Unsupporting or unthinking?

kayl3igh88

My son and I live with my mum and my 2 younger siblings. We had a BBQ yesterday that left some raw, previously frozen foods needing to be eaten ASAP. I'm the main cook in our house, so I asked my mum if she'd like hot dogs for tea. Her reply was yeah, whatever, I'm hungry. There was only enough sausages for 3, so I cooked them for mum & my siblings (my son had already ate). I used the only piece of leftover chicken to prepare a wrap with salad leaves, peppers, spring onions & chilli, which is really good for me - I have never eaten that many veggies voluntarily. After mum had eaten she brought the plate back into the kitchen, looked at my plate (post-'salad', pre-chicken), and tutted. After asking her 'what?', she said that I spent so much effort doing a 'nice' dinner for myself, and she only got hot dogs & chips?!

So now here's the thing; do I have the right to feel like she's just putting me down, or did I really do something wrong? She's the kind of woman that knows how to hold a grudge (I have her DNA, I should know) so it's likely she will for a while at least. I feel like the first moment I try to do something different, there she is knocking my feet from under me :frown: Is she being unsupportive, or should I have thought about her more?

AmyFett

If she wanted something, can't she get it herself? You asked if she wanted hot dogs, she said yes. I don't see her issue =/

rml_16

I would have said, "I'm having XYZ, so you want some, too?"

But otherwise, this seems like a very small thing to be angry about for more than two seconds.

MB_Positif

I think it's just a simple case of no one was really thinking about the other person in depth...which is totally ok! You saw that there were enough hot dogs for everyone else and offered them up. Could you have shared the chicken with her, sure, but it shouldn't be the end of the world. If she really seemed offended by it you should apologize to her and let her know you just weren't thinking about the big picture when you decided to make the chicken for yourself since there was only one piece left.

jenlarz

She shoudln't have such a problem, but if you want to be peacekeeper how about making her a special meal tonight or sometime soon?

Cyngen

LIke rml said, I'd not worry on it. Keep on doing healthy for you and your son and if you prepping a meal, you can ask if she'd like the same things too... Just a thought.

cakeordeath

yeah if she wanted something else, she should have cooked it for herself. ask her if she wants to try to eat better with you, maybe she feels left out?

maroonmango211

Its one of those situations where you're screwed either way with a stubborn person. If you give them an unhealthy basic meal they'll complain that you got something special but if you gave them a salad and some grilled chicken they would complain that you're trying to put them on a diet or feed them rabbit food. I would reccomend ignoring it, or if it is a common problem maybe clarify when you are making what are going to have instead if it is different from her so she can't say anything later, not for her sake but for yours. I went through a similar situation when living with family for a while after a move and it was tough. I would definitely say that this was not your fault and that it is possibly she is unsupportive of your efforts.

_Elemenopee_

You made yourself what you wanted with what was leftover. She could have easily made something for herself.

kit8806

If you are the main cook in the house, they should be happy with what you make.... end of story. They don't like it, they can fend for themselves. They could have said no, is there anything else. Or, what are you going to have. To be angry about that is just childish. Just my opinion....

myfitnessnmhoy

At "yeah, whatever, I'm hungry" she had given you the choice. You made a suggestion, it was accepted, you prepared it. End of story.

However, depending on your rental arrangements, etc, it might be nice to give her first choice of leftovers next time.

kayl3igh88

Thank you all, next time I'll talk to her a bit more about her options, but some of you were right in saying that she could get it herself/ask for something different if that's what she wants. I'm glad we had this talk :laugh: