How to deal with the mother of my step-children

fullofhope76

The problem is that my husband and I have gotten to be good friends with his ex and her husband. When we get together she sometimes goes on and on about their children and their past lives together. This bothers me because it almost feels like she is trying to get my husband to think about those times and maybe she is trying to win him back? I thought, well, that can't be because she is happily married, but her husband can be quite the douche bag, especially to the kids. Maybe their marriage is not as great as I thought. I really don't want to lose my husband, but I believe in fate. If it is meant to happen that they get back together so be it. They are some of the best friends that we have. We have a lot in common. I don't want to break the friendship, but it seems like if I want to rid myself of the problem of hearing about their lives together I will have to break it.
Thoughts?

caranda8

Hey there I to have not 1 but 2 ex's to deal with, and I honeslty think it's better to just stay cordial with each other, and stay far away, I never once thouht it was ok to be that close with his ex's, my husband talks to the girls directly and that's it, of course when they were little we had to communicate with the mom's, however it was strictly about the girls, good luck, it's tough being in a relationship like that!

Koldnomore

I have the same general situation with my boyfriend and his x-wife (she does not have a boyfriend yet) It took me pretty close to a year before I could get comfortable with the whole 'relationship' that they have to have for the sake of their son but eventually I figured it out.

It's tough to see our mates with another woman/man without being a little jealous but when the mates are talking to someone else with whom they are "co-parenting" a child its natural that they will discuss the children and the past with them..Now if she is talking about events without the kids then it's different - but only if that's all she is talking about.

Don't take this wrong but is there a reason that you think your husband isn't happy with YOU? Why do you feel you will lose him just because he has something in common with the other woman? Have you talked to your husband about your feelings? Possibly he needs to give you more reassurance in your relationship..does he tell you he loves you every day etc...

I trust and love my boyfriend and know that he loves me completely so when he talks to his X, or they go out together to "parent night" at daycare or to a doctor's visit for the child I don't worry about him ever going back to her because he is with me now and I know he loves me and that he split up with his x because they just weren't a good fit for each other in terms of their lifestyles and goals - this hasn't changed at all even if we are all good friends.

It's unfortunate that his X may not be happy in her relationship but this alone isn't a reason to worry about her wanting your husband back. Talk to him. Express your feelings. If he loves you he will help you through it.

Ruthe8

Maybe I don't understand, but if you believe in FATE then why bother trying to stop it?

fullofhope76

Maybe I don't understand, but if you believe in FATE then why bother trying to stop it?

I am not trying to stop it, but I also don't want to help it along.
I have low self esteem, and I have gained about 50 pounds since we got together 13 years ago. He doesn't tell me loves me at all unless I say it first and he does not initiate any sexual contact with me.