Anybody Want To Chat?

MikkLuhnRozzWhuh

I just wanna talk to somebody. Make some friends on here....I'm new and just...yeah. If anybody can relate to me, I'm totally up to chatting with them.
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I'm 21 years old, 5 ft 9 in, 240 pounds....and uhm, yeah, it's all over. Not just in one place.
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I need to learn to exercise more, eat better, eat less often, and try to love myself.
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I hate looking at other people because I wonder sometimes if I will ever look "good" again. I also tend to look at people who seem to be bigger than me and imagine myself hitting that point instead of getting better. I wonder how big I actually look to people and think about it all the time.
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240 sounds like a lot. It's because it is. It's almost a quarter of a thousand, half of five hundred....I don't know, I tend to think the worst.
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I live in a town in the middle of nowhere and have very little friends....not because I'm rude or unsociable, but because they're either away at college, busy when I'm available every time, or because it's just that small a town. Sometimes I feel so alone and like I've got nobody on my side and nobody cheering me on and it hurts.
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I live in a family where everybody is on my back about how much I complain about wanting to lose weight....and so they hold me to it and it hurts so bad. They catch me eating here, and there, and then again and again....and they find the worst time to say "Didn't you just eat?"...."Why are you eating again?" and the worst one..."I thought you wanted to lose weight."
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Just before MFP, I was walking everyday and motivating myself to eat better and it just kind of fell apart.
I went to the doctors and found out I might have diabetes and that I have a lot of health issues related to my weight.
Fun.
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It would really be pretty nice to have a friend right now. So if you think you could be a good friend to me, that'd be wonderful.
I'd consider myself a pretty good friend so if you're a friend, I'm a friend back. I can't be a friend to you, though, if I don't know you're there....yano?

wayaluna

Hi,:flowerforyou:

I live in a small town and find it can be challenging to find friends. It's good to see you on MFP as this is a site full of people striving to live a healthy lifestyle. Changing a lifestye takes time and hard work. I'll be glad to walk along side you as you make the journey.

What is your dream for your lifestyle? I find it helpful to see my desired outcomes in very specific details. What I will look like? What will I weigh and what will I be able to do?

Question: How do you eat an elephant? Answer: one bite at a time.:laugh: It's the same way you loose weight. One bite at a time. Make a committment to yourself to never quit and never give up. You can so transform yourself! You've got the power! :happy:

MikkLuhnRozzWhuh

What is your dream for your lifestyle? I find it helpful to see my desired outcomes in very specific details. What I will look like? What will I weigh and what will I be able to do?

....this is a toughie. I want to be healthy...so bad. I don't want to be at risk for diabetes. I don't want to catch myself eating for the fun of it instead of going outside doing something. I don't want to be the same ol' person that I am today.
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So what does that mean? I want to exercise and I motivate myself to do so. I don't eat every 5 minutes. I drink a lot of water. I want to be back in a size 10. Wearing medium size shirts. Feeling confident, inspired....motivated, most of all. I just want to be better.
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How would I LOOK? Well, I'd be the same tall girl that I am now, but I'd probably look even taller because of how much weight would not be dulling my height. My height is, I think, hidden by the extra weight. I think that I'd look a bit more stretched and tall and I'd look....good.
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I don't mind the thighs. I just mind the stomach. The upper arm fat. The stretch marks. I mind all of that. My thighs are luscious and amazing, but I would like them to stay that way, but just be more toned. My butt would be tight and worked. My stomach would be....well, not a place for fat storage. My arms would be strong and healthy. My face would be energized and youthful....not so pudgy and tired.
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You'd be able to see it in my face that I am happy. I wouldn't feel so exhausted and bored with everything, but instead, find myself wondering more and more about what's in store for my life.
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I don't know. I feel like losing this weight would do me a lot of good.
I know it won't solve everything. I know it won't make everything alright.
But right now, I only see myself going uphill....if I go any further down, I'll have some serious health issues.
And I'll get extremely depressed...more than I already seem to be at times.
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I've been asked to explain why I want to lose weight in that way before. It makes me think.....

MikkLuhnRozzWhuh

....hello? Anybody out there?

nothing1994

*sings* is anybody out there?

MikkLuhnRozzWhuh

*sings* is anybody out there?

Pink Floyd! YES!