too. Now MFP is my workout buddy

vypeters

Reach an agreement now that it's OK to eat differently. Sometimes hubs and I have the same thing for meals, but usually not. Sometimes I'll have part of the same thing he eats. Our daughter will sometimes have one, sometimes the other.

We don't do laundry together either.

You can structure your relationship any old unconventional way you want as long as the two of you work it out together.

Cori_Mac

Ah, yes. I live this, too.

I usually do the cooking, simply because I enjoy it. Since my transition back to low-carb, I have really stepped up the creativity with the vegetables. My BF is happy to eat what I make (usually lol) but sometimes he wants pasta, sandwich, etc. In that case, I'll tack that onto whatever else I'm making for myself. It's not a whole lot of work for me.

My BF is supportive of my changes, but not vocally so. It's more like he just doesn't mention it. This may be because he's watched me try and fail so many times at losing weight. He has his own weight and health issues, and I know I used to nag him endlessly about the soda and bags of chips... in the end, he makes his own choices. All I can do is suggest. I hope that he will see how much better I feel, and he'll join me on this journey.

ndearing0501

Just remember what's important to you. Keep strong and remember that what you do today will affect you later in life. It was hard at first when my husband was the same way. But I look up foods before I order them to make sure I'm making good food choices. It's been a couple years but my husband is slowly coming around too. It may take some time, but you need to remember what's important to you. The ones that love you will follow suit. Stay strong girl!

szarlotka717

Yup, being healthy around partners can be challenging. I gained about 30 pounds in 2-3 years largely because my husband and I had been splitting food pretty evenly (he's 6'5", I'm 5'7"), he doesn't pay as much attention to fat/sugar when he cooks (which is most of the time), and I started eating much more fast food (as a vegetarian, I hadn't really been going to McDonald's/Burger King/etc. much on day trips/getaways before we met due to their limited veggie options, but he does eat meat and doesn't like Subway).

Especially since he does most of the cooking, it's helpful for both my husband and me to be on the same page about my goals. We're far from perfect, but here are some things that we have tried:
*Splitting food so that it's 2/5 for me, 3/5 for him instead of half and half
*Checking in about shared meals in advance so that I can plan out the rest of my meals and decide how much I want to exercise and when
*If he really wants pizza/other unhealthy delivery, he mostly orders things that I actively dislike and something smaller/healthier for me to nibble on if I'm hungry
*Me taking more ownership over what I decide to consume in the face of temptation since no one has been force-feeding me :P
*Doing more active things together (ie kayaking, walking, bike riding, etc.)
*Communicating frequently about progress and challenges